Come As You Are Feed

Back to School with CAYA

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Continuing Education the CAYA Way

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Whether you’re packing off your kids to school or you’re merely a civilian witnessing the mass exodus of children from the streets into the schoolyard, we think embracing education in the fall is a fine tradition... especially when it comes to sex education.

While the debate over sex education in schools will surely continue through all of our lifetimes, it is undeniable that most of us never received a proper education in sexuality or sexual health, and we spend much of our adult lives sorting out the mass of misinformation we received in our youth. Fortunately, as adults, it is much easier to access information about sex - we can seek out information online; we can attend sex education workshops at our favourite sex-positive sex shop; we are able to purchase or rent or download sex instruction DVDs.

However, with all of the information out there about sex and sexuality (especially online), it is becoming increasingly difficult to sort out fact from fiction, and this is where we can help! We have spent the majority of our adulthood sorting through sexual health information and sexuality products to bring you only the best of the best from sources that we’ve found to be reliable.

Our sex education workshops are performed by internationally recognized sex educators and authors; all of the books on our shelves have been read by us to ensure accuracy; our adult and educational DVDs are thoroughly reviewed; and our selection of sex toys have actually been tried by us so you know that they actually do what they claim.

We don’t fancy ourselves experts - you’re the only expert on your sexuality - we’re just here to help guide on your journey toward greater sexual health and pleasure.

home parties & private workshops

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Get a personalized, fun, and highly educational tour of the world of sex toys for you and your friends in the comfort of your own home. Come As You Are Sex Toy Parties . The presentation lasts a little over an hour and includes a tour of all the latest sex toys plus juicy sex tips for all genders, orientations, and tastes.

Vote for CAYA on BlogTO's Best of Toronto Poll

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Welcome to the beginning of 'best of Toronto' season! Yes, the release of BlogTO's Best of Toronto poll means that more are soon to come. Now, we got over our collective plaque fetish back in 2001 (when the bookshelf got too full to display any more Best of Toronto plaques) but we do still get off on the external validation that these "Best of" polls provide. So, do the right thing, and indulge our need for gratification by letting us know that you care.

Changing Bodies and Aging

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Sex and senior citizens seems to be one of those topics that the media love to pick up every now and then, play with for a few minutes, and like the ADD folks they are, promptly forget about until a new book comes along, or an editor feels like the word "sex" hasn't appeared in paper enough that week. It's a fad for them.

But for any of us who live long enough, being a senior citizen and being sexual isn't a fad, it's a reality. Our sexuality doesn't stop or change because we are getting older. Our sexuality changes, but it does that throughout our lives.

The biggest change when it comes to aging and sex may not be how our body responds differently, or how we think and feel, it may be the way we are treated by everyone around us, and the ways our access to partners change as we get older.

It's hard not to sound glib about sex and aging bodies. The fact is that as we age we do have to learn to adapt to our changing bodies, it isn't all "embrace your inner wisdom" and "spend all that free time having sex". Although both of those sound pretty good if you can make it work.

The bottom line is that changing and adapting isn't necessarily easy but it is possible and can result in both great sex and greater self knowledge.

Art September 2010 - Wendy Ding - Welcome to Wendyland

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Come and explore Wendyland, the first solo show by Toronto illustrator Wendy Ding. Experience a place inspired by tasty treats, sexy pin-up girls and whimsical imagination. Join us for a lively evening with light refreshments and meet Wendy in person on opening night.

When a sexpert isn't an expert

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

When you work in sex, you get called a lot of names. For sex workers and porn performers, these names tend to be derogatory, playful or political, but in sex retail, titles can range from the banal "sales associate" to the often-misleading "sex educator". At Come As You Are, we don't identify as either.

In fact, since the time we opened our doors way back in 1997, we've struggled with all sorts of titles in all sorts of contexts. The members of CAYA are officially called worker-owners to underscore that we're not a bunch of fat cat absentee owners of this co-operative, but rather, we're actively working in the trenches every day. The government requires us to identify a president, treasurer, etc for their purposes, but within our collective structure, it doesn't make sense to have a president - although, I know that Cory thoroughly enjoyed his tenure as 'secretary' and I find much humour in receiving mail addressed to the 'president'.

Further, we've never been good at coming up with descriptions for our individual job titles. The folks who work in the store and in mail order (worker-owners included) certainly are not 'sales associates' and their training doesn't involve any sales training at all. Instead, we all receive training on sex-related books, sex education dvds, erotic dvds, sex toys and sexual health, as well as, sex and disability, anti-racism, sex and gender, and mental health. We aren't sales focused at all, but we don't believe in calling ourselves 'sex educators' because that implies that we have a formal education in sexuality. Of course, anyone can call themselves a sex educator, and often we've wondered if we should jump on that bandwagon for the sake of simplicity, but it feels disingenuous to do so.

For folks in the media, we're even more annoying with our refusal to be named. One of our core values is to be the anti-expert, which means that we reject titles like 'sex expert' or even worse 'sexpert', but in this culture of expertise, we're expected to have authoritative-sounding titles, and we just can't and won't budge on our core values. Nor should we.

We've been playing around with some new names lately, but they all seem either boring or exaggerated, so we're enlisting your help! Yes, this is the official Come As You Are Nomenclature Contest of 2010! Send us your suggestions and we'll be awarding prizes for the best names, as well as prizes for the most humorous names too. Send your entry to contest@comeasyouare.com by the end of September to have yours considered.

Thoughts from the floor - Thinking About Sex

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Since I joined CAYA I’ve been thinking more about sex. While that might go without saying, the thinking part of it is the most exciting part for me, since not only do I get to think more about sex, but I get to think more about what sex really means to me and tout le monde. Pars que je peu parler en francais, je peu aussi ecrire a tout le monde, mais peutetre avec des mots qui sont pas bon. This fluidity has made me also much more aware of fluidity more generally, which I’m beginning to notice in the world all around me, in the ears eyes minds of us. Thanks, CAYA, for letting me have a place to do, breathe, play, and laugh and and and all about sex. Oh yeah, and for a place to work too.

Ethical Porn - The Globe and Mail

Sat, 07 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The Globe and Mail's Micah Toub (with a little help from us, and Seska!) uncovers the realities the ethics of porn, and helps guide consumers toward the stuff that empowers and doesn't oppress performers.

Memories of Santa

Fri, 06 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Hold on to your reindeer, because Come As You Are is already in Christmas mode, apparently. For the first time, CAYA participated in a holiday preview event for Canadian media and while we know that it is way to early to start discussing the holidays, it was a really interesting event.

We schlepped our wares exactly two blocks east to the Burroughes Building, unintentionally became the FourSquare mayor of said building, watched some Coronation Street in the elevator, and generally had a blast meeting and talking to some really awesome people.

If you've read our August newsletter, you'll already know that Sarah is busy rearing the next generation of CAYA co-op members (she's on parental leave) and this was our first event without our fearless event coordinator here to guide us (and you know, to do the heavy lifting.) But we persevered, and we think, it all came together quite nicely - especially with the help of our freshly minted display and merchandise coordinator (we're such a little coop, but we insist on giving everyone very formal sounding titles.)

The attendees were from all sorts of Canadian media - from blogs to national magazines - and it was lovely to see some friendly faces and some folks who became pretty darn friendly by the end of the day. A special shout out to the folks at women.ca for totally making our day with their unbridled interest, and one of our new favourite blogs luckypennydaily.com. Please don't think we're trying to uh, score, with media with these mentions, we just like to acknowledge awesome folks when they cross our paths.

A lot of folks asked us that day about our 'demographics'. That is, they really want to know about your gender, age, relationship status and orientation - and well, we have a really hard time answering those questions because we really don't think about the world in those terms. Sure, we meet you in-store and online every day, but we work hard to not make assumptions about your lives because we think our being open provides a better experience for you.

Perhaps because we've always had assumptions made about our genders, ages, relationships and orientations, we're just more sensitive to these things, but we believe strongly in being the sex shop and sexuality resource for everyone - not just couples, or women or queer folks. We want all of you to feel comfortable walking through our doors and visiting our website, and we really hope we were also able to do the same for all of the editors and writers who passed through our holiday preview this week.

Come As You Are August Newsletter

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Welcome to our new newsletter!

We've been working hard to bring you a more frequent, relevant and easy-to-read guide to the goings on at Come As You Are - and we hope you'll love the new format as much as we do!

Here's what you can expect from our new newsletter:

Be Accessible: We've increased our font size and changed our font to the easier-to-read, and appropriately named VAG. Working Harder to Make Sex Easier: We'll now be publishing this newsletter monthly to keep the information fresh and to ensure you hear about new toys, books and DVDs as soon as they hit the shelves.

Contribute Co-operatively: We'll be frank: a paper newsletter isn't he most environmentally responsible form of communication. In 2006, we nudged almost 5000 of our newsletter subscribers off of lettermail and onto email and we promise to keep on nudging.

Create Nerdy Fun: We've produced this entire newsletter in-house: we designed, wrote, printed and folded this newsletter ourselves. Sometimes we just create a whole lot of nerdy work, but fortunately, we think it Is a whole lot of nerdy fun!

In other news, we're both happy and sad to announce that there have been some other big changes at Come As You Are co-operative.

Founding member, Cory Silverberg has recently left the membership of the co-operative after 13 years of dedicated service to pursue his interest in collecting Foursquare badges, and Sarah Forbes-Roberts will be on parental leave to raise our collective spawn.

We're half-joking about both, of course, but we'll miss them both terribly and are so appreciative that they've entrusted us with running this great co-op for all of you!

Sex and Pain - Re-imagining paths to pleasure

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

As part of our ongoing effort to document our collective wisdom, Come As You Are Co-operative has produced a series of informational brochures on a variety of topics relating to sex and sexuality. This is the third in our series. If your organization would like to distribute any of these brochures, please contact us and we'll send some your way!

Introduction

Being sex positive at Come As You Are means we consider sexuality to be a site of tremendous health, pleasure and strength in our lives. We also realize that many of us experience physical, emotional, and psychic pain around sexuality. We are great cheerleaders of the positive potential of sex, but proceed with respect and awareness that sometimes sex can feel too painful to talk about.

Whatever the source of our pain, many of us will be faced with the challenge of trying to navigate this barrier to pleasure. For some of us this may be a brief encounter and for others it may be a lifelong challenge.

Though this process can be wrought with challenges and frustration, we also believe it opens up opportunities to redefine what pleasure means to each of us and re-imagine new ways of finding it!

This pamphlet offers a non-medical, pleasure based approach to sex and pain.

Accessing help

Unfortunately, there is still a lot we don’t know about many of the conditions that cause sex to be painful. What we do know is that no one should be told that unwanted pain during sex is “normal”.

If you are experiencing pain during sex it is important to see a health professional to ensure that any underlying physical cause is treated whenever possible. Before an appointment it can be helpful to make some notes, including information about your pain (when does it occur, what do you do/take for it, how long has it been going on, etc.) as well as questions you have for the health professional. Having notes with you may help you feel calmer and more focused, and ensure you get what you need out of an appointment.

When it comes to pain during sex, help can come in many forms. For some, it may mean accessing relationship or personal therapy, physiotherapy, or medical help; for others it may be about reducing their stress levels or making other changes to their day to day lives.

Remember, whenever you are accessing help, don’t be afraid to be your own best advocate! Absolutely ask questions, know your options, and get second opinions!

Sex the way YOU want it!

If you are experiencing pain during sex it may be helpful to try and re-imagine what sex includes. Often we are encouraged to think of sex as vaginal sex or partner sex. But sex doesn’t have to be either of these things. With or without pain, limiting what you think of as sex often only serves to limit your options for pleasure.

People experience sexual ecstasy while being fed a sensual meal, while having warm oil rubbed into their skin, or while being handcuffed to the bed post, and in a thousand other ways. Imagine the kind of sex you WANT to have, not the kind you think you ought to have.

The joy of solo sex When pain becomes a part of our sexual response many of us stop all sexual touch, even masturbation. Time spent on our own and exploring our bodies can be a key tool in learning, or relearning, how pleasurable sex can work for us. Often the pain we experience during sex is not inevitable pain, so making time when you don’t do anything that hurts and only things that feel good is important! Explore whether touching your body in new ways or in new places can create a pleasurable feeling.

Knowing what it is that you enjoy can help you communicate to others where to go and where to avoid so that you start minimizing your pain and maximizing your pleasure.

Toys and tools

Together with a medical professional we designed a set of six 100% silicone dilators. We find these items are often useful exercisers for people experiencing vaginal pain or post-surgery therapy.

When we are experiencing pain our bodies tend to carry around a lot of tension. Massages (with all natural massage oils) can help us not only release this tension, but also reconnect with others and explore erogenous zones all over our bodies.

Vibrators come in lots of shapes and sizes, and offer a range of vibrations from very subtle to very intense. Whether used internally or externally, they may offer a new sensation and increase blood flow.

Erotic books and DVDs can be filled with creative approaches to enjoying sex. From sensual massage to erotic rope bondage, educational to hardcore, they can offer all sorts of new ways to heat things up.

Online Resources

The Sexual Health Network offers an array of articles, mostly from a medical perspective on a range of sexual health issues, including pain during intercourse.

Scarleteen offers a youth-friendly, sex positive approach to sexual health information. Articles on sex and pain include From OW! To WOW: Demystifying Painful Intercourse.

Canadian Physiotherapy Association. Offers referrals to physiotherapists who specialize in pelvic and sexual pain.

Info and resources on vulvodynia from Queens University’s Sexual Health Research Labratory

Books

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability. Includes discussion of chronic pain throughout. Miriam Kaufman, M.D, Cory Silverberg and Fran Odette.

Healing Sex: A mind-body approach to healing sexual trauma. Staci Haines.

Get in touch

Need more information? We can be reached by phone at 1-888-504-7934 or via email at info@comeasyouare.com.

Get registered! Midori's Hands-On Rope Bondage workshop

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Rope bondage can be simple, elegant, effective and sensual, but if you don't know how to do it right, it can be dangerous. In this workshop, Midori will teach you how to use this versatile bondage tool to maximize fun and minimize risks. Learn basic techniques including two-column restraint, body harnesses and creative positions. Midori is the author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, and is an expert in safe and effective Japanese inspired rope bondage. Only a few spots are left for Wednesday's workshop!| register for Midori's Hands-On Rope Bondage Workshop online now!

Buck Angel's Public Cervix Announcement

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

I swear, Buck Angel's entire career has basically been public service - someone give him a government pension asap! Check out his Public Cervix Announcement below!

Rest assured, sex toys will never replace people

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

As part of our ongoing series "the stuff people send us", I'd like to share this well-articulated letter sent to us a few years ago. This fellow is particularly concerned that the popularity and availability of sex toys is causing him to lose potential partners. Well, we don't think that vibrators make for very good people substitutes - not even the talking ones! - in fact, we think that this gentleman might do well to acquire a few of these 'competing' devices to his tickle trunk rather than shun them!

Disclaimer: this letter was sent to a number of sex shops years ago, and we're republishing it here because, well, I love the sex toys he's singled out (Hip and Hop Rabbit Vibe, Mango Packer, etc) and it was clearly meant for a large audience. Obviously, nothing you ever send us in confidence will ever wind up on the internet. Why? Because we believe in being worthy of your trust.

Sex & Pain: Re-imagining Paths to Pleasure

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Welcome to the world of Come As You Are brochures! As part of our ongoing attempt to document our collective experience and knowledge, we've created a series of handy-dandy brochures on a number of topics relating to sex and sexuality. These are not meant to be comprehensive, you know, because they're brochures, but we're hoping that the serve as jumping-off points for folks looking for more information.

The first brochure we're presenting is "Sex and Pain: Re-imagining Paths to Pleasure". Click on the link below to download the pdf, or drop by our (fully accessible) store to peruse our selection of brochures in person!

Microsoft is on the cusp of a vibrator revolution

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

In the history of our Canadian co-operative sex shop, we've been known as the folks who help folks find sex toys and resources, but what you may not know is that we also spend a good deal of time supporting the sex toys we sell. We've always offered warranties on our products (even when the manufacturer doesn't!) and we're always here to help if you find that you have a problem with any sex toy (whether you purchased it from us or not!).

What you may not expect, is that a lot of our product support actually consists of helping people put the batteries in their shiny new vibe correctly. So many of our so-called defective returns are the result of the batteries being incorrectly inserted.

Whether Microsoft knows it or not, they have just opened the door to a revolution in vibrators and other battery-powered devices with their new InstaLoad technology. InstaLoad allows you to put batteries in your device however you please, and it will still work!

May I be frank? Manufacturers do a terrible job of indicating how batteries should be inserted into their products, and most of us just play a bit of a guessing game especially when a device requires more than just two batteries. This is unfortunate and while it is mostly just annoying, some toys can actually be damaged if the batteries are inserted incorrectly (I'm looking at you, old-school, discontinued Fun Factory mini vibes!)

Now, I don't know how many battery operated vibrator manufacturers are going to jump on this bandwagon or if Microsoft would even allow vibrator makers to get a license, but if they did, our lives would be changed forever.

[InstaLoad]

Art Opening: Kim Hurter's Casual Encounters

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Casual Encounters, a mixed media exhibition. Adult ads, pornography, Craigslist personals: we have many methods of seeking intimate moments and finding others to share them with. This show is about sex and the different ways we connect with one another in order to fulfill the natural desires that make us human. Media: Print, watercolour, ink and mixed media.

July 1 - July 31.
Art Opening July 15, 7pm - 9pm.

The Ethicist on Outing

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

I love when mainstream media folks cover issues relating to transpeople. Of course, most of it is bad - Buck Angel on Tyra was awesome because Buck is always awesome, and I think it is great when Oprah has transpeople on, but it never turns out well. I'm not sure that The Ethicist can be considered mainstream media in the same way as Oprah or Tyra, but Randy Cohen recently tackled the issue of when transmen and women should come out to those they date. His treatment of the subject is pretty simplistic and kind of dangerous, but I'm curious about what all of you think. Comment below!

Contribute Co-operatively: Volunteer!

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

If you've ever perused the job opportunities area of the Come As You Are website, you've probably noticed that we require sexual health or education volunteer experience from the folks who work at CAYA. We think volunteering in the realm of sexual health is great for its own sake, but it is also a great way to learn about sex and to learn how to talk about sex...comfortably. Planned Parenthood has some great programs and is always looking for folks to help - check out their posting below!

Planned Parenthood Toronto is looking for volunteer peer educators to talk with youth and women about sexual health! Whether it's about pregnancy options, birth control, STIs, or healthy relationships, our volunteers are trained to answer questions and share information in a non-judgmental, pro-choice, youth-positive, and inclusive manner.

WANNA TALK ABOUT SEX?

-Teen Programming needs volunteers aged 16-19 to answer questions via e-mail, through our Teen SexInfoLine, and using MSN chat sessions.

-Health Services needs volunteers aged 18-29 to facilitate face-to-face peer education sessions with youth clients at PPT's community health centre.

-Women's Programming needs female-identified volunteers aged 19 and up to facilitate face-to-face peer education sessions with female clients at the Bay Centre for Birth Control. Women of color are especially encouraged to apply.

Please check out PPT.on.ca to get an application. Send your completed Teen Programming and Health Services applications to mthomas@ppt.on.ca. Send your completed Women's Programming todpearson@ppt.on.ca. Applications are accepted through July 31st and training will begin in September.

Smog or Snog? You Decide - Come As You Are Blog

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

This week's favourite sandwich board - smog or snog? We vote snog, for sure!

Thank you for the best worst day

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

For all of the joy CAYA brings our worker owners, running our little shop can sure be tough sometimes! Even though our co-operative often really doesn't feel like a 'company' to us - Come As You Are feels like a way-of-life, not an incorporated entity! - the administrative side of running a co-op can sometimes be really fun, but sometimes the sheer amount of work involved in running this place can get you down. Such is life!

But here's the thing - you folks transformed today into a really great day for me. Today should have been terrible - it should have been just the worst - but luckily, I got/had to cover a shift in mail order, and I got to email and talk with so many of you and you were all just the nicest, loveliest bunch of people I could've encountered.

Today could have been a day of heavy breathers and non-consensual telephone jerker-offers, but instead every customer (I hesitate to call you customers, because it isn't really about the buying, right?) I interacted with today had awesome questions or just really interesting things to say - even the fellow (who shall remain nameless for confidentiality reasons) who was having troubles with Canada Post delivering his order was so incredibly courteous and said such nice things about Come As You Are that it truly made my day, and probably my week. Similarly, my email interaction about the legal designations of vibrators (see more here tomorrow on this) was equally flattering and just the nicest. Also, one of our favourite special-order-only customers called today, and I always enjoy those chats.

Anyhow, you folks thank us all the time for doing good work, and I just wanted to thank all of you for making it so worthwhile.

Canada's Red Light District?

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We know this will totally turn out to be a vodka ad. We first noticed posters for the Naught Canada Coalition in our Queen West neighbourhood and we'd be tempted to take it at face value, but frankly, this campaign is so slick, we're not totally buying it. Sex work is work folks, and we're really hoping this is legit otherwise it is totally terrible.

The Internet's Very Own Red-Light District

Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The Internet is finally getting an officially sanctioned red-light district! The reality of the XXX domain will probably be a cash grab as folks in the sex industry snap up domains to protect their brands, but there's something appealing about the domain too. If folks kept porn only at .xxx domains (much as porn was segregated voluntarily in usenet back in the day) it would be somewhat easier to keep it away from minors at least. It will be interesting to see who winds up using these domains and if they become at all popular - ICANNs last batch of new domains didn't do so well, after all.

Get Gay! The Pride Sale

Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

If buying Canadian wasn't your thing yesterday, you're in luck because today and for the entire weekend, we're celebrating Pride with our annual Pride sale! Whether you're stocking up for the weekend or hanging low and shopping online, we're offering 10% off our entire selection of LGBT books and DVDs! From the educational to the erotic, we've got it here for you and on the cheap too.

Check out our selection of queer and trans erotica, educational books and DVDs on sale!

Would a queef by any other name smell as sweet?

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We've never gotten our sex tips from Cosmo or Glamour - and we're certainly not going to start now - but we seem to share a similar complaint about the language of sexuality. This list of 'new' names for old sex acts bothers me less than the wave of contrived 'new' sex acts (each designed to be somehow more offensive or just plain gross than the last and suited more for porn and gossip than actually getting off) and there are definitely great sex acts saddled with names that some folks don't like.

While the replacements suggested in this post aren't the sexiest or particularly catchy, and the vocabulary routinely introduced by Dan Savage (Santorum for example) is mostly politically motivated rather than pleasure motivated, both of these 'projects' underscore the need for a new language of sex.

The Oh-Oh Canada Day Sale

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0400

If sex in a canoe isn't quite your thing, but you are looking to have some great Canadian sex, here's your chance to get in on the action and do something great for your local sex toys makers at the same time! In addition to our usual awesome free Canadian shipping, we're giving you three made-in-Canada sex toys for the price of two!

Here's how it works: add any three made in Canada sex toys, books or DVDs to your cart and one will be automatically discounted to $0.

As is the case with these things, the lowest priced item is free!

Not sure if the vibe you're coveting is Canadian? All products on our website are marked with a handy maple leaf to let you know it was made in Canada. Also, check out our page of Canadian sex toys, books and DVDs.

The Riot Police Lap Dance

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

There were so few good things about this past weekend in Toronto, so it is nice to stumble upon something so terrific. Check out the G20 police lapdance below!

This Way to Your Sexuality

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Come As You Are was at the Guelph Sexuality Conference last week, being held at the University. I drove our awesome outreach & co-op purchasing program co-ordinator Charlotte down, only to find that the campus was a mess of arrows pointing every which way to get to registration. I almost lost it (no pun intended), until I found this hilarious sandwich board which I interpreted as either a) which way to take my sexuality, or b) how to find my sexuality. If only it were that simple.

Binder Bucks Binders in time for Pride

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Do you have a used but wearable binder you don't need anymore? Come As You Are is collecting used chest binders for our binder recycling program! For every binder you send us or bring to our Toronto store, we'll give you a $10 gift certificate you can spend on anything at Come As You Are in-store or online.

We're now also distributing the binders we've been collecting. All of our binder bucks binders are clean and wearable pre-loved binders. Each pre-loved binder costs $5 and goes to subsidize the collection of more used binders for other folks who need them! Our collection is small, but we have a good range of sizes available.

The Wall - The Things People Send Us

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Disclaimer: This is a series where we post the awesome and ridiculous things people randomly send/mail/fax us. One of our most important values is being worthy of your trust and we'll never post any information you entrust us with. The only items we will post here are ones that were clearly intended for public consumption and are so awesome that we just had to share!

This item was faxed to us by an anonymous admirer - I believe they mass-fax sex shops in response to mainstream media coverage of topics related to sex and I'm pretty sure we've received other items from this person. The thing I love about this particular missive is that it details a list of alternatives to 'female Viagra' (some of which we might even suggest ourselves!) from body kissing to masturbation to the mutual application of Preparation H. Terrific!

Getting it on during the G20 - Our G20 Sale

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

If you're not spending this weekend protesting the G20 meetings in Toronto, you may be planning on spending your weekend as far away from Toronto as possible! Well, either way, we're always working harder to make sex easier and we'll be open all weekend as usual. Rest assured! The only barriers we'll be helping folks erect will be of the latex variety!

With The New Yorker and the world's attention on Canada this weekend, we thought we'd take the opportunity to introduce the world to 20 of the best sex toys Canada has to offer and at the best price we have to offer! Even better, for everyone staying in or out of the security zone this weekend, we deliver!

Butt Magazine Beach Towels

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

I would summarize this myself, but Fleshbot did it so much better than I could:

Our favorite hipster gays have joined forces with our favorite misogynist hipster scumbags and are releasing a special line of five special edition beach towels for gay pride weekend. We don't know who came up with this idea, but they ought to start getting paid a hell of a lot more.

New Fleshlight, Fun Factory and more

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We're constantly striving to bring you the best of the best new sex toys available in Canada and across the world! A long, long time ago, Fleshlight was known not only for their superior men's masturbation sleeves, but they also made a line of silicone dildos before it was fashionable to do so. Much to our pleasure, Fleshlight has dipped their collective toe (and other various extremities) and have brought us a new silicone replica of one of the Visconti triplets of porn fame. Very exciting. Check out the new stuff from Fleshlight and more below!

FleshJack Boys Visconti
We don't usually go in for the pornstar replica dildos, but for Fleshlight FleshJack we made an exception. Made of firmer silicone for a more intense experience, Fleshlight has modeled this particular dildo after Jason Visconti (of the Visconti triplets) and my-oh-my, does it ever look realistic. This dildo could be used in conjunction with a harness, but it isn't ideal for harness use due to its large base. | more

Fleshlight FleshJack STU
Something nice, new and shiny for the guys who like guys who want to like guys longer! Previously only available in 'lady' style, the Fleshlight FleshJack STU (Stamina Training Unit) is an extra bumpy Fleshlight sleeve intended to help fellows train to maintain an erection for longer and to help guys get sensitized to different kinds of stimulation. Great fun too! | more

Fun Factory Spring
Bursting onto the scene like Spring itself, Fun Factory's Spring rechargeable vibrator features Fun Factory's Click-N-Charge magnetic charging technology to provide a full waterproof vibrator experience. Finally, you can fully submerge your silicone vibrator for versatility in use and ease of cleaning! Oh, yeah, it also has total variable speed vibration with push-controls and multi-mode vibration just like the battery operated version. The Fun Factory Spring is an excellent clitoral vibrator, but with a little maneuvering, can also provide some great internal stimulation too! | more

Fun Factory The Boss G3
Show 'em who's boss with one of the strongest Fun Factory battery-powered vibrators! Part of Fun Factory's G3 series, The Boss is made of soft, velvety silicone and it is a really lovely semi-realistic toy with curves in all of the right places. Fully waterproof, The Boss is hypoallergenic, phthalate-free and easy to clean too. | more

Fuze Halo
With a great bulb-to-stem ratio for awesome stay-putted-ness, The Fuze Halo is a larger version of the Fuze Whirl. The Halo features ridges through the toy's bulb for a more textured experience. Not only are all Fuze plugs made of hypoallergenic silicone, but their handy-dandy base ring can serve as a handle or can hold your favourite mini vibe (not included). Comes complete with re-usable storage tube! | more

Gay Sex Deck
The Gay Sex Deck is here! Cards are divided into three sections: foreplay, full sex and sex play, and illustrate and explain positions, new fantasies to try and how to go about acting them out, massage techniques, and much more. Great for new couples, those who are looking to expand their sexual repertoire, or just those looking to open up a healthy dialogue about their sex life. Cute illustrations as well as text on the opposite side that breaks it all down for you. | more

Glyde Vegan Condoms 12 Pack
Our favourite vegan condoms are back, and they're here to stay! Glyde condoms are famous amongst vegans and vegetarians, but they're also super popular because of their form-fitting condoms. Glyde vegan condoms come in Slim Fit, Ultra or Maxi for a good fit where other condoms just don't. For a snugger fit, try Glyde Slim fit (49 mm), or Glyde Ultra (53 mm). If you're looking for something a bit roomier, try Glyde Maxi (56 mm). | more

Lil Teaser
Lil Teaser definitely does more than tease! This smaller g-spot vibrator is fully waterproof, silicone and phthalate-free. Single speed, the Lil Teaser has a larger switch with loads of possibilities for folks looking for an easy-to-use and easy-to-adapt vibrator. Good for g-spot or external play! | more

Position of the Month Club - Spooning

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Welcome to the Come As You Are Sex Position of the Month Club! This month we'll take a closer look at the spooning sex position - a kind of side-by-side sex. Demonstrated beautifully by the talented, gender-ambiguous couple "A + B", the spooning position is a really great position to get close to your lover, and can be less physically strenuous than partner-on-top style positions.

Here's how to do it: Lying on a spaceous surface like the bed or the floor, both partners should be lying on their side with the partner doing the penetrating spooning their partner (pictured).

Although this position allows for a lot of physical contact between the partners, movement can be limited, and moving in concert with your partner can allow for more active penetration.

The Spooning sex position is ideal when a wide range of movement isn't ideal, and can be very comfortable during pregnancy (although consider avoiding lying on the right side after the first trimester).

Additionally, the spooning position causes less strain on the body, and is also a nice option for folks looking to change-up power dynamics during sex!

Mad About American Apparel's Hiring Practices? Call Dov!

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Once upon a time there was so much to love about American Apparel. Well, there was the seemingly sweatshop-free cotton goods, and the... oh maybe that was it. Well, after years of accusations of sexual harassment and often over-the-line creepy porny advertising, American Apparel is, of course, being accused of discrimination in hiring. Shockingly, Dov Charney and company are said to hire store employees based on beauty and this is evidenced in former employee testimonial and the company's requirement for job applicants to submit a full body photo with their application. Sigh.

Initially, there was something kind of appealing about American Apparel's outward and explicit sexuality - possibly because it is so totally opposite to the co-operative culture at Come As You Are. Come As You Are is all about boundaries. My favourite CAYA inside jokes are about our parties ending promptly at 9:30PM before anything inappropriate could possibly happen, and about how we tend to wave at each other more than we hug or shake hands. Well, sometimes we high-five too! We're really not into the professional come on.

American Apparel says that they hire based on personal style and that's not discriminatory. I'd like to think that labour policy works a little differently in Canada (and I'm probably mostly wrong in my idealism here) but it strikes me that what AA does is perfectly compatible with how labour rights and anti-discrimination works in the US. That is, how does Hooters even exist in the face of anti-discrimination law? If Hooters is any indication, AA is merely typical in their hiring practices.

In a press release, AA gave our CEO's Dov Charney's phone number, but there is no answer and voicemail doesn't work, but I would keep trying. The conversation to be had could be awesome. Ultimately, I don't think AA thinks there's anything wrong with how they do business and they probably think they're actually groundbreaking in making sex part of their corporate culture, but really, they're actually just reverting to the model we're all trying so hard to break.

Be sure to check out the American Able ad series Jes Sachse did a little while back.

More info: [American Apparel] [American Able]

'Walk of Shame'?

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Check out this cute comic that one of our staff members found today:

It’s interesting to think of the ‘morning after’ as something that is shameful. Personally, I feel like it’s kind of an awesome thing – there are many good things tied to it (I’m thinking caesars and bruch). Even though we all have our fair share of what might feel like regrets, the walk of shame should, in fact, be more of a walk of accomplishment. I’m a big fan of notches in bedposts.

Buck Angel Uncensored

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Join us on Sunday, June 27th for Buck Angel's totally uncensored workshop! Buck Angel will discuss the ups and downs of ushering a new genre of porn into the adult entertainment industry. How he started in the business and then the pitfalls, obstacles, and joys along the way. This is a rare opportunity to hear Buck Angel speak about his rise to fame in the porn film industry, his work as a pioneer in the adult entertainment world and his commitment to pushing the boundaries of sexuality everywhere.

Learn more about Buck, register for Buck Angel Uncensored or view our selection of Buck Angel DVDs

Skip the rest and go for the best... erotica!

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Selecting erotica that's right for you is as difficult as choosing a new toy. Reviews are always subjective, and novels are pretty hit or miss. Fortunately, our favourite erotica editors know what its like, and our shelves are always packed with best of the best anthology collections. Erotic anthologies come in a variety of flavours: some focus on a particular sex act or type of sex (like BDSM or anal erotica); some collections are grouped loosely around orientation or gender (like the 'Best Women's Erotica' series); and then some erotic anthologies are thematic (like Cowboys).

This week, we're so pleased to present the 2010 editions of The Best Lesbian Erotica and The Best Women's Erotica 2010 which are both excellent additions to both long running series, and The Best Sex Writing 2010 which isn't strictly erotica, but also isn't strictly un-erotic either - it is one of our favourite books in our 'brain sex' collection. We've finally posted Original Plumbing #2 online and #3 should be out soon too, so keep your eyes peeled!

Here's what's new in books this week at Come As You Are:

Best Lesbian Erotica 2010
Perhaps the best collection of today's outstanding lesbian erotica. Stories of a seductive cupcake-shop femme, two lovers producing classic pin-up porn for each other, one-off trysts between two butches, and a deliciously dirty text message relationship that ends up being more than the participants bargained for make this edition definitely one to pick up. A great collection of a bunch of different types of stories, all written well and impossible to put down. $19.95 | more

Best of Best Women's Erotica 2
A great collection of well-written erotic tales written from a women's perspective, Best of Best 2 illustrates deep, dark desires including blowjobs on trains, dirty talking with strangers, and much more. A variety of different types of stories to satisfy anyone's taste. $19.95 | more

Best Sex Writing 2010
Best Sex Writing falls in line with previous years' editions - throught-provoking, entertaining and educational essays on 25 topics directly relating to sex. This year's topics include first-time swinging experiences, the sexual aspect of the Twilight saga, teen sexting, a straight man obsessed with having sex and relationships with lesbians, and much much more. Always a great read. $18 | more

Best Women's Erotica 2010
Back again with the newest edition, Best Women's Erotica promises to be the most racy volume yet. Juicy tales of vegetable garden sex, a female cop forcing a flirty male collegue to strip in the line-up room, a sexy shoe shine from a stranger and much more. Dirty and explicit without being too raunchy. An excellent collection of 18 great erotic stories. $19.95 | more

Original Plumbing Issue 2
When we heard the there was going to be a new zine created for, and made by, FTM trans guys, it caught our attention to say the least. When we finally had a chance to take a look at it, we were absolutely thrilled with the results. Original Plumbing features hot, full-colour photos of diverse models, witty, humourous and interesting interviews, and much more. This zine is flying off our shelves, and for very good reason. Published quarterly. $8 | more

Sometimes She Lets Me
You know what they say about how opposites attract, and sometimes the strongest attraction can be between butches and femmes. Sometimes She Lets Me is a collection of the best butch/femme erotica out there on the market. Stories include "Tag" where two lovers play the game naked in the woods and find eachother by scent; "Homecoming Queen" in which members of different high school cliques meet up by chance for a little role play; and the super-charged "Roulette", which tells of a powerful, manipulative femme schooling patrons at a rough butch bar. $18.50 | more

Transgender History
Written in an informative yet extremely readable format, Transgender History traces back the ups and downs of trans rights and movements over the last half century. Discusses underground scenes, political changes, stand-out figures, health care battles, acceptance in different communities, and much more. A great intro to trans studies for anyone! $19.95 | more

What do Seinfeld and Annie Sprinkle have in common?

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

There's something for (almost) everyone this week in DVDs. No matter how you look at it, Annie Sprinkle has had one of the most remarkable sex careers of the modern era. With the uncut and remastered release of Annie's classic Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle her true fans can revel in 3 full discs of Annie bliss.

We haven't been able to resist the wave of XXX parodies that have flooded the market lately, and Seinfeld XXX was no exception - it has a good home amongst the Scrubs and The Office porn parodies. Porn Wars has gone well beyond the parody and is a phenomenon in it's own right and the saga continues in Porn Wars Episode 2. Don't miss Courtney Trouble's Roulette or Penny Flame's new Expert Guide.

Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle Uncut Edition DVD
The deluxe version of Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle is here! 3 discs featuring a digitally remastered version of the original film including the cut "golden shower" scene not available to the public until now. Also included is a full length commentary by Annie, Q&A interview, bonus scenes, the original trailer, a 24 page colour booklet, and last but certainlty not least, an Annie Sprinkle finger puppet. What more could you ask for? $45 | more

Expert Guide to Rough Sex DVD
Sometimes the best way to spice things up in your sex life is to learn how to push your sexual boundaries while respecting each other's limits, and Penny Flame does just that in the newest edition of the Expert Guide series. In the same style as other DVDs in the series, the upbeat way that information is presented makes learning fun--you might even forget that you're watching an educational movie! Learn different types of slaps, what parts of the body to hit (and parts to steer clear of), hair pulling techniques, bondage, communication including dirty talk, establishing safe words and boundaries and much more. Three sex scenes follow, demonstrating a variety of power play situations and even games couples can play together. Heterosexual focus. $35 | more

Porn Wars Episode 2 DVD
Love the first episode of Porn Wars and just want more? Porn Wars 2 is another installment of great sex and great graphics, with a feeling that the actors are really enjoying what they are doing. Big budget and high action infused with sex and CGI equals a "force" to be reckoned with. $29 | more

Roulette DVD
Queer sex is as hard to define as it is to ignore. Roulette is a series of sex scenes, music videos, short art films, and more. Each short is directed by a different person, yet everything seems to fit quite nicely together. No rules, just real sex with a very diverse cast. From Courtney Trouble and the folks at nofauxxx.com. $35 | more

Seinfeld XXX DVD
With a bang-on set, ridiculously cheesy jokes and a perfect cast, Seinfeld XXX is another gem in the porn parody genre. It really couldn't have been done much better. A great variety of different sex acts and intensity abound. $35 | more

World Naked Bike Ride 2010 Toronto

Sun, 13 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

What happens when Toronto Photo Walks and World Naked Bike Ride 2010 collide? Photos, of course!

Being Proud of Pride

Sat, 12 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Unlike many, some of us at Come As You Are have been following the recent controversies at Pride Toronto with a great deal of excitement! There's been a terrific amount of media attention paid to Pride Toronto's censorship of the words 'Israeli Apartheid' at this year's Pride and thus the group Queers Against Israeli Apartheid will also be banned from marching in the parade.

Regardless of how you feel about Middle East politics generally, this is an incredible discussion to be happening at Pride Toronto this year. There's no debate that Pride began as a political act and Pride celebrations in North America and across the world absolutely have activist origins, but the political nature of Pride here in Toronto has been systematically swept away in favour of the big gay party we're familiar with. The interesting part to me is that anyone was surprised that Pride has become apolitical. The exciting part is that folks are now opening questioning and challenging Pride's mandate.

Like many communities who've experienced a great deal of oppression and discrimination, there has often been pressure to quiet down the dissenters within the community to present a unified front against oppression. The open dissent against Pride Toronto suggests to me that queers (at least in Toronto) have settled into the basic rights that have been won over the past four decades, and are now ready to challenge each other and the world.

If Pride wants to be an apolitical organization, that's just fine! There's nothing wrong with throwing a giant gay party once a year - but call it what it is: a party. If folks want Toronto Pride to be political again, they'll have to drop the fancy sponsors and their thick, uh, wallets.

Tell Me What You Want Workshop with Laura Antoniou

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

What You Really, Really Want
With Laura Antoniou
Often, when we try to tell our partners what we like or want, those words are filtered through things like expectations, projection, fear, shame and verbal shortcuts. Expand your creativity and verbal skills beyond "I like flogging" or " anything you want" through an interactive game and exercise. Learn how creative communication and courageous risk-taking can make your relationship and play more intimate, satisfying and fun. Say what you mean, and mean what you say - and make it flirtatious and seductive!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 7:30 – 9:30pm (People of all genders welcome.)
Where: Come As You Are
Cost:$30/person (Sliding Scale Available)

[more info]

You Did What? Getting Close and Personal in Public - Toronto Sun

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Sex on the beach isn’t merely a drink for Jane. Though she’s tipsy, she’s sober enough to kiss her boyfriend wildly at a friend’s house party. She whispers in his ear, “Let’s get out of here,” and the couple hand-in-hand make footprints for the nearby beach. As they near the shore and the crashing waves, they collapse onto the wet sand and laugh devilishly as they roll around together, lips still locked. Clothes start to disappear and fade into the darkness around them.

On Being Trans and Topless in America

Sun, 06 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Oh the complications of post-modern life. Apparently, some trans-identified people on a Delaware beach were questioned by authorities after some fellow beach-goers complained about their toplessness.

Unfortunately, the only thing more problematic than various archaic laws regarding public nudity is the media coverage this story has received.

Mostly disappointing is that these trans people are being consistently identified in the media as 'transmen' with breast implants. Now, I'm all for folks breaking with gender norms, but generally, folks who transition genders have surgery or take hormones to achieve an appearance consistent with the gender they identify with - in this case, these folks would most likely be transwomen.

I know that many of you would already know this, but the error in the original article and all subsequent articles suggests that at least in the media nobody understands trans people and even fewer know how trans folks identify.

From reading internet commentary on this matter, I know that some would see my pleading for accuracy as a request for 'sensitivity' from the general populace - some kind of demand for political correctness - but truly, if the mainstream media is going to comment on trans-identified people at all, they ought to be correct in their terminology at the very least.

If you're not trans yourself, or don't know anyone who is, it is understandable that this stuff might be confusing, but in not trying to understand, the coverage of this thing has just become a mess of misinformation.

Next time, we'll tackle archaic nudity laws :) Fortunately, someone in Toronto must have foreseen the practical difficulties in enforcing topless laws by gender, so I hereby invite all transmen and transwomen with or without breast implants to sun themselves on our beautiful beaches.

[AP]

Art Opening Tonight - Annanda DeSilva

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Join us this evening at Come As You Are for the opening of Annanda DeSilva's Indelible Femme art show!

Lust, daydreams, voyeurism, self-defense and period stains; Fishnets, dazed pigeons and the ever-revered bushy mons all come together in a spicy stew of vivid colours, layering the glitter and grime of our city lives. Indelible Femme lays out all the sass, lumps, bedroom eyes and megaphone-moans for your eyes only, rendered in a mixture of acrylic, oil pastel, collage and sequins.

June 1 - June 30
Art Opening: June 3, 2010, 7 - 9pm.

Pee Free - Finding Accessible Washrooms with Foursquare

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Has anyone else noticed how difficult it is to find a public washroom in Toronto? This may seem like an odd question for a sex shop blog to be asking, but it may surprise you to know that aside from our great customer service, high-quality toys, and educational approach to sex retail, we're also well known for our washroom at 701 Queen Street West.

So, what's so special about our washroom?

Well, before you get any racy ideas about the Come As You Are washroom, I should tell you that our washroom is primarily known as being one of the only truly public washrooms on this stretch of Queen West (that is, we don't make you buy something to use it) and further, it is the only public gender-neutral accessible washroom on West Queen West. Wow.

I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging because mostly it is just terrible that we're the only one. This is kind of like when Good Vibrations privatized and we became the world's only co-operative sex shop by default - I mean, it sounds nice, but it is not like we did anything extra to earn the title. In fact, we wish there were more co-op sex shops AND public accessible washrooms!

So, what do you do when you're not hanging around Queen West in Toronto and you need to find a washroom? Well, as is the new norm, there's an app for that! Using the information submitted by users to Foursquare, folks have built an app to help you locate washrooms near you. Even better - when they have the information, they indicate whether the washroom is accessible.

I know it seems like I'm giving a lot of attention to Foursquare lately - despite my obvious privacy concerns - but as with all technology, sometimes the usefulness can be more important than the sacrifice. In the case of the Pee Free app, you don't have to be on Foursquare to use it, and you don't need to give a lot of information about yourself - just where you're looking for a washroom.

There's a free, ad-supported version and a paid version available for Android currently, and it should be coming to the iPhone soon.

Has anyone had a chance to play with this new app? Please do let me know what your experiences with it have been like!

[Pee Free]

Super Sexy Heimlich?

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Yes! Saving lives is hot! We knew that Super Sexy CPR would have a follow up, and indeed, Super Sexy Abdominal Thrusts is here in this spot for a Canadian lingerie company.

Between black & white: A Portrait of Transgender Toronto

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Between black & white: A Portrait of Transgender Toronto by award-winning Toronto photographer, Tanja-Tiziana, will launch at The Raging Spoon on June 10th, 2010. Featuring large-scale black & white portraits of local transgender and trans-identified people in a series that celebrates their individuality, humanity and pride.

Art opening party: Thursday, June 10th, 2010, 7-11pm
The Raging Spoon (761 Queen St West)
Come see, celebrate, and raise a glass. DJ Dreidel spins all evening.

Exhibit runs through July.

View more images on [Facebook]

Masturbation on TFO

Mon, 31 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Check out this segment from TFO's Volt about masturbation. This video features our favourite sex and bondage expert, Midori and a nice tour of Come As You Are's masturbatory offerings courtesy of TFO's Fabienne L'Abbé. Yes, apparently today is sexe en français day at CAYA.

McDonald's Come As You Are spot

Mon, 31 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

I'm sure embedding anything having to do with McDonald's in the Come As You Are Blog is contrary to most of our core values, but I couldn't help myself.

There's a lot of 'Come As You Are' out in the world - from dobermans to Christians to Nirvana to this lovely co-operative sex shop I've heard of - but this McDonald's ad has something we don't share with others: Venez tels quels (or Venez comme vous êtes, as it were.)

When we launched our website and retail store en français, we agonized over our French name almost more than anything else. We really didn't want to be one of those anglo retailers who forces others to speak English if you wish to refer to them at all, and it was important that our work in Quebec be available and easy in both languages.

Years later, we no longer have that sweet little shop on St-Laurent, but we're still able to offer workshops and support in Montreal, and we still offer customer service, educational and erotic books, and a French website at www.veneztelsquels.com. Speaking of which, look for a new, revamped Venez tels quels in the months to come.

Sex Research & You - To Lube or Not to Lube

Sun, 30 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Sex research is a little like gay/trans/intersexed people appearing on Oprah - we kind of can't help but tune in, but more often than not, the results are super disappointing at best, and disrespectful, misleading and dangerous at worst. This latest bit of sex research certainly adheres to that metaphor.

This research has yet to be published, but according to the LA Times, in this study the folks who used lubricant during anal sex were more likely to get a rectal infection.

Yikes, right? Okay, well, don't put your lube bottle (or butt plug) down quite yet.

Does anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that the folks who have and use lube might possibly be having more anal sex than the non-lube using people? More ass-sex is going to equal more exposure to ass-related-infections no matter how you look at it.

Also, folks practicing safer anal sex (i.e. using condoms) may not use lubricant as much because their condoms come lubricated, and perhaps lube-using barebackers make it look a bit like the lube is the problem.

I know, I know, my deductive, assumptive speculation is probably worse than the hyperbolic conclusions of the research itself, so I'll stop speculating and get to the things we know to be at least a bit true.

With few exceptions, the ass does not lubricate itself! To avoid doing damage or causing rectal pain, use lube.
Avoid lubricants that contain desensitizing ingredients. If you can't feel what's going on, you won't be able to prevent injury.
If you're not using silicone toys, consider a silicone lubricant. They're extremely gentle, hypoallergenic and they are great at preventing friction. Also, silicone lubes are great with condoms!
If your lubricant is causing irritation, consider an organic lubricant or one with fewer ingredients.

For sex nerds like us who are always hungry for new information about sexuality, this study - or the conclusions being drawn from it - are pretty depressing. We know from reading, fucking and talking to our customers and actual sex experts, that too much friction during anal sex can lead to tearing, and we know that open wounds lead can to greater exposure to virus and bacteria, so to witness a message like 'don't use lube during ass sex' being spread is pretty scary.

We don't have all of the answers - it's one of our values! - but we encourage you to get all of the information you can; think as critically as you can; and use lube!

LA Times

Learning from Lingerie - Super Sexy CPR

Fri, 28 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

After attending First Aid/CPR classes for Come As You Are, I felt capable of basically placing a blanket on our underneath a person, but frankly, I didn't retain much else. Fortunately, workplace accidents don't happen around here much, and usually, when they do, they happen to me! I've noticed a good portion of the comments about Super Sexy CPR have been along the lines of 'if only i'd seen that CPR video in school, i would've paid attention!' but I can almost guarantee that the CPR instruction is probably the last thing you'll remember about this video.

Super Sexy CPR from Super Sexy CPR on Vimeo.

Chris Ablett Photography - Sitting

Sat, 29 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Come As You Are friend, frequent visitor and almost in-house artist Chris Ablett has been sharing his erotic art knowledge and skill with the CAYA community for years with his erotic photography workshops and his packed Erotic Blender shows. Parts of his new series of self-portraits have graced our walls in the past, and now his series has its own website and Chris has a accompanying Facebook page for his fans and admirers of his work.

Read more about Chris Ablett or view his collection "Sitting" on Chris' website.

Bruce LaBruce on Will Munro

Tue, 25 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

In Penis Pokey, YOU are the star

Thu, 27 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Maybe we're being nit-picky, but has the best erotica of 2010 even been written yet?!? If they called it The Best Women's Erotica 2009 it would be confusing and wouldn't feel current, but still... In any case, we've got a couple of new Best Of 2010 collections this week - because anthologies are still the best way to get your erotic feet wet - and a new version of a "book" near and dear to the hearts of many at Come As You Are (because in Penis Pokey, YOU are the star - which is what we've been saying for years.)

Get Rough Sex on the Crash Pad when you join The Ultimate Fucking Club

Tue, 25 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

What's the first rule of Buck Angel's Ultimate Fucking Club? Tell all your friends about it, of course! This month's crop of new DVDs is coincidentally thematic - we've got five incredible (and hot!) new titles from some of Come As You Are's favourite sex educators and pornstars. From Buck Angel to Tristan Taormino to Midori, May is proving to be particularly lucky, at least when it comes to DVDs.

Rough Sex DVD
Rough Sex, directed by Tristan Taormino, features five scorching scenes between couples who like their sex with a little edge. Each scene starts with the actors talking about how they learned that they enjoyed harder sex, how they like it in their real lives, and why they chose their partner that they are performing with. Scenes contain slapping, spitting and dirty talk, yet an excellent balance of trust, communication, and consent is maintained that adds to the sensuality and eroticism of the scene. Well shot with a great cast, viewers really get the feeling that the actors are into what they are doing and truly enjoying themselves while treating us to a collection of great scenes. No girl/girl, no threesomes. | more

| $35.00

Local co-operative seeks mayor

Wed, 26 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

If you ever wanted to be part of a worker-owned co-operative, but weren't so much into the 'work' part of worker-owner, here's an opportunity to experience all of the pride of ownership without all the pesky work! In conjunction with the now-available-in-Canada Foursquare, Come As You Are is offering rewards for checking in at our Toronto store, and an even better treat for the Mayor of our fine establishment!

Love it or hate it (I won't say which side I'm on) social networking exists and can sometimes be pretty awesome. If you've read my flurry of posts about internet privacy here, you probably already know that Come As You Are is all about being worthy of trust, and we genuinely think all businesses (and governments!) have a similar obligation to their patrons - whether they observe that obligation or not. Since we mostly can't trust organizations to keep our secrets, we need to do everything we can to protect our own privacy, right?

With that disclaimer in place, Foursquare is a smartphone-dependent app that allows you to 'check-in' at the places you visit and lets you let your Foursquare 'friends' know where you are. The more places you check-in at, the more 'badges' you receive and if you check-in somewhere more than anyone else, you are proclaimed Mayor! Fun!

We like fun! And even more, we like when you have fun! So, if you happen to be on Foursquare, check-in next time you come to visit us and we'll hook you up with something good.

Get Good Clean Love...on the Cheap

Wed, 19 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

If you're already a big fan or if you've yet to experience the genuinely all-natural, independently manufactured awesomeness that is Good Clean Love, now is the time to stock up! Good Clean Love will soon look a little different: new packaging and a slight change in ingredients is coming down the line, and we've got to make a little room on our shelves before it arrives. Get your cheap thrill on, and check out these incredible deals on Good Clean Love lube, massage oil and massage candles!

good clean love at Come As You Are

Good Clean Love Lube
Even the filthy dirty can use a little Good Clean Love from time to time! Made from organically sourced ingredients, this paraben-free lube comes in unusual, but delicious flavours. Good Clean Lube water-based personal lubricant is totally condom compatible, vegan and free of petro-chemicals.

Ingredients: de-ionized water, agar, aloe barbadensis leaf juice, xanthan gum, organic flavour, organic vegetable glycerin, glucose, glucose oxidase, lactoperioxidase, benzoic acid
| more

| $12.00 , Reduced from $18.00

good clean love at Come As You Are

Good Clean Love Massage Candle
Give (or receive) a hot oil massage the natural and easy way! Good Clean Love Massage Candles melt at a lower temperature than regular candles so you can use the melted oil for a hot massage without worrying about getting burned. All of Good Clean Love candles are made with soybean oil, coconut oil, hemp-seed oil, avocado oil, apricot oil, jojoba oil, vitamin E and exotic blends of essential oils. Non-toxic and vegan. | more

| $12.00 , Reduced from $18.00

good clean love at Come As You Are

Good Clean Love Oil 4oz
Made of pure and often organic essential oils, Good Clean Love Oil is a particularly sensuous and natural way to decrease friction between bodies, and to help heal and nourish skin. All Good Clean Love oils are made with apricot kernel oil, organic jojoba oil and Vitamin E.

Ingredients: apricot kernal oil, organic jojoba oil, vitamin e antioxident formula, exotic blend of essential oils
| more

| $14.00 , Reduced from $20.00

good clean love at Come As You Are

Thanks for coming out to our recruitment party

Mon, 17 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Wow! You folks sure know how to rock a job fair! Thank you so much to all of the folks who came out last night for Come As You Are's first recruitment party. Big thanks to the current hiring committee for putting the whole thing together and for spending their weekend making beautiful cupcakes for us to enjoy.

Annanda collected some of what the current workers and worker-owners had to say about their work here at Come As You Are, and did an awesome job writing out our blurbs, and put them together so nicely in the store. Come by today to check them out, or take a look at the photos we posted.

We'll be sorting through all of the applications we received and we'll get in touch with potential interviewees soon! If you came by last night but didn't get all of the information you needed, or all of our answers about co-operatives provoked more questions, get in touch.

Thanks again to everyone who organized the evening and everyone who came to see us!

Come As You Are’s Cooperative Recruitment Party

Tue, 11 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Come and join us for an evening of meeting, greeting and learning about Come as You Are culture. (Oh and cup-cakes too!) We want to hear from you! Bring your questions and curiosity and have them answered honestly and frankly! Learn what it means to be a worker owned cooperative, what its like to talk about sex all day, what our core values are and how that affects our culture. Lastly and importantly, tell us in person why would like to work here and how you think your unique personality would add to our co-op. When: Sunday, May 16, 2010, 5-7PM Where: Come As You Are

Spring Showers Contest

Thu, 06 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Put some air in your tires and a spring in your step because it's springtime and we all know April showers bring...talk of female ejaculation! That much talked about and often debated phenomenon has the birds and the bees a buzzin'. Email us your favorite technique or ejaculation success or failure story to contests@comeasyouare.com by May 15th. We’ll share the stories (anonymously) on our blog. The winning entry will win the Lelo Ina and the DVD Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-spot.

Anonymous sex blogger discovered by boss, then fired

Tue, 04 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The internet: the solution, and cause, of all of life's problems! Recently, an American sex blogger - of the anonymous, but personally explicit variety - who had managed to keep her blog anonymous and secret to her employer, was fired when her employer discovered the blog. Apparently concerned about 'bad press', the non-profit fired the blogger and let her know that the blog was the reason. The firing isn't unusual in the world - people have been fired or denied employment for actions in their personal lives since employment was invented - but it is particularly interesting that the blogger was explicitly fired for keeping an anonymous sex blog.

The folks at Jezebel have covered this nicely, mostly focusing on whether the firing was actually a judgment of the worker's lifestyle. I'm not sure if the employer was actually concerned with PR or was just freaked out by the worker's sex life, and I'm not sure it matters that much.

I don't want to freak folks out, but it almost goes without saying that anything posted online or sent in an email has the potential to be made public. Between Facebook's ever changing privacy policies, occasional accidental public revelations of users' private data, the proliferation of hackers, and people's terrible password choices, it doesn't seem that anything online can ever been absolutely secure or private.

Our current moment in time may one day be recalled by history ebooks (or even nano-mind-books) as 'the age of the internet' but perhaps it will be recalled as 'the great coming out'. Queer folks are coming out voluntarily more than ever, and the sex secrets of mostly straight politician are also been pulled (less voluntarily) into the open, and if the secrets of everyday folks are at risk of exposure too, well, they can't fire all of us for having a sex life, can they?

Spring Newsletter

Wed, 05 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

This newsletter marks the beginning of our co-operative’s 13th year in existence. In some ways it seems like only yesterday that we first opened our doors (and six months later launched our first website). But it also feels like a long, long time ago. Much has changed and much has remained the same. When you’re a member of a co-operative every part of doing business is a little different than when you work at a regular undemocratic business.

With undemocratic businesses they’re always trying to project some corporate identity. Often it’s a projection of the oversized ego of the owner. Sometimes it comes directly from a marketing brain trust. But a co-op is its members. We’re regular folks who are lucky enough to, at least in our work, control our own destiny. It makes the co-op feel more like a human being than a brand identity. And this means that, just like other humans, we’re always changing and growing.

And now we’re a teenager! We’re not looking forward to the reduced sexual rights and respect that we know is coming our way during our teen years, but we are looking forward to seven years of intense introspection, wild imaginations, and discovering so many new things about ourselves and all of you.

We’re now half way through sharing our core values with you, and this newsletter we’re featuring the two that may be most descriptive of who we are.

Core Value #3: No Come Ons

We value information over sales, so we don’t come on to our customers. We believe you can talk about sex without resorting to titillation or hucksterism. While we appreciate sleaze as much as the next sex shop, it’s not what we do at Come As You Are. To make good decisions -- healthy decisions -- we all need accurate information and freedom from pressure and social expectation. That's why we don’t do cheesy marketing ploys or fake come ons. What we do do is honest, up-to-date information.

Oh, and we promise not to hit on you and ask that you don't hit on us. We guarantee that the only sex objects in our store are the products on our walls.

Core Value #7: Create Nerdy Fun

At Come As You Are, we love that sex can be nerdy, silly, and a whole lot of fun.

Creating nerdy fun means not taking ourselves too seriously. With so many social restrictions and taboos around sexuality it's easy to forget that sex is a wonderful kind of adult play. We're all self-identified sex nerds and working in a sex shop offers limitless opportunities to make nerdy fun. We can't think of anything more fun than getting to spend our days talking, thinking, and writing about sexuality.

At the same time we're mindful that for most of us sex is complicated, and we never make fun, or use humour to diminish diverse sexual experiences. When it feels like someone's being left out, we know we're on the wrong track and it's time to start again.

Learn more about our co-operative values and CAYA culture on our website, www.comeasyouare.com.

Contact Photography Festival - Bird's Minute by Idios

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Bird's Minute, a photography exhibit in collaboration with the Contact Photography Festival.

Idios’ simultaneously sexy and disturbing portraits, of people who might be mistaken as feminine, mirror his respect and desire for them. He gives the viewer a glimpse of the performance and put-on involved in presenting femininity. In moments of lust, exclusion or rebellion, the dividing line between pride and shame, beauty and ugliness, strength and weakness becomes blurred.

Show runs from May 1st to 31st.
Art Opening: Saturday, May 1, 2010. 7pm - 10pm.

Anti-Pirate Porn Stars

Sun, 02 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Concerned about the rising popularity of Pirates and Pirates 2, America's porn stars have joined together to created this decidedly non-pornographic video discouraging the public from viewing pirate porn. There are growing concerns that the roaming masses of naked, unemployed Johnny Depp look-a-likes may resort to plundering and pillaging Silicone Valley. Hm, that doesn't sound quite right - maybe I ought to actually watch the video.

In all seriousness, these porn star PSA-style video features some of our favourite porn stars (from Joanna Angel to Ron Jeremy, but alas, no Belladonna) speaking out against the downloading of pirated porn. Put together by the Free Speech Coalition in the US, their message is essentially identical to the arguments put forward by the music industry over and by the cable/satellite providers in the pre-internet era.

As a retailer, it feels like we should be vehemently against the pirating of porn, but the ethical arguments are complicated, and it seems that there is a tangible different between theft (i.e. taking an item from someone, thus depriving them of that item) and copying (i.e. taking an item from someone, but not depriving them of that item). However, it is also easy to argue that copying deprives the creator (usually of money). If this is the argument the porn industry wants to rest on, they should also be speaking out against DVD rentals which similarly deprive the creator or producer of the funds that would be generated by a straight out sale of the DVD.

In any case, whether or not you think that downloading pirated porn is right or wrong, the porn industry is uniquely positioned in this fight. Porn popularized VHS back in the day (and DVDs more recently) mostly due to the ease with which one could copy porn illegally, but also because of the proliferation of adult video rental shops. Porn and sex most certainly played a huge role in popularizing the internet too, so it is odd to see the porn industry coming down hard on the media it basically created and popularized.

Watch the Free Speech Coalition videos. Via Wired

blog - Copy

Sat, 01 May 2010 12:37:00 -0400

Come As You Are's blog is the place where we offer our uncensored opinion on all things related to sex toys, sex and the media, sexual science and medicine, and the goings on of our Toronto sex shop and website.

New Sex Toys - Fun Factory, Tenga & More

Sat, 01 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Come As You Are's Spring newsletter has sprung, and along with it comes lots of brand new offerings from some of our favourite sex toy makers from around the world! Check out our selection of men's toys from Tenga, two new rechargeable vibes from Fun Factory and a whole mess of plugs from our friends at Fuze!

The Big Binder Sale

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Looking for a binder, compression vest or some great trans-focused porn? Boy, have we got a deal for you! We've got some major binder overstock happening in our basement (not to mention the occasional bumblebee!) and with summer close at hand, Come As You Are would like to encourage you to slip into something more comfortable. We're offering 15% off all in-stock binders and compression vests, and 15% off all items we've arbitrarily marked as 'trans' or FTM relevant.

We know binders can be expensive, and we want you to know that we honour value 9 (be generous) by bringing binders to you as inexpensively as possible by applying a robin hood-style approach to our pricing (you know, except for the 'stealing from the rich' bit) and much to our accountant's chagrin, we don't take a cut on the binders we carry. Even better, if you bring us your used, but wearable binder, we'll give you $10 in Binder Bucks that you can spend on anything at Come As You Are - except workshops (one of the many other things we do for free).

As an added bonus, because our website takes an all-or-nothing approach to discounts, we're offering 15% off all products we've somewhat arbitrarily marked as 'trans' or FTM relevant. The sale includes books, dvds and even packers! Remember folks, this is a while-supplies-last kind of sale and it ends May 15th, 2010!

Check out our selection of binders and packers and trans-focused DVDs and books.

Vegan Love

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

It has never been easy being green, and condom manufacturers haven't made being vegan any easier, until now! If you've been in or around CAYA over the past few years, you may remember those blissful days when our condom selection was bountiful, and vegan condoms were easy to come by (anyone remember those awesome tri-coloured condoms? how about the beloved, and still missed Pleasure Plus? Sigh. Those were the days...)

With big thanks to those brave souls who tackled the Health Canada condom registration process to bring these condoms into our fine country, we're incredibly happy to bring Glyde Vegan Condoms to the CAYA community in Toronto and all through Canada!

You may remember Glyde from their awesome latex dams (can I offer you something in cola?), but they're also known for making condoms that aren't manufactured using a milk protein, making them totally vegan. Perfect for the animal-lover in your life! Wait, that didn't come out right: Perfect for the person who loves animals, but not in that way.

In any case, Glyde condoms rock our proverbial house with their sizing options too! They offer a snugger fitting "slim fit" style, regular fit "ultra" and roomier "maxi" style. Additionally, the "ultra" style is available as a flavoured condom (sorry, no cola, but we do have licorice, strawberry, blueberry, wildberry and vanilla available). The unflavoured Glyde condoms are available in singles or packs of 12; Glyde flavoured vegan condoms are available in singles.

Check out our selection of Glyde Vegan Condoms.

How to make love en français

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

When we launched this new version of the Come As You Are website in the fall of 2009, we tried to maintain as much of the feel of the old site while integrating new features as seamlessly as possible. Unfortunately, in the shuffle, we lost a few links to our beloved French site Venez tels quels. We're so pleased to now have a link from the Come As You Are books portal to our fine selection of educational and erotic books en français.

New Men's Toys - Super Head Honcho and Vibratex Duet

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

This week we have a mini web update to catch up the folks online with what's been going on in store lately. We'll have a veritable party of new sex toys (including some gems from Fun Factory and Tenga), books and DVDs for you next week when our spring newsletter comes out, but in the meantime, here are a couple of new toys designed for men to tide you over!

The Sue Johanson endorsed Super Head Honcho has a lot going for it that comparable men's toys just don't have - especially at this price! We've tried hard to not hit you over the head with eco-sex marketing, but ever since we began discontinuing phthalate laden sex toys, it has become difficult to find suitable men's toys. Remarkably, the Super Head Honcho is a phthalate-free masturbation sleeve for men. With a textured interior and "suction compartments" provide good stimulation, and unlike a lot of similar sleeves, the Super Head Honcho has good deal of length and isn't capped at the end for ease of cleaning and use.

Vibrating rings are a ton of fun solo, but if you're looking for more, the Vibratex Duet will hit just the right note! With two built in vibrators, the Duet brings a whole world of vibration to everyday lovemaking. One vibrator can be set to vibrate on contact, while the other provides continuous vibration via an off/on switch. The non-toxic and phthalate-free elastomer ring and vibe-holder is completely removable for easy cleaning and battery replacement.

Check out the Vibratex's Duet ring and the Super Head Honcho sleeve.

Stop and Smell the "Poopy" Roses

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We don't get a lot of scat-related requests at Come As You Are, maybe one a month at most. We know better than to think that our in-store experience is a direct reflection of the prevalence or intensity of people's relationships to "poop". I first saw this sign last week while walking to work (yes, the owner of this fence and sign is one of the people in our neighborhood) and meant to take a picture and share it. I forgot, but today, with the new addition of someone else's thoughts, I took the time to stop and smell the poopy roses.

What I can't understand is whether or not this sign is saying that it's the law that states you'll be wearing poop, or it's the law that states you have to clean it up. I know the former is true, but is it possible that the latter is as well? This is Canada.

Does your website have a gender?

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Like many folks out there, we rather resent having binary gender imposed on us, but sometimes gender can be an interesting (if narrow) tool for analysis. And sometimes, it just make for a fun web-based tool.

If you're someone who finds internet (and facebook!) surveys to be completely irresistible, you may get some enjoyment from this. The folks at uClassify (known for their web text classifier) have developed a text analyzer that proports to determine the gender of a particular website based on the text on the site. Much to our pleasure, comeasyouare.com was considered to be 'quite gender neutral' and was 53% 'female'.

To be fair, because we're a worker-owned co-operative and all of the worker-owners (and staff!) contribute co-operatively to our website and shop, it makes a ton of sense that our site reflects a variety of perspectives (gender and otherwise). Also, we've always consciously sought to include people of all genders and sexualities in our shop (and website) so I'm especially pleased that some arbitrary web-based gender analyzer has recognized this. As have many of you!

Gender Analyzer

Accessible Erotica: Tactile Mind

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We're thrilled to see this book getting so much mainstream press (CNN, BBC, Toronto Star, and the funniest, the NY Post). Photographer Lisa J Murphy came to us almost two years ago to introduce us to her tactile erotica and we fell in love with it. We think you will too. | more about Tactile Mind

Come As You Are QR Code

Thu, 08 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Post this under 'nerdy fun'! If you've got a QR Code (Quick Response code) reader on your smartphone or iPhone, or happen to be really into awesome things that are (were?) major trendy in Japan, you already know the fun and general awesomeness that is the QR Code. You can embed a phone number, website or short message in one compact code that is quickly read by a range of devices. To satisfy the 'nerdy fun' requirement in my job description, I've created two CAYA-related codes.

QR Codes are like UPCs - you need a scanner to read them. If you've got a smartphone with a camera, you're in luck - there's most likely already an app available for your device! Search google or the iTunes store, and there are plenty of choices.

Want to create your own QR Code? You can try a free web-based QR Code generator.

I can imagine that the sexy possibilities for this are probably pretty endless. I don't want to encourage a lot of explicit talk around here (ha!) but if anyone's got a tale of interesting QR Code hot times - or even a UPC-related story - post it below in the comments, or get in touch.

Additionally, the first person to decode the CAYA codes above will win something awesome from us. Send me an email with the content of the codes to enter!

Keeping Your Privates Private - EXIF Data and You

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The internet has a way of making everything seem so anonymous - you can leave comments on blogs using a pseudonym, post a personal ad on Craigslist or get an email account with a fake name in mere moments. On some level, I think we all know that these online interactions aren't completely private since websites routinely log the IP address of users and internet service providers log the activity of their subscribers. I'm often comforted knowing that the data trail I leave online is most likely lost in the massive amount of data collected, and unless I do something that attracts the attention of authorities or someone wants to steal my identity, no one is going to pay much attention to what I personally do online.

In the world of online dating (and online hooking up) photos have clearly become mandatory, and cruising any personal site you can see the variety of photographic techniques employed to keep the subject of the photo obscured. This results in a lot of photos of headless people, disembodied penises and the like, but it isn't clear that simply removing identifying features from photos is going to keep your identity (or location!) private.

In the good old days of digital photography before every device on your person contained a camera, digital cameras only collected a few bits (er, bytes) of data along with the photo. This data (called EXIF data) contained information about your camera, a thumbnail of the photo and the date and time. Unless you didn't want folks to know about your new expensive camera or when you took the photo, you didn't have to worry about your photos violating your privacy.

The proliferation of phones with cameras and the popularity of geotagging on Flickr and Picasa changed everything. If your phone (or camera) has any kind of GPS in it, for your convenience your photos may also embed your latitude and longitude along with your money shot. This of course makes geotagging your photos easier, but it also means that anyone with a computer and a tiny bit of technical knowledge can find out exactly when and where you took that photo.

Lots of dating sites do seem to strip EXIF data from the photos you post with your profile, but this is far from standard and generally, we just can't expect every website to be worthy of trust So, if you're someone who cruises the internet for sex or love or you just like to post photos online, what can you do?

Well, actually, it is pretty simple to remove EXIF data from your photos and unless you find automatic geotagging particularly useful, it is a worthwhile endeavour. In Windows XP, you can view and edit the EXIF data by right clicking on your photo and selecting 'properties' and then the 'summary'. If you've got a Mac, you can view and edit EXIF data by selecting your photo and then 'get info' in the Finder.

If you take your privacy extremely seriously, you can use a meta-data removal tool like Exifer or JPEG & PNG Stripper. If you're feeling nosy and want to snoop on other folks' EXIF data, check out this handy Firefox extension.

Consent and the Supreme Court of Canada

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Unfortunately, no actual sex (kinky or otherwise) will be happening among the supremes - or none that we know of - but it seems that the Supreme Court of Canada may have to decide whether an unconscious person can give consent. Yikes!

An Ottawa man was charged and convicted of sexual assault for penetrating his partner with a dildo while she was unconscious. Apparently, the couple was hot-and-heavy into asphyxiation and according to The Globe and Mail, their relationship soured and a few weeks later, the 'top' partner was charged. As it stands now, the conviction has been overturned by the Ontario Court of Appeals and almost inevitably, that decision will be appealed, and this will probably wind up in front of the Supreme Court of Canada.

This case is seriously problematic, and I'm probably being far too optimistic in hoping that this decision leads to some legal clarity for folks who participate in BDSM. I'll leave the asphyxiation warnings (auto-erotic and otherwise) to Dan Savage (he feels more strongly about this than I do), but in a country where the government does not meddle in our bedrooms, people who play with power and sex don't have any protection against accusations of sexual assault. Similarly, folks engaging in BDSM play who are violated or assaulted, will have a difficult (if not impossible) time explaining to authorities how consent works in their relationships.

I know the Canadian media and courts are framing this as an issue of whether a person can consent to acts performed while they are unconscious, but I'm not sure that consciousness is even relevant here. The Globe article used some nice touchy-feely analogies - eg. snuggling your lover while they're asleep - but I think that establishing consent while someone is bound-and-gagged is equally problematic and is almost equivalent here. Of course, millions of Canadians work out these issues every day on their own without the help of the government, but the question remains - what happens when things do go wrong and the cops are called?

I guess we'll find out soon enough...

Marital Aid Test Kitchen Reviews The Mystic Wand

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We're big Vibratex fans at Come As You Are. After all, Vibratex has been making high-quality vibrators while the rest of the industry was content putting out cheap toys that were broken before they even left the store and relying on societal sex shame to keep return rates low. Vibratex brought us the classic but still awesome Rabbit Pearl, then the Rabbit Habit and were among the first to take the phthalates out of their toys.

I often love the Marital Aid Test Kitchen reviews precisely because they give a personally biased take on sex toys that we don't like to give on our website. We never think that because a sex toy works for one of us, that it will necessarily work for you - in fact, because we review our toys collectively (which is way less creepy than it sounds), we know that sex toy love is as subjective as the real kind.

In any case, the Mystic Wand is a real breakthrough in the world of wand-style vibrators, and while comparisons to the Hitachi Magic Wand are somewhat helpful, the quality of the vibration is quite different between the two, and the Mystic Wand has tons of features that the Hitachi can't touch.

Check out this review of the Vibratex Mystic Wand at Marital Aid Test Kitchen at Fleshbot.

Doin' it Daily - Aslan Leather Jaguar Harness

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily!
It's hard to believe, but the month of spring is upon us. To celebrate we're offering daily specials for the rest of March. Each day we'll post a new product on our home page at a dangerously sexy new price, good for one day only. We've got a little bit of everything, vibes, lube, dildos, porn, anal toys, erotica, and more. You can also click here to sign up and receive a fresh special every day. So sign up and save, and before you know it, spring will have sprung!

Doin' It Daily Deal: Aslan Leather Jaguar Harness
Aslan's Jaguar was an instant classic when it was revealed a few years ago. This is the Jaguar that started it all. Made from soft and supple garment leather, the Jaguar's D-rings allow for easy leg strap adjustment and comfortable wearing. Best of all, this harness is sexy-as-hell. Medium fits approximately 29"-45", large fits approximately 32" - 52". | more info about Aslan Leather Jaguar Harness

Regular price: $95
Doin' it Daily Deal: $80

Doin' it Daily - all Vibrators on Sale

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal: 20% off all Vibrators!
It is hard to believe, but the month of March is almost over and today is the final day for our Doin' it Daily deal of the day. Remember, each deal is only valid for one day, and today, receive 20% off all vibrators! Battery-powered or rechargeable, silicone or elastomer, we've got them all and they're all on sale | view our selection of vibrators!

Envisioning New Meanings of Disability and Difference

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We highly recommend checking out this website and online digital media project that explores (as the name says) the various ways we think about and talk about disability and difference. From the site:

Over the last three years, women living with disabilities and physical differences took part in arts-based workshops. Workshop activities and discussions explored identity and the meaning we find in our experiences. How do we want to be seen? What is important to us?

The result is the dynamic multimedia Envisioning exhibit featuring 34 photographs and 12 digital stories. By creating their art, women use the power of image to share their life experiences, expertise, and imagination.

The site is also an interesting model of accessibility for anyone looking at creating multi-media content that is more accessible.

Check it out: Envisioning New Meanings of Disability and Difference

Assault Prevention Workshop for Trans Women (Montreal)

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Sent to us from the folks at the Montreal Assault Prevention Centre who are working in collaboration with ASTTeQ (Trans Health Action of Quebec)

Assault Prevention Workshop for Transsexual and Transgender Women

Introductory session: April 6, 2010, 7:30-9pm, 2075 Plessis
2 full day classes: April 17 & 24 1:00pm-8:30pm, LOCATION TBA

**REGISTRATION** To register in advance, or for more information, contact Nora at ASTTeQ – astteq@yahoo.ca or 514-847-0067 ext. 207

Transsexual and transgender women, including sex workers, low-income, migrant and racialized trans women, face systemic barriers in accessing assault prevention services. In order to address systemic exclusion, the Montreal Assault Prevention Centre in collaboration with ASTTeQ is offering an ACTION self-defence workshop for free to trans women. This 15 hour ACTION workshop includes verbal and physical self-defence strategies with the goal of preventing violence.

**A meal and light snacks will be served during the full day classes. Metro tickets are available. Please let us know if you need childcare or have any other needs related to access – 514-847-0067 ext. 207**

Montreal Assault Prevention Centre
(514) 284-1212
diversite@cpamapc.org
ASTT(e)Q : Action Santé Travesti(e)s et Transsexuel(le)s du Québec
Un projet de Cactus Montréal
514-847-0067, poste 207
astteq@yahoo.ca
http://www.cactusmontreal.org/fr/astteq.html

Doin' it Daily - Silicone Sex Toys on Sale

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily!
It's hard to believe, but the month of spring is upon us. To celebrate we're offering daily specials for the rest of March. Each day we'll post a new product on our home page at a dangerously sexy new price, good for one day only. We've got a little bit of everything, vibes, lube, dildos, porn, silicone sex toys, erotica, and more. You can also click here to sign up and receive a fresh special every day. So sign up and save, and before you know it, spring will have sprung!

Doin' It Daily Deal: All Silicone Sex Toys!
Silicone is an ideal material for sex toys - it is hypoallergenic, non-porous and easy to clean - and for today only, it is also on sale! All of our silicone vibrators, dildos and silicone sex toys are 20% off! | view our selection of silicone vibrators, silicone dildos and silicone anal toys!

Doin' it Daily - Anal Toys on Sale

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal: Anal Sex Toys!
Anal sex toys offer a wide range of sensations and possibilities for exploring anal play by yourself or with a partner. There are three main kinds of anal sex toys - plugs, beads and prostate massagers - and they're all on sale for one day only! | view our selection of anal toys Doin' it Daily Deal: 25% off all anal sex toys!

Come As You Are Blog - Choice Porn Title of the Week - March 27, 2010

Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

There’s some bad, bad, titles for porn out there. I know it better than a lot of people. Well, maybe if you frequent sketchy porn shops, I’m sure you’ve seen a few horrible ones indiscriminately scattered amongst the shelves. I just don’t know what appeal this holds. Obviously, it works for some people. I find it pretty disgusting. What does the title literally mean, “stop fucking me”? That’s typically not what gets viewers off. Oh well.

Midnight Mayhem Sale TONIGHT

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Midnight Mayhem Tonight!
Put some air in your tires and a spring in your step because it's time for inventory spring cleaning!

Join us in-store for great deals and hourly giveaways or come score in our infamous toonie toy bin while DJ Winnie spins jams till midnight.

Experience mayhem online with 15% off all sex toys and DVDs all weekend long! Be sure to check out our Doin' it Daily sale for great deals every day!.

The MIDNIGHT MAYHEM event is March 26th between 9pm - 12am in our fully wheelchair accessible store at 701 Queen Street West.

Doin' It Daily Deal:
Bondage Tape
Let your imagination loose with this incredibly versatile toy. 30' feet of re-useable tape that sticks to itself but not to you. Great for anyone who has a hard time with knots, and it looks sexy too! | more info about Bondage Tape

Regular price: $12
Doin' it Daily Deal: $7

Doin' it Daily - Pack Man

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal:
Pack Man
Is that a new packer in your pants, or are you just happy to see us? Maybe it's both, since there's definitely a new packer in town. We were feeling a need for a more affordable but still durable packer, and one that would give us a colour selection, so we turned to our local dildo manufacturer, Happy Valley and asked them to turn our dreams into reality. | more info about Pack Man

Regular price: $40
Doin' it Daily Deal: $30

Doin' it Daily - LifeStyles Skyn Condoms

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal:
LifeStyle Skyn Condoms
At long last, a non-latex condom that's affordable and provides protection equal to latex. Let us introduce you to LifeStyles SKYN, condoms made of stretchy polyisoprene to provide a more comfortable and custom fit than traditional polyurethane non-latex condoms at half the cost. | more info about LifeStyle Skyn Condoms

Regular price: $15
Doin' it Daily Deal: $12

Doin' it Daily - Elastomer Cock Ring

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal:
Elastomer Cock Ring
This super-stretchy cock ring is easy to get on and off, but is elastic enough that it fits nice and tight. Made of elastomer rubber so you don't have to worry about latex exposure or those pesky phthalates! | more info about Elastomer Cock Ring

Regular price: $18
Doin' it Daily Deal: $14

Doin' it Daily - Fun Factory Delight

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal: Fun Factory Delight
It's delicious, it's de-lovely, it's delightful... Fun Factory brings vibe design to a ultimate new height with Delight. Made of non-porous and phthalate-free silicone and hard plastic, this rechargeable, simultaneous external/internal vibrator charges in its own sexy, discreet case. The convenient handle accommodates both solo and partner play, and also helps to make the g spot and clitoral zones accessible at once. Featuring a wide variety of intensities and pulsations, Delight has to be seen--and tried--for yourself. | more info about Fun Factory Delight

Regular price: $172
Doin' it Daily Deal: $150

Doin' it Daily - Nexus G-Play Medium

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal: Nexus G-Play Medium
We love Nexus for their innovative silicone prostate toys, but we love them even more now that they're spreading the love to folks of all genders. The Nexus G-Play is a multi-function and multi-speed silicone vibe that works as well working the prostate as it does for g-spot play. The sleek, slender shape and variable speeds make it ideal for prostate and penetration play for newbies and anyone who likes a small but mighty vibe. Comes in three sizes. | more info about Nexus G-Play Medium

Regular price: $43
Doin' it Daily Deal: $30

Doin' it Daily - Hitachi Magic Wand Massager

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Doin' It Daily Deal: Hitachi Magic Wand
One of the few "brand names" in sex toys, the Hitachi Magic Wand is our bestselling vibrator. With a soft, tennis-ball-sized head and pulsating vibrations, this toy is a favourite for both solo and partner play. Two speeds: strong, and stronger.| more info about Hitachi Magic Wand

Regular price: $70
Doin' it Daily Deal: $60

7th Annual Midnight Mayhem Sale

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Come As You Are is hosting it's 7th annual MIDNIGHT MAYHEM Event!

Put some air in your tires and a spring in your step because it's time for inventory spring cleaning!

Join us for great deals and hourly giveaways or come score in our infamous toonie toy bin while DJ Winnie spins jams till midnight.

We've been warming up for the event with Doin' it Daily specials on our website posting a different product everyday at blow out prices for one day only. It's absolute Mayhem because what ever we don't sell, we have to count!

The MIDNIGHT MAYHEM event is March 26th between 9pm - 12am in our fully wheelchair accessible store at 701 Queen Street West.

Any questions, just give us a call, 416-504-7934

Montreal Trans Training Opportunitity

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We're forwarding this along from the Trans Health Network of Quebec:

Developing Competency with Transsexual and Transgender Patients: Primary Care and Hormone Prescription

DATE: Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
TIME: 6:30 pm
LOCATION: Centre St-Pierre, 1212 Panet, Room 201, Metro Beaudry, wheelchair accessible

We, The Trans Health Network of Québec, would like to officially extend to you an invitation to participate in what will be a unique and valuable training opportunity.

The Trans Health Network is a collective comprised of several community organizations as well as a few individuals dedicated to promoting access to health resources for transgender, transsexual, and gender-variant individuals. In doing this, we have recognized that part of increasing access to healthcare for trans-identified people in the community is to build awareness of trans-specific healthcare needs amongst medical professionals – this includes knowledge of a number of specific issues such as prescribing hormone therapy and being sensitive to people’s chosen names and pronouns.

We are contacting you because we have either had contact with you in the past, your name was recommended to us, or you have expressed interest in becoming more familiar with trans-specific healthcare.

Thus, we would like to invite you to this special training opportunity. This will be a chance to become more familiar with the basics of respecting trans identities, find out the general state of access to healthcare for trans people in Québec, and learn how to prescribe hormone therapy and how to perform sensitive and respectful examinations. As well, this will be a chance for you to meet other medical professionals interested in providing better healthcare to trans-identified individuals.

The future health of the trans community depends on being able to receive adequate and respectful healthcare – and for that we need you!

Please RSVP by Monday, March 29th.
If you have any questions, please contact us at santetranshealth@gmail.com

Come As You Are Blog - Choice Porn Title of the Week - March 17th, 2010

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

They say we learn something new every day, right, and today was my lucky day (writing this on St.Patrick’s day, might have something to do with the fact that I’m some-percent Irish). I learned the term “Onion Booty”, which immediately skyrocketed to one of my favourite expressions existing in the English language.

If you aren’t familiar with the expression, it basically means someone with an ass so sexy that it makes you cry. Get it, onions, crying… yeah. Fucking fantastic.

I might find it hard to work into my everyday vocab. Maybe I’ll try it on a stranger…

What's Cooking in the Marital Aid Test Kitchen?

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0400

One of our favourite recurring spots on Fleshbot is the Marital Aid Test Kitchen. Originally penned (I think exclusively) by Come As You Are porn-nerd crush Gram Ponante, the kitchen's been remodelled and expanded several times, and today's informative installment comes from newly crowned editor of Fleshbot, Lux Alptraum (speaking of porn nerd crushes). Lux took one of our favorite rechargeables, the Natural Contours Ideal, for a test drive and it looks like she won't be bringing it back to the lot:"A powerful vibe that doesn't need to be plugged in, with a fancy g-spotter attachment.

Come As You Are Blog - Scarily Hot - Horror Porn

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

I got asked to talk about horror porn the other day for the Showcase blog. It's always super fun to talk about interesting stuff like that. Unfortunately for me (because I like 'niche-y' porn), there isn't a super huge market for true "horror" porn, for a lot of our customers blood, gore and sex don't ultimately go together like pb&j. There is a bunch of it out there though, you can check out some of what we've got at the blog post here.

I guess I should brush up on what is going on in the non-xxx world, cause I have never heard of Woke Up Dead...huh, I guess now I know!

Dr. Feelgood or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Butt Plug

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

I really hate to ‘poke fun’ at other websites (or wait, do I really love it?), but being on the receiving end of a ton of strange emails, I do like to share with the rest of the world that may not be as lucky as I am to receive such gems. And in this case, I’ve learned so, so much about just who uses sex toys in this day and age. That is, only single people who are way too ugly and busy to get a partner. See the third paragraph – but really, read the whole thing. Here it is: www.doctorfeelgoodtoys.com

This website emailed me to suggest a link exchange, which I didn’t respond to, but found they had put www.comeasyouare.com up on their site anyway. I doubt we’re going to get much increased traffic from this exposure, but oh well. I can tell you that our values are definitely nowhere even close to being in line with theirs.

I’m also missing the whole point of this website. I’m guessing it might be some type of vessel for something else, I’m not really that internet smart. But it did provide me with a couple minutes of hilarious reading.

Doin' it Daily - Slippery Stuff

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

It goes on thick, but is silky when used, this stayput gel contains no sugar. Many find it easier to use for anal play. Very little taste and no glycerin. Slippery Stuff 4oz and 8oz on sale today!| more info about Slippery Stuff

Regular price: $11 - $16
Doin' it Daily Deal: $8 - $12

Doin' it Daily - Liberator Throws

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Want the throws of passion without the messy clean-up afterward? Looking for some hot kitchen floor sex without the bum crumbs? This brilliant little throw from Liberator provides an ideal barrier between your love-making and the rest of the world. These totally absorbent throws are machine washable and full reversible so you can have sexy satin next to your skin one hot night, and soft, snuggly microfiber the next. | more info about Liberator Throws

Regular price: $80
Doin' it Daily Deal: $60

Getting and Giving Walrus Lovin'

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We know we're nerds for sharing this, but since it's right there in our core values (#7, create nerdy fun) we feel justified.

Last month we wrote a letter to the editors of The Walrus, responding to a piece they did on the banning of Lady Chatterly's Lover in Canada (What Thunder Bay Burned), and they published it! We won't reprint the whole thing here, but this is just a peek at our incredibly well written righteous indignation:

Even in contemporary public discourse, discussions of sexuality tend to be guided by moral bias rather than critical judgment. Sex may be more visible in this day and age — it’s used to sell products from lattes to jeans — but sexuality, truly examined, still makes legislators uncomfortable. When the government determines what is and isn’t a morally acceptable exploration of sexuality, we risk losing not only our artistic works, but our sexual freedom.

We go on to talk about Bill C-58, the toe-fucking scene in Weeds. It's short, but cute.

Okay, nerd-fest is over...back to work!

Read more: Walrus Letters - Talking Dirty

Doin' it Daily - Fleshlight STU

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Get ready to master the fine art and science of brinksmanship with the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit! Similar to the classic Fleshlight SpeedBump insert, the Fleshlight STU has exaggerated textured bumps all through the length of the sleeve. The idea behind the STU (and many masturbation programmes designed to help guys 'last longer') is that you masturbate to almost the point of orgasm, and then stop, and repeat. The extreme bumps of the STU just make the challenge a little more challenging! Comes with gold coloured case. Regular price: $85

Doin' it Daily Price: $65

Order Fleshlight STU at this price today only!

Come As You Are Blog - Eye Weekly Fleshlight Love

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Check out this week's Eye Weekly Magazine for an article about our beloved Fleshlight, with some input from Come As You Are worker-owner Cory!

Here's the link.

Doin' it Daily - Master Han's Daughter

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

One of our favorite sex educators and bondage teachers, Midori, brings us her newest fiction offering--and it was worth the wait! Master Han’s Daughter vividly describes the world of NeoToyko where cyberpunks, pharmaceutical companies, sex workers and Japanese traditions collide to create explicit erotic stories where sex is everything but simple. At times dark and tormented but always with a dash of humour, these characters offer up an erotic pallet both beautiful and violent. A distopic future brimming with sexuality and new erotic possibilities! Regular price: $13.99

Doin' it Daily Price: $10.50

Order Master Han's Daughter at this price today only!

Doin' it Daily - NobEssence Tryst

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

You’ll have more than just a mere Tryst with these stylish sustainable wood dildos from NobEssence. Totally waterproof, non-toxic and easy to clean, their almost-patented inert polymer wood finish will keep your Tryst non-porous and will defy everything you thought you knew about wood. Each piece is handcrafted out of a unique piece of sustainable exotic hardwood. Regular price: $170

Doin' it Daily Price: $100

Order NobEssence Tryst at this price today only!

Doin' it Daily - Red Hotz DVD

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Got a thing for redheads? This DVD will be just the thing to spice up your evening! A collection of scenes featuring sexy cinnamon babes and their hot partners. All natural bodies. Best scene: the 2 girl light power play scene featuring a red haired pin up domme and her sexy sub, including smoking, soft spanking, flogging and toys. Regular price: $29

Doin' it Daily Price: $15

Order Red Hotz DVD at this price today only!

Celebrating International Women's Day with a Little Old Fashioned Male Chauvinism

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Yesterday, as we rang in another International Women's Day, one of our staff members stumbled upon (or, ran into head-on) this ad on the front of the Metro daily newspaper. If anyone needs a reminder of why we still celebrate the fight for gender equality the ad is a good place to start.

The Docker's khaki pants ad (yes, khakis of all things) attempts to evoke some sort of nostalgic reminiscing of those 'lost days' when patriarchy ruled supreme –“men took charge because that's what they did". According to Dockers, the threat to their glorious rule is not women (though now women are stuck with the chief challenge of opening their own doors), but rather androgyny, non-fat lattes and salad. Who knew a healthy diet had such influence?!

The problem, as they see it, with this "genderless society" (a feat I myself thought we were an awfully long way from accomplishing), is that "the world sits idly by as cities crumble". Why is it that I don't think the advertisers are referencing Port-au-Prince or Concepcion? Yet, what seems like propaganda intended to make young men join the army is instead a call to khakis. Soft, light pants that stain if you get them dirty. This makes me smile and recall ... the rising of the woman is the rising of us all!

Happy (belated) International Women's Day!
(First image - Cover page of newspaper taken out as ad space. Second image - Inside front cover full-page ad and original front cover. Third image - text from "man shaped" ad)

Doin it Daily - Nexus G-Play on Sale

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Whether you're feeling indecisive or just want everything all at once, the Nexus Range's G-Play vibrator satisfies both impulses. The G-Play series is a silicone, multi-mode vibrator perfect for g-spot play or anal play. This three pack includes the Small, Medium and Large G-Play vibrators at a nice discount! Regular price: $110

Doin' it Daily price: $90
More about Nexus G-Play

choice porn title of the week - march 5

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

This one just struck me as funny. I’ve always wondered what was so attractive about women who were extremely flexible and why this was a directly sexual thing. If one is flexible, there’s immediately an undertone that points directly to how good they might be at having sex, and I’d even go so far as to say that it makes that person out to be more of a sexual object than a person that might be able to accommodate many positions. Truthfully, I’m not exactly sure how pleasurable a lot of these positions would be for either partner, but then again, I don’t necessarily identify as one that has a ‘flexibility fetish’, as you might have deduced from this post.

Whatever, it’s funny and I like it. The Bendy Broads box cover gets a thumbs up from me!

Doin' It Daily - White Latex Gloves On Sale

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Powder-free, latex gloves. Box of 100. Regular price: $24

Doin' it Daily price: $18
Get your hands on a box of Latex Gloves today!

Doin' It Daily - NobEssence Linger Wood Dildo On Sale

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Make your love life sustainable with NobEssence wood dildos. The NobEssence Linger is the ultimate in luxury beads. With an ergonomic finger hold, Linger's smooth beads are ideal for either g-spot or anal play. Non-porous, waterproof and made of sustainable wood. Regular price: $160

Doin' it Daily price: $120
Find out more about NobEssence.

Doin' It Daily - Love Bumper Love Lounge

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Experience sex furniture that makes sex more fun and looks great doing it! The Love Bumper Love Lounge is a complete sex furniture system all-in-one. Open up your sex life to a whole new range of position possibilities with the ergonomically designed Love Lounge. Cover is removable, washable and waterproof. View Love Lounge sex positions on the Love Bumper website. Regular price: $300

Doin' it Daily price: $200
Learn more about Love Bumper Love Lounge.

Doin' It Daily - Bondage Tape On Sale

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Let your imagination loose with this incredibly versatile toy. 30' feet of re-useable tape that sticks to itself but not to you. Great for anyone who has a hard time with knots, and it looks sexy too! Regular price: $12

Doin' it Daily price: $8
Learn more about Bondage Tape.

Toronto Event: Blazing the Indigenous Feminist Trail

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

This looks like a great discussion happening at OISE. Last week Cory was in San Francisco at Sex:Tech speaking on a panel about feminist sex education. It's very exciting to have so many other people talking about, problematizing, and generally digging into what any of us mean when we talk about our work or ourselves as feminist.

If you're interested the event has a Facebook page (click here), but copied below are some of the highlights.

"Indigenous Feminism" has been taken up as more than just a “theory” by Indigenous academics and activists throughout Turtle Island and beyond. But still many people reject the term. What does “Indigenous Feminism” constitute? Is it just about women? Isn’t feminism a “white-woman’s” thing? Isn’t land really the only issue?

A powerhouse evening featuring two incredible women who have shaped and continue to blaze the Indigenous feminist trail, and who will never be defined solely by one theory.

Featuring
Andrea Smith, co-founder of Incite! Women of Color Against Violence and the Boarding School Healing Project

Lee Maracle, award-winning poet, novelist, performance storyteller, scriptwriter, actor, and writer in residence at First Nations House at University of Toronto

Moderated by Jessica Yee, founder and executive director of the Native Youth Sexual Health Network

Where: Ontario Institute for Studies in Education
252 Bloor W, Rm 2-212

When: March 25, 7-9pm

This event is free and the building is wheelchair accessible.

For more information check out their Facebook page or email cwse@utoronto.ca.

Doin' It Daily - OhMiBod FreeStyle On Sale

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

OhMiBod have always been the true innovators of the music-driven vibrator, and in keeping with that reputation, OhMiBod has released the world's first truly wireless iPod vibrator: FreeStyle. With OhMiBod's 2.4Ghz transmitter hooked up to your music making device, your FreeStyle will vibrate along with your jams 25 feet away from your iPod or iPhone! The FreeStyle is splashproof, rechargeable and has seven modes of vibration for those times when you want the vibe without the music. Works with any mp3 player, discman, walkman or other music device with a headphone jack. Regular price: $150

Doin' it Daily price: $100
Learn more about OhMiBod FreeStyle .

Doin' It Daily - Hathor Aphrodisia Lubricant 8oz

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

A lubricant made for skipping through the daisies! Hathor Aphrodisia pure lube is organically sourced, contains Horny Goat Weed and feels soft like velvet. This water-based lube is unscented, unflavoured and non-sticky. Made with love in Canada. Regular price: $28

Doin' it Daily price: $20
Learn more about Hathor Aphrodisia Lubriciant.

something's a little off...

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The other day, one of our CAYA staff members was doing a quite innocent google search for “cum as you are” (cause, why not), and came up with this gem.

Reminiscent of some spam emails that I’m sure everyone gets with oddly placed and sometimes non-existent english words, we are treated to some awesome descriptions of the ladies that are “advertised” on www.favoritegirl.net. It may also just be a botched translation.

Some of my faves:

-“Her place is so newborn and has a clump of firm noesis already.”

-the use of the word “crapper”

-“Wow… does this teenaged countenance artful or what! Britney has these artful braces on which declare shes… meet overturned 18!”

-“Check discover the galleries beneath but if you poverty more go here.”

-“Dream buffoon is so hot…”

-“Hmmm Karenic is lethargic alright.”

Enjoy.

Canadian Citizenship Minister Edits Gay Rights Out of Guide

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0400

A press release from the NDP Communications office is calling out Minister of Citizenship and Immigration Jason Kenney who apparently requested that references to gay history and gay rights be removed from the latest edition of the Candian Citizenship study guide. New Democratic Critic for Citizenship and Immigration Olivia Chow is quoted in a prepared release:

"Instead of proudly showcasing what makes us Canadian, Harper's Conservatives have shamefully chosen to delete equal rights, including marriage, for gays and lesbians from our history...Minister Kenney should immediately apologise and restore to the guide the part of Canadian history that celebrates our spirit of tolerance and freedom."

The version of the guide that is online now contains only one reference to gay rights, text underneath a picture of Mark Tewksbury which reads "Olympic gold medallist and prominent activist for gay and lesbian Canadians."

If it's true that Minister Kenney is trying to remove references to gay rights from a document intended for people considering living in Canada it may fit with his politics, but it's not going to serve his government in the end. Failing to present Canada as it is to potential newcomers isn't going to change the make up of Canada, all it's going to do is result in confused and possibly unhappy new Canadians who were less prepared for the society and culture they now find themselves in. I hate to use a business metaphor (I know we lost this fight to neoliberals a long time ago, but I still wish we didn't treat the government like a business) but it's like dishonest advertising. If you're thinking about Canadian citizenship you should know our history of gay, lesbian, and queer rights activism. Needless to say it's something we think we should be proud of.

Read more NDP.ca: Don't write gay community out of Canadian history

Join our co-operative team

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Are you a detail-oriented highly organized self-starter interested in helping others make healthy sexual choices?

Does the idea of using your problem solving skills in a democratic work environment sound exciting?

Are you looking for an opportunity to engage your strong work ethic and communication skills in a company committed to progressive business practices that offers you a chance to share in the success of the company?

If so we want to hear from you. Our co-operative offers an extensive paid two week training, the opportunity to actively participate in the direction of the company, staff discounts, paid sick leave, and health benefits. Staff also have the opportunity to become owners and shareholders in the company.

Come As You Are is looking a full time customer service representative to work in our retail store. We want folks committed to sexual health, who love customer service and think working here would compliment their other school/volunteer/work/childcare obligations.

We are looking for a motivated individual with some retail experience. Volunteer experience, bilingualism & sexual health/education experience are all assets.

We are committed to diversity in hiring.

Application deadline is January 6th. Please download a Come As You Are job application as a word doc or pdf and e-mail or fax it to us.

Meet the Minx

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The Minx Harness

This new harness from Aslan Leather is the epitome of sexy, comfortable, and functional. Similar to the ever-popular Jaguar, the Minx features a stunning, corset-style, lace-up back. Available in black ($165), leopard ($180), and as just the back as an addition if you already own a Jaguar ($65).

Click the image to view all new products from Come As You Are!

Amazon Sex Book Find: Definitely Not Kosher

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Sometimes when I'm avoiding other work I troll Amazon for sex books in pre-publication. I'm always amazed that they have books listed that aren't due to be published for another eight months, or more, but they're already shilling the next "how to blow his mind" edition in hardcover, paperback, and Kindle editions.

That's what I was doing when I stumbled across the book you see on the right; De Lust van Het Zwijn. Variously translated as The Desire of the Swine, The Lust of the Pig, and The Desire of the Hog depending on which free translation website you visit, the book is apparently the story of a man addicted to sex. Whether the man is represented by a pig on the cover, or this is in fact a scene played out for his twisted gratification, what I mostly want to know is did the author get permissions from either the woman or the swine before photoshopping them together.

For the Love of Sexual Values

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

This is the time of year when everyone - from chocolatiers to tax lawyers - cites some "sexpert" or random statistic to entice you to buy some gizmo to improve your sex life. This kind of hucksterism is one of the things we hate the most about the business we're in. Don Draper was right when he said it isn't sex that sells, but if sex is what you care about, it's unfortunate that you are forced to navigate smoke and mirrors advertising and misinformation. At Come As You Are, we'll help you find your way by providing the most accurate and up-to-date information and quality products.

New Stuff!

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We've got some awesome new products around Come As You Are that we wanted you to check out. Even if you spent a little too much dough enjoying your Valentine's Day to the fullest, these new top-of-the-line toys won't disappoint, and won't break the bank.

bCurious – This awesomely shaped external vibe is an affordable option for those looking for a great multi-functional rechargeable vibe. http://www.comeasyouare.com/default/index.cfm/shop/product/bSwish-bCurious-Rechargeable-Vibrator/

Fleshlight Vibro – For years, we’ve had customers asking for a Fleshlight that combines vibration with it’s already excellent design. The new Vibro comes with three multi-speed one-touch vibes that are inserted into the sleeve to take this Fleshlight to a new level. It’s also a deal - $100 for sleeve and case, plus the vibrators – and it comes in it’s own sexy tin.

http://www.comeasyouare.com/default/index.cfm/shop/product/Fleshlight-Vibro-Pink-Lady/

Lelo Mona – Lelo’s got a new design out – they’ve upgraded their traditional control pad with easier to use push buttons, as well as streamlined the design of the body of the vibrator. Check out Mona – a total steal on sale at $110.

http://www.comeasyouare.com/default/index.cfm/shop/product/Lelo-Mona-Vibrator/

Panel Discussion on Worker Co-ops and Sex!

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

It's not just about sex, but tomorrow Cory is representing our co-op on a panel featuring Heather Barclay from The Big Carrot and Reba Plumber from Urban Cyclist as part of the Social Economy Centre's lunchbox series.

The topic is entrepreneurship in worker co-operatives, something we never tire of talking about or thinking about.

The event will be webcast live and I think you can even chat in with questions. More information can be found at http://socialeconomy.utoronto.ca

If you're in Toronto and have an interest in alternative business models, co-ops, entrepreneurship, or of course, sex shops, organic food, and bikes, come check it out. It's free!

Wednesday February 17
Noon to 1:30pm
Ontario Institute for Studies in Education
252 Bloor St. West
Room 12-199

For more information email Lisa White: secspeaker@oise.utoronto.ca

What is Hypersexual Disorder

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

So far it’s just a dream, a glint in the eyes of the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group that is working on the revision to the DSM, the manual that mental health professionals use to diagnose and bill for their services.

The Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group recently put up a web page that lists all the proposed additions, deletions, and revisions in the area of sex and gender.

As you’d expect from a process where more than half of those who are involved have ties to the drug industry, the proposals are good for Big Pharma and also for researchers, not so good for the rest of us (and honestly, not so good for the individuals who work in research and pharma, since they have sex too, and they will be as badly damaged by the DSM-5 as any of us...only they'll have more money for lawyers and press agents).

Come As You Are is getting involved in setting up some public discussions about the DSM revisions and what they mean to the construction of sexuality and gender, but for now I just want to share one of the proposed new diagnoses, Hypersexual Disorder. Here’s the proposed definition:

Hypersexual Disorder

A. Over a period of at least six months, recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual behavior in association with four or more of the following five criteria:

(1) A great deal of time is consumed by sexual fantasies and urges, and by planning for and engaging in sexual behavior. [15]

(2) Repetitively engaging in these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior in response to dysphoric mood states (e.g., anxiety, depression, boredom, irritability). [16]

(3) Repetitively engaging in sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior in response to stressful life events. [17]

(4) Repetitive but unsuccessful efforts to control or significantly reduce these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior. [18]

(5) Repetitively engaging in sexual behavior while disregarding the risk for physical or emotional harm to self or others. [19]

B. There is clinically significant personal distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior. [20]

C. These sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior are not due to the direct physiological effect of an exogenous substance (e.g., a drug of abuse or a medication). [21]

This is really ghastly. What they have described can easily be categorized as common and reasonable sexual experience.

How many of us think about having sex "a great deal of the time"?

How many of us have sex in response to stress or anxiety?

And how many of us would say that after having sex we feel less anxious, more relaxed?

Are these signs of a disorder?

Let’s consider an example, one of hundreds I could offer from my personal and professional life as a sex educator and, maybe more importantly, someone who is willing to talk to anyone about sexuality.

Doug grew up always feeling a bit different from his friends. He never knew exactly why but by the time he was 10 or 11 he realized that he felt about boys the way most of the boys felt about girls. He also was interested in girls, and they seemed interested in him. So he became a teenager and started being sexual with girls and then women. He really loves sex, he thinks about it a fair bit, and when he wasn’t attached to one person would have sex, often after only a few dates. He always felt tension, stress, about this other thing he was interested in, but he knew that wanting to have sex with guys was weird and wrong (he “knew” this not because he felt it instinctually, but because he was told this by everyone in his life and 95% of all media he consumed). Now he’s in his 30s and in a good relationship with a woman and they are talking about marriage. He decides he has to tell his partner about this. What he says is that he’s always had feelings and desires; they have always stressed him out, and made him question aspects of who he is.

Doug would absolutely qualify for a diagnosis of hypersexual disorder. Is Doug sick? Does he need medical treatment? Is Doug’s situation abnormal? What would happen today if Doug sought counseling or psychiatry? What would happen three years from now if Hypersexual Disorder makes it into the DSM-5?

The second requirement of “personal distress” is often offered as a bone to those of us who cringe at the thought of medicalizing sexuality. The problem is that the way we are sexually socialized and the popular discourse around sexuality leads a path to personal distress. Our sexual options are so narrow that most of us have something, in the eyes of Dr. Phil and the DSM, to be stressed about.

As a sex educator I encounter people all the time who are distressed by their perfectly healthy desires for sex. There is simply no argument I have heard thus far that would lead me to think that a medical diagnosis would serve anyone in this situation any good.

Read more - New York Times: Revising Book on Disorders of the Mind

Sex Store Thoughts on the Giambrone Sex Scandal

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

There’s a brilliant skit in the making, comparing Toronto’s homegrown Adam Giambrone “sex scandal” with any number of recent similar incidents in the U.S (John Edwards, Tiger Woods, etc., etc.). Unfortunately the CBC’s content factory will probably be charged with that task and we’ll have to sit through another painful 4 minutes during The Current or Q just waiting for it to be over. Maybe Stephen Colbert will do something, and then the Star will cover it (at least it would be funny).

Our favourite comment so far comes, not surprisingly, from filmmaker Bruce La Bruce who tweeted “Why not just let politicians be exempt from unrealistic expectations about marriage & monogamy? Vote promiscuity!” We’d like to extend that to everyone, not just politicians.

We don’t relish anyone’s sex life becoming public without their permission, and take no pleasure in rifling through sexual communications of people we don’t know. But since The Toronto Star refuses to stop leaving free copies of their paper on our front stoop, we read it, and we can’t help but think that the texts on both sides sound fake. We hear a lot of dirty talk and receive our fair share of dirty texts at Come As You Are, and the line "I still think of you when I need ... um ... stimulation." feels more like language we’d use in an educational setting, maybe a hospital or nursing home, and less like the torrid typing of young, “inappropriate” lovers. If these are the real texts from the parties involved, this will probably be a short lived, and somewhat salacious-less scandal indeed.

What we’d like to know is what exactly does Giambrone think was inappropriate about this relationship in the first place? As, thankfully, most journalists and bloggers have pointed out, we don’t really know anything about what may or may not have happened. The Star just printed allegations. Regardless of the situation, we’re fascinated by the kinds of relationships people label as appropriate and inappropriate.

12 Days of Sex Toys - Four Calling Birds

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

When you work in retail it’s impossible not to get every holiday song stuck in your head at least once. The 12 Days of Christmas is a particularly pernicious one, so we decided to stop fighting it and make it our own. If you’re thinking of doing a little sex toy shopping over Christmas or the holidays, and you’re not sure where to start, let the 12 Days of Sex Toys be your guide.

We couldn’t decide which Calling All Angels song to reference here (Train, Lenny, or a little CanCon Jane Siberry?), but the point is that these calling birds are clearly calling out for one angel in particular, the Earth Angel. And why not, it’s a vibrator that cares as much about the planet as it does about your pleasure. Birds love it, we think you will too.

Earth Angel

Give Sexy, Get Sexy for Valentine's

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Give Sexy, Get Sexy!

When it comes to sex we’ve always believed the lines between giving and receiving are fuzzy at best. This Valentine’s Day we’re bringing that theory into reality by offering you something for yourself, just for giving something to someone else. Every order over $50 placed between January 20, 2010 and February 14, 2010 will receive FREE SHIPPING and a coupon for $10 off your next order. Give this month, and get back next month. Everyone wins. more information

About.com Review of Better Than Chocolate

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Our own sex toy nerd boy Cory Silverberg has reviewed Better Than Chocolate for his other, less democratic and personally meaningful, job at About.com.

Obviously we're biased since we like Cory and we love Better Than Chocolate (or the other way around) but we tip our hats to anyone who can incorporate both the words "onomatopoeia" and "harbinger" in a review for a clitoral vibrator.

Check out Cory's review

Check out Better Than Chocolate

Celebrity Lezbian Fists

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Celebrity Lezbian Fist is a limited edition series of silicone fists cast from the actual hands of famed and favourite queer cultural icons. The series includes fists by Harmony Hammond, GB Jones, Eileen Myles, Cheryl Dunye, Cathy Opie, Jack Halberstam, and Savoy Kapow Howe. Inspired by the infamous cock-castings by rock groupie Cynthia Plaster Caster, the fists come in a range of punchy colours personally selected by each participant. Each "model" was made in a limited edition of 25. These celebrity fists are mostly art, but are made of 100% silicone and are use-able. Made with love in Canada by Happy Valley and Paige Gratland.

Special thanks to the celebrities behind the fists for the bios below!

Harmony Hammond

Harmony Hammond is an artist, art writer and independent curator who lives and works in Galisteo, New Mexico. Considered a pioneer of the feminist art movement, she lectures, writes and publishes extensively on feminist art, lesbian art, and the cultural representation of difference.

Hammond's work is in the permanent collections of many museums including the Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC; the Museum of Modern Art, NYC; the Walker Art Center, Mpls., MN; the Brooklyn Museum; the National Museum of Women in the Arts, Washington, DC; the Art Institute of Chicago; the Phoenix Art Museum; the New Mexico Museum of Fine Arts, Santa FE, NM; and the Wadsworth Atheneum, Hartford, CN.

Her book Wrappings: Essays on Feminism, Art & the Martial Arts (TSL Press,1984), a classic on 70s feminist art, is out-of-print. Her ground-breaking book Lesbian Art in America: A Contemporary History (Rizzoli, 2000) received a Lambda Literary Award.

GB Jones

G.B. Jones is an openly queer, self-made in the punk rock tradition, artist, film maker, rock musician, writer and publisher of zines. The writer Kevin Killian asked, "If we call G.B. Jones the 'female Tom of Finland,' what doe' that say about the American fantasy of unlimited sex, power, and class privilege both artists satirize and pull apart?"

G.B. Jones has an uneasy fascination with authority and uses her gender and sexual preference to exploit fantasies of rock & roll, sex, groupies, booze, drugs, money, leather, torn jeans,motorcycles and stardom as an all out assault against values that would strive for assimilation of queer culture into the mainstream. She's every queer girl and boy's hero, whether you want her to be or not. Believe it or don't, she is looking out for every queer's best interests.

Eileen Myles

Eileen Myles was born in Boston in 1949, attended catholic schools in Arlington, Mass. and graduated from UMass (Boston) in 1971. She came to New York in 1974 to be a poet. Since then she's become widely known in writing circles, art circles, queer circles and beyond as one of the most restless interpreters of the American vernacular, moving fluidly from the poetry to writing novels, essays and plays, art reviews, performances and libretti, and perhaps most notably as someone with an uncanny knack as John Ashbery put it, for making people feel uncomfortable and awake=85chanting softlyand beautifully the harsh if humorous realities that combine to make whatever life a poet can piece together today.

Eileen will be touring the Iceland book widely in this fall in North America, Iceland and Europe. She's toured with Sister Spit in 1997 and in 2007 and looks forward to more. She is a Professor Emeritus of writing & Literature at UC San Diego where she taught from 2002 to 2007. In Spring 2010 she will be the Hugo Writer at U. of Montana in Missoula. She contributes to a wide number of publications including Parkett, The Believer, Vice, Cabinet, The Nation, Art Forum, TimeOut, Book Forum and Another Magazine. She received an Andy Warhol/Creative Capital art writers' grant for Iceland. She will be blogging bi-weekly on the Harriet site for the Poetry Foundation till the end of September. She lives in New York.

Cheryl Dunye

Cheryl Dunye is a director, screenwriter, and filmmaker whose work explores issues of race, class, gender, and sexual orientation.

Her work is characteristically postmodern in the self-referential disclosing of Dunye's role as both actor and director. Combining intensely personal accounts with humor, Dunye's films and videos are engaging and provocative, revealing the complexities and struggles she has faced, as well as her happiness and pride, in being an African-American lesbian.

Cheryl Dunye, who graduated with an MFA from Rutgers University, has been a video art practitioner for well over a decade, making such pieces as She Don't Fade, Vanilla Sex, The Potluck and the Passion, and Greetings from Africa.

Cathy Opie

Catherine Opie was born in 1961 in Ohio. She received her MFA from CalArts in 1988. Her solo exhibitions include LA Freeways (San Francisco) and Being and Having (New York). Her work has appeared in group exhibitions from Pari' to Australia to New Orleans, including the 1995 Whitney Museum Biennial in New York and In a Different Light at the University Art Museum in Berkeley in 1995. She lives in Los Angeles and is on the staff of the University of California, Irvine.

In the late eighties to mid-nineties Opie gained national attention for her large format portraits of dyke daddies, gay male performance transvestites, FTM transexuals, tattooed and scarified gay men and lesbians and other members of a social milieu where sexual identity is most dramatically thrown into question. In a non-confrontational manner, Opie's places her subjects clearly and calmly in the center of focus. Her subjects appear to reverse the gaze--outwardly toward the viewer.

Jack Halberstam

Judith Jack Halberstam is Professor of English and Director of The Center for Feminist Research at USC. Halberstam teaches courses in queer studies, gender theory, art, literature and film.

Halberstam is the author of Female Masculinity, The Drag King Book, Skin Shows: Gothic Horror and the Technology of Monsters and a new book from NYU Press titled In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives.es, gender theory, art, literature and film.

Savoy Howe

Savoy Howe founded the Toronto Newsgirls Boxing Club in 1996.

Savoy started boxing at the Toronto Newsboys Boxing Club at Broadview and Eastern in 1992. At that time there were few females in the boxing gym. After training for a year Savoy participated in the first sanctioned bout for women organized by Toronto in 1993. Wearing the Toronto Newsboys t-shirt in competition, Savoy decided that one day she would fight wearing a Toronto Newsgirls t-shirt.

In 1996 when the Toronto Newsboys moved to the corner of Queen and Greenwood and became the Unitas Boxing Club, named after the Newsboys founder, Tony Unitas, Savoy started teaching as a way of supplementing income so she could keep training. She put up posters weekly to advertise the women=EF=BF?s boxing program and within a short time 40 women signed up. Thus began the Toronto Newsgirls Boxing Club.

Savoy Kapow! Howe has been honoured with the individual/community award for accomplishments in the calendar years 2005 and 2006. Three individuals and three organizations will be honoured. These awards recognize exceptional achievements that break through traditional barriers and pave the way for girls and women to participate in sports and physical activity at every level.

Savoy has also been honoured with an award from Pride Toronto recognizing outstanding contributions that have made an extraordinary impact on the quality of human experience within the queer community over the last year.

Eli Clare in Toronto

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We're thrilled to be sponsoring three events in Toronto featuring the poet, activist, educator Eli Clare. The last one is much more than Eli, it's an afternoon of performance featuring some awesome Toronto performers. Hope you can check one or more than one of these out.

************************
Reading At York University
Thursday, January 28th, 1pm – 4pm
Vanier College 010, Senior Common Room

Reading by Eli Clare from two of his books, Exile and Pride: Disability,
Queerness, and Liberation and The Marrow’s Telling: Words in Motion.

This poetry reading and meet and greet aims at discussing, celebrating,
complicating and engaging the intersections of transsexuality, desire and
ability. Clare’s reading provides a medium for those engaged in his work to
be empowered by their own strengths and bodies, abilities and desires.

FREE ADMISSION! This event is open to the public and is physically and
socially accessible:
• Wheelchair access
• Comfortable safe space

FREE Refreshments & snacks after the event! RSVP so that we may account for
space and food. For additional information, accessibility requests and RSVP
please contact the Access Centre – Able York Office: yaccess@yorku.ca or
416-736-2100 ext. 77612

Sponsors: Graduate Program in Critical Disabilities Studies, York University
Students for Barrier-free Access, University of Toronto, Come As You Are

**************************

Symposium: “Disability and Sexuality: Globalizing Perspectives”
Friday, January 29, 8:30 am ? 4:30 pm
500 University Avenue, Room 132

Eli is giving the keynote at this one day symposium sponsored by the International Centre for Disability and Rehabilitation

Event is wheelchair accessible, ASL interpretation and captioning.

Tickets available through UofTtix box office, 416?978?8849 or www.uofttix.ca

*************************
in/visible unicorn: an afternoon of performances exploring & exposing imagination, bodies and representation.
Sunday, January 31, 2:00pm - 5:00pm
buddies in bad times theatre, 2 Alexander st

Perfomers include: Eli Clare, Onyinyechukwu (Onyii) Udegbe. Jorge Vallejos, Kenji Tokawa
Tara-Michelle Ziniuk, Big Appetite formerly known as the fat femme mafia, Griffin Epstein
GIMP boot camp a video written, directed, produced and edited by Melisa Brittain and Danielle Peers
& possibly more.

Event is wheelchair accessible, we're still working on ASL interpretation, and it's free or pay what you can.

More details at: http://www.facebook.com/#/event.php?eid=287847905069&ref=ts

Writer Looking for Multiple Orgasmers

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

A local author we know and love asked us to pass this along:

Writer, Claudia Dey, is looking for first hand accounts from multi-orgasmic men and from women with multi-orgasmic male partners for her book, 'How To Be A Bush Pilot: A Field Guide to the Secrets of Female Pleasure.' All contributions will be confidential. Please email: madamebalcony@gmail.com before January 21.

choice porn title of the week - feb 5

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Snort that Cum. I’m finding it a little tough to come up with something to say about this. Maybe it’s just that there’s too much to say about it. In my mind, I’m equally appalled and intrigued, and I also find it a bit funny. Funny how? Cause the penis placed on the plate beside the blonde looks a little to me like an animal stopping at a lake to quench its thirst. I’m assuming it’s placed there to provide something for the ‘starlet’ to ‘snort’, but I don’t see it that way. And how healthy is it to put a semi-liquid (?) material up your nose? I read another porn review’s thoughts about this film (they had actually watched it), and they had mentioned that it would probably be much easier to achieve the…uhh…desired results if a straw had been employed instead of dollar bills, but let’s not get too picky here. What an industry.

choice porn title of the week - jan 29

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Old Enough for Porn, Too Young to Drink. Depending on where these girls are from, the casting dudes have a very narrow window in which to scout talent…In QC, AB, and MB, this phenomenon of being (legally) able to do porn and (legally) able to drink is nonexistent. But I guess they are American. Still, it’s funny. The title itself makes me think that if you’re old enough to do one, you should be old enough to do the other. Luckily I’m legal to do both.

choice porn title of the week - jan 22

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

I Was Tight Yesterday might be a familiar series to those in the porn world, but…volume 7 has taken it that much further with adding this to the front box cover: “When the Brothas’ are Done, You’ll Need a 2x4 Strapped to Your Ass So You Don’t Fall In!” (note the fancy, fancy grammar and capitalization). Who is going to fall in where? A penis is going to fall into her vagina/ass unless it has a piece of wood attached to its butt? It conjures up some strange imagery for me. Why blast that across the front cover? I reckon it’s probably better not to ask.

Choice Porn Title of the Week - jan 15

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Halloweiner: Friday the Fuckteenth. It might be a little bit off-season, but I found this gem around October of last year, and I think that it was just something about the title that I found appealed to my weird sense of humour. I mean, even parody porn titles and funny porn have titles that can still be in the least bit sexy (ok, so not in every case, but whatever). I guess they’re trying to play into the “fuck-teen” element. But Halloweiner just gets me every time. Brilliant.

Become a Sex Toy Reviewer and Win!

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

No one can tell you what sex toy you’re going to love, what erotica collection will turn your pages, or what porn title will spin your disc. It’s why our number one tip for first time sex toy shoppers is start cheap and versatile. But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from others experiences, and we’re consistently told by customers that they use other customer reviews to make decisions about what to buy.

Whether that’s a good move or not, we’re happy to help, and we want to encourage you to do the same. Which is why we’re offering a weekly draw for great prizes, available only to people who take a few minutes to add their review to our site.

Here’s how it works.

1. First, you need to create an account for yourself on comeasyouare.com. That part is easy, just click “register” in the top right corner of the site and follow the instructions.

2. Next, make sure you’re logged on (you know you’re logged on because you’ll see your user name in the top right corner).

3. Now you’re ready to review. Just navigate to a toy, book, or DVD you’ve used, read, or watched, click the “more” button to get to the product page, and enter your review.

Every review gets you a chance to win. There’s no limit to the number of products you can review, and the more you review, the greater your chances are of winning the weekly draw.

Start reviewing!

Call-Out for Trans Conference in Peterborough, Ontario

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

Call-Out for Trans Conference

***
Bodies of Dissent: Transform
March 12-14th, Peterborough, ON

***

Transmission, the organizers of last year’s Bodies of Dissent: TransAccess conference, invite trans and gender variant communities, individuals and allies to submit proposals for workshops and presentations of various forms for the upcoming Trans conference.

Bodies of Dissent: TransForm will be focused on developing strategies and networks to change individuals, communities, organizations and systems. We are issuing a call to action to unite to build communities of empowerment and change.

Please send a proposal outlining the nature of your workshop, presentation or creative project specifying the topic or focus, as well as any materials and/or accommodations required. Workshops, presentation, films and creative projects will be happening during March 12th and 13th, accompanied by performances in the evenings. Interested performers are also encouraged to contact us.

E-mail bodiesofdissent@gmail.com with Proposals, Ideas, Questions

** Proposals are due Monday, January 18th **

--
Transmission Peterborough is dedicated to creating and maintaining a positive Trans presence in the Peterborough community by creating safe and accessible space for Trans and gender-variant people through education and awareness initiatives. With increased visibility, we hope to create a more Trans-friendly environment so that Trans and gender-variant people can have a dignified experience.

Toronto Symposium: "Disability and Sexuality: Globalizing Perspectives”

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

There aren't many professional opportunities for folks interested in sexuality and disability, no matter where you live. In Toronto we have something maybe once every two or three years, so when we heard about this one day symposium being organized by the International Centre for Disability and Rehabilitation, we got in touch and offered to help. Come As You Are has been helping out with organizing and programming, and I'm going to moderate a morning panel.

I'm assuming there will be a a rehabilitation focus at this one, but the keynote speaker is simply one of the best speakers (and thinkers) in the areas of disability, gender, sexuality, trans, and queer issues. Funny, smart, powerful every time I see him. And lots of great people on the panels, so it should be interesting. Of course it will be more interesting with more folks from different perspectives attending.

The event is wheelchair accessible, ASL interpretation will be provided, as well as captioning.

Early bird registration ($60) ends next Tuesday. You can download the flyer here, and information below:

2010 Symposium: “Disability and Sexuality: Globalizing Perspectives”
Friday, January 29, 2010
8:30 am ? 4:30 pm
500 University Avenue, Room 132

Keynote Address: “Pity, Stereotypes, and Access: Disabled People Navigating Sex”
Eli Clare, activist and poet
White, disabled, and genderqueer, Eli Clare has a B.A. in Women's Studies and a M.F.A. in Creative
Writing. He has spoken all over the United States about disability, queer and trans identities, and social
justice issues. Eli is the author of a book of essays entitled Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness, and
Liberation and the poetry collection The Marrow's Telling: Words in Motion, and has been published in
many periodicals and anthologies.

Agenda in brief:
Morning panel: Reflections on Disability and Sexuality
Speakers include experts Loree Erickson (York University), Frank Folino (Ontario Rainbow Alliance of
the Deaf) and Sheryl Newman (Canadian Paraplegic Association), Moderator: Cory Silverberg

Lunch (provided)

Afternoon panel: Reflections on Working with People With Disabilities in Poor Countries
Speakers include Deb Cameron (Trinidad Working Group) and Lynn Cockburn (Cameroon Working Group), Moderator: Fran Odette

Looking Forward: Implications for the Field and for Us, Stephanie Nixon (ICDR Academic Director)

Conclusions: Meeting of Minds

Fee:
Early bird (Jan. 12) registration: $60
Early bird (Jan. 12) students: $25

After January 12:

Registration: $75
Students: $40

Tickets available at UofTtix box office, 416?978?8849 and online at uofttix.ca

Survey on Invisible Chronic Illness - Lesbian and bisexual women, and Trans people

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

We wanted to pass along this call for participants. I wasn't aware of the acronym "ICI" for invisible chronic illnesses, but the experience of being disabled or living with a chronic illness or disability that isn't immediately apparent to others is one that is so far in the closet, in terms of most people's understanding of it, that any well thought out research would surely be a help in generating public discussion and awareness. I understand the need for research to focus, but also have to say it's a bit of a shame that they aren't open to hearing from people of all genders, it's not as if there's a lot of great qualitative research on invisible chronic illness at all. But getting this post reminded me of a fabulous post I read on FWD/Forward about Invisible Disability Bingo.

Here's the call for participants, information about the researcher is at the bottom:

The purpose of this survey is to gather information regarding the challenges faced by lesbian, bisexual and queer women, and transgendered and transsexual people who live with invisible chronic illnesses.

You do not have to have a formal medical diagnosis to fill out this survey. However, you must have an invisible chronic physical condition. Invisible chronic illnesses (ICIs) share a number of characteristics regardless of diagnosis. Some of these characteristics are: non-observable symptoms (i.e. pain, fatigue, cognitive difficulty), some symptoms are immeasurable, sometimes people appear well, and the illness has periods of exacerbation and remission. There are many ICIs. A few examples are: multiple sclerosis, arthritis, HIV, fibromyalgia, lupus, and irritable bowel syndrome.

If you are not sure whether you are living with an ICI we still want to hear from you. Please fill out the survey. There will be room at the end for comments and you can let us know there why you are not sure.

You also must reside in Canada since the results of the survey will be used to advocate for change within the Canadian medical system and for community-based services. It does not matter whether you are a Canadian citizen, permanent resident, refugee claimant, temporary worker, or undocumented. As well, you must be at least 18 years old.

This survey is anonymous. You are not requested to provide your name to participate. Any identifying information you provide will be altered to ensure confidentiality. Your privacy will be protected.

The results of this survey will be presented at the Rainbow Health Ontario 2010 Conference to raise awareness regarding ICIs and to start a conversation that will lead to change regarding the services needed for lesbian, bisexual, and queer women and trans people living with ICIs. To find out more about Rainbow Health Ontario go to: http://www.rainbowhealthontario.ca/

Additionally, results from this survey may be used for publication to raise awareness and/or advocate for change.

The survey takes between 20 and 30 minutes to fill out. Here is the link:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/icisurvey

The survey will be online until February 21, 2010.

About the researcher

The researcher is Silvana Bazet. This survey was designed by Silvana with the input of a Community Advisory Committee. Silvana is a lesbian and lives with an undiagnosed ICI. She is also a psychotherapist in private practice and Clinical Member of the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists. To find out more about Silvana go to: http://torontopsychotherapy.wordpress.com

Should you have any questions or comments, please contact Silvana at: queericisurvey@gmail.com

The survey is also available in Word to be printed and distributed to those who may not have access to a computer. Please contact Silvana to obtain a copy.

Sex Toy Safety in Canada, A Response to Hon. Dr. Carolyn Bennett

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

When we first read the Hon. Dr. Carolyn Bennett’s letter to the Federal Minister of Health, Leona Aglukkaq about the regulation of sex toys in Canada we weren’t sure how to feel about it. We were thrilled to see an MP talking about sexuality, and talking about sex toys in a way that wasn’t questioning an individual’s right to use them (such a change from what we hear from our American colleagues and customers).

But as we got talking about it pretty quickly we realized something wasn’t sitting right with us. The letter and the subsequent media coverage framed the issues in an incredibly narrow way (women are the only ones who use sex toys? Sex toy regulation represents an “urgent” health issue?) Equally upsetting for us as activists was what we see a lack of thinking through on the part of retailers calling for regulation. If sex toys were to somehow be regulated for health safety reasons, this could very likely lead to a further medicalization of sexual pleasure, something we’re already fighting on a few fronts. We remain unconvinced that the government is the place to turn for complicated understandings of sexual health and pleasure, particularly for those of us who experience marginalization based on gender and/or sexuality.

We knew we had to speak up, so we collectively drafted this letter which we’ve sent to the minister. Whether she responds, or this issue goes anywhere, it’s our hope that any further public discussion about the issue will include not just a small group of relatively affluent Canadians, but any of us who want to be heard. We also encourage you to contact the minister directly with words of support, comment, or concern. Dr. Bennett has an admirable track record of raising difficult issues and fighting for women’s sexual and reproductive health.

We hope you’ll join us in helping her widen her vision and begin a larger and more complicated conversation about sexual pleasure, health, and sex toy safety in Canada.

You can see the letter we sent here, or keep reading the less official looking, no letterhead version below.

****

Hon. Dr. Carolyn Bennett
Community Office
1650 Yonge Street, Suite 103
Toronto, Ontario M4T 2A2

Tuesday January 5, 2010

Dear Hon. Dr. Bennett:

We are writing to thank you for your recent interest in sexual health concerns related to the sex toy industry in Canada. We are pleased to hear of your commitment to raising awareness of sexual well-being and are impressed and excited by your statements encouraging our government not to shy away from discussions on matters such as sex toys because of potential personal discomfort.

We hope that your actions will give way to a larger national discussion on these matters. And it’s in that spirit that we wanted to share some of our concerns about the way these issues are being framed both in your letter and in the media.

Our first concern is the framing of sex toy safety as an issue of concern to only, or primarily to women. A recently published article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that only slightly more women than men (52% vs. 45%) use vibrators [1]. But more importantly we don’t believe that binary gender divisions are useful here. For-profit retailers may choose to market to a specific demographic, but as a co-operatively run sex store that represents Canadians of multiple genders, orientations, and identities, we can tell you that men, women, trans folk, people who don’t feel like they fit in any of those categories, and people who identify as straight, gay, bisexual, and otherwise have been using sex toys for decades, and they are equally affected by sex toy safety. We’d like to propose that as we begin this conversation we invite everyone to participate, not only those with established political or financial clout.

Our second concern is about ideas of regulation, safety, and access. We’re sure you agree with us that safety and risk exist on a continuum. The question that your letter poses for us is this: who benefits and who loses if only those products that carry zero risk are permitted to be sold? The toys that are currently being raised as potentially toxic represent those that are more affordable, while the toys that are being held up as safer are financially out of reach for many of us. While we agree that further research should be done to determine the safety of sex toy materials, we are concerned that banning all but those that carry zero risk may be akin to demanding that we all eat organic--while this might be ideal, approaching the issue by simply banning all others produces risks leaving many hungry. At Come As You Are we believe that less expensive products increase accessibility to sexual exploration and health. We believe that informing consumers of the risks and teaching them how to protect themselves (for example, using condoms on toys) is preferable to attempting to ban all but the most expensive of products.

Finally, while we appreciate how difficult it is to prioritize health issues, we do want to propose that in Canada we have other, more urgent, sexual health issues, issues that are already well identified by research, and that arguably impact a larger number of Canadians. We are thinking of the fact that Indigenous women in this country continue to be many times more likely to die of cervical cancer than their Non-Indigenous counterparts[2] ; that abortions continue to be inaccessible to women across the nation, but in particular to women living in the north[3] ; and that HIV in Canada continues to disproportionately affect specific populations, such as men who have sex with men and Aboriginal peoples[4] .

While we care deeply and passionately about sex toys and their implication in sexual health, we believe that the above issues perhaps deserve more attention than the likely impossible task of regulating a largely undefined and under-researched product category such as sex toys.

We’d like to join with you and ensure that these issues and the many other sexual health issues facing Canadians today receive the time, funding, and consideration they are due.

Thank you again for raising this important issue. We look forward to the opportunity to discuss this with you in the future..

Wishing you a happy new year,

Ignacia Black, Annanda DaSilva, Charlotte Henderson, Holly Hirst, Reese Jones, gill lamon, Sarah Forbes-Roberts, Cory Silverberg
Come As You Are Co-operative.

References:

1. Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Sanders, S.A., et. al. "Prevalence and Characteristics of Vibrator Use by Women in the United States: Results from a Nationally Representative Study" Journal of Sexual Medicine. Vol. 6, No. 7 (2009):1857 – 1866.

2. National Aboriginal Health Organization. Cancer of the Cervix in North American Indian Women: A literature review. First Nations Centre, October 2006. Accessed 12/28/09.

3. Shaw, Jessica. Reality Check: A Close Look at Accessing Abortion Services in Canadian Hospitals. Canadians for Choice Report Launch National Press Club. April 2nd 2007. Accessed 12/27/09.

4. Smith, Michael R. HIV in Canada: Trends and Issues for Advancing Prevention, Care, Treatment and Support through Knowledge Exchange. Centre for Infectious Disease Prevention & Control, PHAC. Accessed 1/1/10.

Sexuality, Disability, and Attendant Services Survey

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The Sexuality and Access Project is a Trillium funded community research project that is looking into the ways that folks who use attendant services and their attendants deal with negotiating sexual requests.

If you need attendant services you probably need your attendant to assist with some aspects of sexual expression (whether that’s dressing up the way you want, going out to a strip club or bar, a sex party or sex store, etc….)

But attendants receive no training and little guidance on what is and isn’t part of their job, and if you use attendant services you’ve probably never had any training or guidance on how to talk with an attendant about sex.

This project is an initial effort at addressing these lacks and developing training and resources for both attendants and people who use attendant services.

If you use attendant services, they want to hear from you. You can fill out a survey here (you’ll have to cut and paste the URL, sometimes the link doesn’t work):

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6TPRSRR

If you need assistance in filling out a survey, or would be able to participate in a phone survey, please contact the project coordinator, Fran Odette, at the information below.

There is also a survey for attendants. If you know of attendants who you think would be interested in completing the survey, they will have to cut and paste that survey address below and paste into their server. It should take them directly to the attendant survey:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/V7TSFYD

To learn more about the project or to receive a version of the online survey in alternate format, contact

Fran Odette, Project Coordinator at 416-968-3422 Ext. 30 or at f.odette@gmail.com

This project is done in partnership with the Centre for Independent Living in Toronto, Niagara Centre for Independent Living, and Independent Centre and Network

Cheaters Never Prosper?

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Our local conservative rag the Toronto Sun has been having a field day with the ~~major press release~~ minor story about cheaters website Ashley Madison getting their ads rejected by the Toronto public transit service, the TTC. If you haven't heard about, I'd recommend the saliva-free version from the CBC.

Since anyone who deals with advertising knows that the TTC is one of the most conservative ad vendors it’s clear that this was a stunt from the beginning to get the website free publicity for being publicly censored. So if you believe that success is measured in dollars and uncritical eyeballs then you’d have to say bravo to the ad agency who came up with the idea.

But if your standards for living a decent, thoughtful or dare I say ethical life are a little bit more substantial the whole thing is just sad and it also seems counter intuitive to a long run business strategy.

Why is it sad? It’s sad because this site isn’t actually about helping people explore healthy sexual or relational experiences. It’s about “infidelity” and cheating, which by definition involve deception and lies. The ad that they claim they wanted to run read “Life is short…have an affair”. But since the affair they are referencing explicitly includes lying about it, the ad should just read “Life is short…lie to someone”. And why anyone would want to defend someone’s right to lie in a situation where telling the truth poses no observable danger, I can’t imagine.

In their publicity materials and interviews the website does a great job of using neo-liberal ideology to suggest that cheating is a kind of personal empowerment that only “the man” would want to take away from you. They position themselves as social radicals. What they really are are financial opportunists.

I hope it goes without saying that being a member of a sex store worker co-op means that I have no problem with sex. I’m all for people having any kind of consensual sex they want. I’m also not particularly judgmental of individuals who find themselves deceiving people they love. I’ve done it (although not about sex) and I think most of us do it at some point in our lives. But doing it or not judging those who do it is not the same thing as encouraging people to do it, and glamorizing it. It’s also not the same thing as equating cheating with “non family values”. If you know anything about the real lives of families you know that cheating is often there in the mix. It may not be ideal, but the construction of a perfect family is no more helpful than the construction of an empowered sexuality that is based on lies and deception.

As for the business plan, the website in question is privately owned so there’s no way of knowing how successful they are or how desperate they are. Compare their Alexa stats to other dating websites and they don’t look so hot. And I’m not sure that their efforts to get mainstream media attention are the way to go. You’d think the cheating business would be one that trades in discretion. I know that if I wanted to have sex with a stranger and I was in a monogamous relationship I wouldn’t go to the cheating website I know that myself, my partner, all my neighbors, and my entire office, just heard about on the radio. I’d probably look for more of a boutique cheating website (one that wasn’t featured on The View and Ellen, one that wasn’t collecting all my personal information and selling it to market researchers). Is this a business that benefits in the long run from that kind of publicity?

Of course how interested in long term growth could a company whose services are almost guaranteed to make their customers unhappy in the long run, really be?

The What You Really Wanted Sale

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We can't help but love any tradition that encourages giving to others, but we're even bigger fans of self-love and firmly believe that one should do unto oneself as good as or better than one does on to order!

In the spirit of giving, we're making self-pleasuring less painful with our boxing week sale. In store, check out our wheel-o-deals for your chance to win prizes and discounts! Online, save 5% when you spend $50, 10% on $100, and a whopping 20% on $200!

Last Day for Free Holiday Shipping

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Wrap it up! Today is the last day all Canadian orders get free Canada Post XpressPost shipping, and orders over $100 also receive a special gift which you can keep for your self or stuff in someone else's stocking! XpressPost orders must be placed by Tuesday, December 22 at 9AM to ensure holiday delivery, Next Day orders can be placed anytime up to December 23rd at 3PM EST. | more ordering information

Help Save the Toronto Women's Bookstore

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We just got this email from our friends at the Toronto Women's Bookstore.

Dear TWB community,

The Toronto Women's Bookstore is in crisis and we need your help!

Independent businesses and bookstores have been closing their doors this
year, and after 36 years it is possible that we will have to do the same if
we are not able to raise enough money to survive. TWB is one of the only
remaining non-profit feminist bookstores in North America, but despite all
of the events, courses, workshops, community resources and additional
services we offer, the fact that we are a store means that we do not receive
any outside funding and rely entirely on sales and the support of our
customers to stay in business.

Over the past few years, our sales have not been enough to sustain us and
this is why we are coming to you, our community, for help. If every one of
you donated $10 we would raise enough to keep going for 3 months, $20 each
would keep us in business for 6 months, and $30 each would be enough for us
to keep our doors open, hopefully for good. All donations will go directly
towards covering the bookstore's costs, and are a part of a larger plan of
action and structural change to make the business sustainable in the current
economy.

In the past, when feminist bookstores were closing down all across North
America, the support of the community is what kept TWB alive. You are the
reason that we are still here today, and we believe that with your help we
can once again work together to save this organization where so many of us
as readers, writers, feminists, artists, and activists have found a home.

You can make donations over the phone, on our website
www.womensbookstore.com (paypal link available soon), or in person at the
store. As a non-profit store we are not eligible for charitable status and
cannot offer tax receipts, but we are hoping to be able to offer tax
receipts for donations over $100 in collaboration with a non-profit charity
who shares our mandate, and we will have that information available on our
website and in store as soon as possible.

You can also help by spreading the word to your friends and community,
contacting us if you know of any funding we might be eligible for, promoting
this fundraising drive in your paper or on your blog, website or radio show,
organizing your own save the bookstore fundraisers or just passing the hat
at your holiday parties, giving a TWB donation as a gift, and of course,
coming in and bringing all your friends to the store for some holiday
shopping!

Thank you all for your support,
The Toronto Women's Bookstore Board, Staff & Volunteers

12 Days of Sex Toys: Ten Lords A-leaping

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Our anal sex toys are exciting enough to inspire a hop, skip, and maybe jump. But add a little vibration your favourite butt plug, prostate massager, or dildo, and we promise your lord will be a-leaping with delight.
Vibrating Anal Toys

12 Days of Sex Toys: Nine Ladies Dancing

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Dance to the beat of your own choosing with OhMiBod’s innovative vibrators, powered by music. Their newest toy, the Freestyle, is the first wireless music massager, dance, and orgasm cord-free at home, at the clubs, or, if you want to live dangerously, at your office holiday party.

OhMiBod: Music Directed Vibration

12 Days of Sex Toys - Eight Maids A-milking

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We weren’t the ones to come up with the term “prostate milking”, but we couldn’t pass up a double entendre like this one. Forget about the g-spot analogies, the prostate is a unique pleasure centre for many men, and these prostate massagers were built for the job, and built to last.
Prostate Massagers

12 Days of Sex Toys - Twelve Drummers Drumming

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Nothing keeps those cheeks rosy in the winter like a little playful percussive love (aka flogging, spanking, caning, whipping). Check out our selection of pleasure implements that will help you set the rhythm of your passion all year long.

Floggers, Paddles, and Crops

12 Days of Sex Toys: Eleven Pipers Piping

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

With all the erecting activity our products inspire, sometimes we feel like we should be wearing hard hats to work. We don't have one favourite way to our lover's pipes a-piping, but we want to single out the impressive number of educational books and videos that offer oral sex tips, guaranteed to arouse and engorge genitals of all styles.
Oral Sex DVDs and Oral Sex Books

Synergy and Rhythm: OXFAM/ArtCorps Fundraiser

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

From Toronto-based, Columbia-born artist Monica Gutierrez:

THE CAUSE: In El Salvador, one out of every three women is a victim of violence. Young women between the ages of 15 and 29 years are most often targeted, typically by male relatives and teachers. Despite growing awareness about the problem of violence against women in Latin America, public policies still lack a gender perspective and police, prosecutors and other authorities continue to use discriminatory terms and practices in cases of murdered women and violence against women.

In response, ArtCorps is initiating a new partnership with Oxfam America and the Gender-based Violence Prevention Campaign in El Salvador. ArtCorps is sending Colombian-born, Toronto-based artist Monica Gutierrez to fill a volunteer position in order to empower communities in building stronger, more peaceful societies by using participatory arts as a strategy for education and engagement. Monica will also strive to perpetuate the use of participatory art as an innovative tool for empowering and educating communities among non-governmental organizations.

OXFAM/ArtCorps Fundraiser
WHEN: Sunday, December. 20th, 2009
WHERE: Teranga African Bar & Restaurant (159 Augusta Ave), 5:00PM
PWYC, suggested $10.00 donation payable at door.

Performing:
- "The Resolutionaries" Zimbabwe Marimba band led by Chaka Chikodzi with Africville Productions (http://www.africville.net/)
- Jadea Kelly (http://jadea.ca/)
- Capoeira dance performance (Open roda)
- DJ Soulquest

12 Days of Sex Toys - A Partridge in a Pear Tree

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

In some versions of this classic song, the last day is also for “true love”. Our suggestion for today isn’t something you buy at all. It’s just that you spend some time today, and hopefully over the rest of the holidays, doing something to take care of yourself and give yourself a little bit of pleasure, however you define it. The holidays aren’t always a time we remember to take care of ourselves, but taking time out of your day to show yourself a little love and pleasure can go a long way toward making the holiday season more manageable.

Happy holidays from all of us at Come As You Are!

12 Days of Sex Toys - Two Turtle Doves

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Migrate away from heteronormativity (because turtle doves migrate…get it?) and surprise the man in your life with a turning of the tables. Also known as Bend Over Boyfriend or pegging, more and more straight-identified guys are discovering the pleasures of being penetrated by their female partners. Let your fears fly away and glide into this comfy harness and dildo set designed just for this kind of play.

Bend Over Beginner Kit

12 Days of Sex Toys -Three French Hens

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Domesticated or not, we know how French hens love their independent cinema, and we know if they could watch porn, they’d be clucking their way through the ever growing genre of alt and indie porn. Satisfy your craving for something different...

Alternative and Indie Porn

12 Days of Sex Toys - Five Golden Rings

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

This one’s almost too easy. We’re not sure you need five golden cock rings (unless you have five fellas on your shopping list) but rings can offer men a completely unique way of experiencing sex and rediscovering their genitals. Ring in the holidays right.

Penis Rings

12 Days of Sex Toys - Six Geese A-laying

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

All these geese getting laid got us thinking--if your goal is specifically to get laid, as opposed to just feeling sexual pleasure or getting turned on--what would we recommend? Since getting laid to us means sex with at least one other person, we’d have to go with our library of books written for two or more people. There’s no guarantee they’ll get you there, but if you get yourself there, they’ll help with what to do next!
Sex Books for Two or More

12 Days of Sex Toys - Seven Swans A-swimming

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

If we had to choose the single greatest, yet possibly the simplest, innovation in sex toys over the past twenty years, we’d have to choose the waterproofing of vibrators. Waterproof sex toys are always a better choice, they’re easier to clean, more difficult to break, and you can use them in the snow!

Waterproof Sex Toys

Research on Pain During Intercourse in Kingston Area

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Last week I had the opportunity to speak with one of the researchers involved in some great work being done at Queens University looking at the experience of sexual pain during intercourse. They are still looking for participants and it sounds like a good opportunity for someone who is dealing with sexual pain to both get treatment for free and also help contribute to the development of a scientific literature on sexual pain. Here's the flyer, feel free to pass it along if you know anyone in the Kingston area who would qualify for the study.

Do You Have Pain During Sexual Intercourse?

Are You Looking For a Treatment Option For This Pain?

We are looking for women living in the Kingston area to participate in a study on the effectiveness of two non-medical treatment options for painful intercourse

Study Procedures:

gynaecological examination, interview, physical testing and assessment, 8 sessions of treatment (cognitive-behavioural therapy or pelvic floor physical therapy) over 12 weeks, and follow-up sessions

**Treatment provided free of charge** (compensation also provided)

All information is strictly confidential.

For more information, please contact the Sexual Health Research Lab: (613) 533-3276

or email: SHRL@queensu.ca

Investigators:

Caroline Pukall PhD, Linda McLean BScPT, PhD, Susan Chamberlain MD

Corrie Goldfinger, MSc, PhD Student, Stephanie Thibault-Gagnon BScPT, MSc Student

December 17th Speakout - Toronto Event to End Violence Against Sex Workers

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Maggie’s: The Toronto’ Sex Worker’s Action Project is hosting an event on December 17th, the 7th International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. From the flyer:

Join Maggie’s Toronto this December 17th 2009 – the 7th International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers for an open mic/speakout to share our experiences as sex workers who have faced violence and demand an end to the ongoing criminalization and other forms of violence in our work.

When: Thursday December 17th
Time: 7pm to 9pm
Where: Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Avenue

Opening remarks and Aboriginal Elder teachings will precede the speakout. This will be a facilitated speakout to ensure the safety and dignity of sex workers.

This is a sex worker positive event.
ALL ARE WELCOME

http://www.maggiestoronto.com/

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Nov 2, 2009

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Maybe it's just me, but I find women much more attractive when they don't have bags on their heads. But everyone's got their own thing, I guess. It must have been easier for the actual casting of the movie, and definitely much easier for the makeup artist. Might have been more work for whoever was making the props. Here's an idea for your halloween costumes. Make a porn star bj face on a paper bag (at least it's not plastic) and go as one of the lovely ladies from this movie.

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Dec 4, 2009

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Nov 13, 2009

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

No, you're not going to find a link to purchase this title on our website. It's just not going to happen. But since my job involves reviewing ALL the porn that's out there, I feel I have to share some of the worst titles with you...just so you know what you're missing :)

Nominated for 2009's AVNs for Clever Title of the Year, this series got my vote for best title for sure. It's just totally my sense of humour. Super cute and funny, but just not right as far as I'm concerned. Not that I don't totally dig porn featuring actors that are older than typical mainstream porn stars, it's the wanting to/attempting to be 18 thing that I don't like! The actual winner at the 2009 AVNs was this gem, which I would have featured in my weekly "I'd never sell this" feature, except it had it's time in the spotlight.

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Dec 11, 2009

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Wrap It Up and Save!

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

From December 1st to 11th all Canadian orders get free Canada Post XpressPost shipping, and orders over $100 receive a special gift (which you can gift along, or keep for yourself as a reward for getting all your shopping done early!) Check out our Holiday Sex Toys.

Sexuality Workshop for Youth with Brain Injuries

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Bloorview Kids Rehab, Canada's largest children's rehabilitation hospital, is running three great workshops in February on the topic of dating, sexuality, and relationships for youth with brain injuries.

All three workshops take place on February 16, 2010 at 7:00pm. One is for children 8-14, one for youth 15-25, and one for parents. Giving both parents and youth an opportunity to talk and ask questions without the other present is so important, and not having that kind of boundary is one of the big obstacles for youth living with disabilities around accessing sexual information.

All three workshops are free of charge, but you do have to register for them.

They have a brochure with more information and contact details to registers. The link below will download a pdf version of the brochure.

Sexuality, Safety & Smarts: A workshop about dating, sexuality & relationships after brain injury

Writer Looking for Strap-On Input

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

A Canadian playwright and author we know and love is working on a new book and asked if we would pass this along:

Writer, Claudia Dey, is looking for first hand accounts from women having strap-on sex with their male partners for her book, 'How To Be A Bush Pilot: A Field Guide to the Secrets of Female Pleasure.' All contributions will be confidential. Please email: madamebalcony@gmail.com before December 11.

Picture This! Young People, Disability and Sexual Health

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

If you're 18-24 and identify as disabled or live with a disability, or you know someone who is, check out this new project, it sounds amazing and is totally free!

Picture This! Young People, Disability and Sexual Health

Picture This! is a participatory action research study that will gather a small group of young people (age 18-24) with disabilities for a series of ten weekly workshops on sexuality, disability, sexual health, and the arts.

Why?
The needs, perspectives, and experiences of young people with disabilities tend to be overlooked in programs that promote positive sexuality and sexual health among youth. Yet young people with disabilities have lots to share, and they also have questions and concerns.

Who is involved?
We are a group of researchers from York, Ryerson, U of T, and Wilfred Laurier. We come from a variety of backgrounds and lived experiences in disability advocacy, sexuality, public health and public policy, sociology and the arts. The project is funded by the Center for Urban Health Initiatives (CUHI) and the Canadian Foundation for AIDS Research (CanFAR).

What is going on?
We are looking for young people with disabilities to volunteer to participate with us in 10 weekly workshops. If you are 18-24, have lived experience with disability, and would like to learn more, please contact us!

Volunteers will engage together as co-researchers in questioning, building knowledge, and creative expression in the ten weekly workshops. Co-researchers will help to choose and plan the activities, which may include:

•    Creating our own art, music, photography or performance pieces about disability and sexuality/sexual health
•    Critiquing advertisements and educational materials
•    Meeting and working with artists, including artists with disabilities
•    Learning about sexual health, safe sex, and HIV prevention
•    Learning about asserting ourselves in relationships
•    Discussing what positive sexuality means
•    Discussing and confronting the barriers to positive sexuality
•    Putting together a program or exhibit that highlights the perspectives of young people with disabilities

What does it cost?
These workshops are free. We will cover transportation and other expenses and make sure that all participants’ access and accommodation needs are met. We will provide snacks during meetings and an honorarium. Participating in these workshops can also count as community service hours, and we would be happy to provide letters of reference.

How do I learn more?
Please contact Devon Proudfoot, Program coordinator at:
Tel: 416 736 2100 ex. 20712
TTY: 416-650-8273
Email: picturethistoronto@gmail.com

Our Compass: A Night Exploring Disability, Sexuality and Gender Identity

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Griffin Centre's sprOUT project is an amazing multi-year effort supported by the Trillium Foundation which aims to increase information and access to services for youth who identify as LGBTQ and who are labelled with intellectual disabilities. I was part of a group that previewed the documentary they'll be screening at the AGO and it's awesome. Folks from Come As You Are will be there, and if you're in Toronto we highly recommend coming to check it out. It doesn't matter if you think this isn't relevant or isn't for you; if you are interested in sex and care about sexual rights (yours and others), then this IS for you. Here's the info. from the Griffin Centre:

Our Compass: A night exploring disability, sexuality and gender identity

Wednesday, October 21, 2009
6:00 - 8:00pm
LAL performance
Snacks Provided
FREE
Address: Art Gallery of Ontario, 317 Dundas St. W.,?                 Toronto, Ontario
Come check out a new art project featuring lesbian, ? gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ? labelled with intellectual disabilities.

Photo Exhibit! Artist Talk! Live Music!

Griffin Centre's sprOUT project is supported by:
    •    The Ontario Trillium Foundation
    •    Ministry of Children and Youth Services and Ministry of Community and Social Services, Children and Youth Mental Health Fund: Innovations Funding - Year 4
    •    Toronto Public Health, AIDS Prevention Community Investment Program

The AGO Youth Council is part of the AGO's Teens Behind the Scenes Program. Teens Behind the Scenes is generously supported by:
Lead Sponsor: ERICSSON
Generously Supported By:      Tippet Foundation
                                                The Lloyd Carr-Harris Foundation

Please RSVP to Chi Ching Hui at chui@griffin-centre.org

For more info contact Marcus Syrus Ware at syrus_ware@ago.net

7th Annual Regent Park Film Festival

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

There are thousands of reasons why I love living in Toronto. Here's one of them.

The Regent Park Film Festival is a community organized and run festival that focuses on films relevant to, by, and about new immigrants and new immigrant expeirences. Not only is the entire festival free of charge, but they offer free childcare. In other words, even though lots of people in Toronto are money grubbing, cold, and generally unhelpful, we've got even more people who are willing to put their time, money, and heart where their mouths are. From their release:

7th Annual Regent Park Film Festival
REEL IMAGES. REAL COMMUNITIES.

All screenings are free of charge and take place at Nelson Mandela Park Public School, 440 Shuter St.
Complimentary childcare is provided.

OPENING NIGHT: COMMUNITY STORIES YOUTH MEDIA ARTS PROGRAM
Wednesday November 4th @ 6pm
Join us for Regent Park's 7th annual film festival opening night, featuring films on hope, identity, and
immigration. Our young filmmakers come from various parts of Canada & the United States, including Regent Park. Their films reveal the challenges they confront as young filmmakers, and challenge viewers as well to experience these exciting new filmmakers diverse urban stories. New this year will be a talk back panel discussion, with filmmakers in attendance moderated by Fathima Fahmy of the Festival's Programming Committee.

CLOSING DAY HIGHLIGHTS
FAMILY PROGRAM, Sat. Nov. 7th @ 10 am
Back by popular demand, this yearís Family Program features films co-produced by Regent Park Film Festival and Upper Canada College through the Horizons Summer School Program for academically talented, inner city students grades 7-9. We are presenting films made this past summer, by 43 youth from Regent Park as well as films made for kids from around the world.
A pancake breakfast and childcare are included in the price of admission ñ Free!! Please come and join us.

DISPLACEMENT PROGRAM, Sat. Nov. 7th @ 1pm.
This program is an opportunity for residents living in Regent Park and Torontonians to discuss the impact of
redevelopment. This year, discussions will focus on displacement in Canada and China and what displacement means, when it's in your own land. Building 173 by Charlotte Mikkelborg and Pelqílic (Coming Home) by Celia Haig-Brown & Helen Haig-Brown will be shown followed by a presentation by the Toronto Council Fire Native Cultural Centre
Panel discussion to follow with guest filmmaker, Celia Haig Brown, Andrea Chrisjohn and Regent Park residents.

CLOSING NIGHT CEREMONY, Sat. Nov. 7th @ 7:30pm
We are honoured to screen Alwyn by Alwyn Barry, an extraordinary young Guyanese-Canadian filmmaker from Jane and Finch, who documented his battle with colon cancer and award winning and Oscar-nominated Hubert Davis brings us Invisible City, a moving story of two boys from Regent Park crossing into adulthood.

Please RSVP your attendance by October 21st @ 5pm with Richard Fung at rpffoutreach@gmail.com or 416.599.7733

Regent Park Film Festival Official Website

Nuit Blanche Spend the Night with Come As You Are (and half a million art lovers)

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Join us this Saturday night/Sunday morning the opening of Sweet Light Crude: Erotic Drawings & Paintings by Mallory Diaczun and Erin Finley. The art opening begins at 7PM and wil continue through the night in celebration of Nuit Blanche. Enter the erotic colouring competition, confess your sex secrets and win prizes from Come As You Are!

Toronto artist Mallory Diaczun, creator of Queen West’s most infamous dirty work "Jenna’s Colouring Book" (which features line drawings of porn star Jenna Jameson), is the headliner of the Girl + Girl show, striking a calculated balance between wit and candor. Mallory Diaczun has collaborated with fellow artist Erin Finley for this exhibition; Finley’s works, which complement Diaczun’s in terms of an approach to technique, offer glimpses into forbidden love. Both artists are interested in posing questions about sexual power and submission; the interchangeability of gender roles; and the garish spectacle of sex in popular culture. These two young women investigate what it means to fantasize about rap stars, tennis heroes, and the girls next door – all through feminist eyes.

International Sexuality and Disability Symposium in Toronto, Save the Date

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

If you live in Toronto, or are looking for a good reason to visit at the end of January (you know, aside from the balmy weather that time of year) mark January 29, 2010 on your calendar. The International Centre for Disability and Rehabilitation is holding a one day symposium on sexuality and disability. They've just started their planning but I'm helping out a bit so I've heard a few of their plans and they've got some exciting stuff planned.

The International Centre for Disability and Rehabilitation (ICDR) was established in January 2004. The centre was formed as a response to the need for sustainable assistance to people with disabilities in developing counties; the need to expand the training of students and practitioners in order to respond to global needs; and in response to the University of Toronto's commitment to reaching beyond its traditional borders.

I'll keep you posted here, but if you want more information contact the centre directly, icdr.info@utoronto.ca.

Research about Disability and Online Dating

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

This call for participants came to us via the Citizens With Disabilities - Ontario listserv. I don't know anyone involved, but I do know that, as the description below suggests, this is definitely an under researched area. They are looking for people who are over 18, identify as living with a disability, and have used or are currently using online dating sites.

From the email notice and the study's informed consent form:

Natasha Saltes is a recent MA graduate in Critical Disability Studies. She is currently recruiting participants for a qualitative study that she is conducting on disability and online dating. There is very little research on this particular topic - this is a unique opportunity to anonymously take part in an original study that will shed light on the experience of disability and online dating.

The purpose of this study is to examine the impact that online dating presents for people who identify themselves as living with a disability. This study aims to uncover how users with disabilities manage their identity online. This study also attempts to understand the experiences that people with disabilities have had in using online dating services and the ways in which online dating experiences may differ from offline experiences.

Take the online questionnaire

Read the informed consent form

If you have any questions or concerns about this study please send an email to disabilitydatingstudy@gmail.com

Maybe once every couple of years I get an email advertising some new "disabled dating service" or "disability friendly" dating site. Sometimes they are just plain sketchy, most of the time I'm wary, but not sure if I should be. I think about how most people are a bit wary when they hear that I, someone who is currently non-disabled, work in the area of sex and disability. Being a bit skeptical comes with the territory, but it feels weird for me as an ally. Part of the priviledge I live with is that other people put me in a gatekeeper role when it comes to access to information. Particularly non-disabled professionals who usually find it easier to deal with me than with their own attitudes toward disability, equity, etc... So on the one hand I want to just share everything that comes my way and the idea that I might not share something because I think they're just out for a fast buck seems sort of condescending.

On the other, as a sex educator and someone trying to live an ethical life, I take referrals very seriously and don't ever want someone to think I'm recommending something unless I really am recommending it. Being an ally makes this tricky, but so does the fact that there are so few resources around sex, dating, and disability, that most of us want to see everything we can get our hands on.

The Other Come As You Are

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We may be a worker co-operative, but we can be as vain as any regular undemocratic business and it should come as no surprise that we have several vanity alerts for our name, Come As You Are. For years these alerts have been a source of humour and joy for us, as we often find our name in the most unexpected places. We thought we'd share our favouties in this new blog series called The Other Come As You Are. If you have any examples of your own, let us know.

Today's entry has us addressing a church in Birmingham, Alabama on the question "Should Churches Welcome Members of the GLBT Community?"

Spoiler alert....we say YES!

Call for Proposals 32nd Annual Guelph Sexuality Conference

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0400

The Guelph Sexuality Conference is the longest running and largest sexual health conference in Canada. The call for next years conference is out, the theme is "Communication and Sexual Health: More than Words".

For the past three years Come As You Are has been proud to sponsor the conference and we're planning on being back again this year. If you work in sexual health check out the call and think about submitting a proposal. And don't forget to mark your calendar for June 21-23, 2010.

Guelph Sexuality Conference Request for Proposals

be part of a g spot documentary!

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Want to be part of some history in the making? Zadig Productions of France will be in town on Sunday, December 6^th to film a segment of their documentary “In Search of the G spot” right here at Come As You Are. Female ejaculation and the g spot master-workshop-facilitator Shannon Bell will be hosting the workshop, and the content will be very similar to the workshop that she hosts a few times a year here for us, but this time, it’s free.

Here’s the quick run-down of what’s happening in the workshop:

Returning with her popular seminar, Shannon Bell will discuss female ejaculation from a historical perspective, followed by an overview of anatomy and technique, plus a demonstration. Learn about female ejaculation, see the real live clitoris (g-spot), and discover new techniques.

The catch: you will be/might be on camera. For some, I’m sure that this isn’t a big deal at all, and even something that might be all the more appealing. It’s an opportunity to be part of an awesome doc in the making. To register, please email sarah@comeasyouare.com.

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Nov 27, 2009

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

No, you're not going to find a link to purchase this title on our website. It's just not going to happen. But since my job involves reviewing ALL the porn that's out there, I feel I have to share some of the worst titles with you...just so you know what you're missing :)

1990. I think that's all I need to say. Here's the text from the boxcover: Holy Backdoor Entry Blackman...The beautiful Dr. Packer needs her bottom filled, and so do all the other beauties that come along! Has Blackman met his match? Is he doomed to a sex life of forbidden depravity? It is absolutely the hottest integrated anal feature of our time! And this one: He black, back, and on the attack! She's sweet, neat, and indiscreet!

Call for Artists & Crafters: 4th Annual Toronto Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

4th Annual Toronto Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair

Looking for an excuse to take your arts and craftiness in a sexy direction? Searching for the perfect place to sell your handmade erotic wares just before Valentine’s Day?

Last year's Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair attracted over 1300 attendees to ogle (and buy) the work of over 20 vendors at the Gladstone Hotel.

For more details and on line vendor submission forms visit: www.eroticartsandcrafts.com
Submission deadline: January 3, 2009

More about the Fair:
The Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair is a one-of-a-kind fair that will bring together artists and crafters just in time for Valentine's Day. Knitters, crafters, zinesters, card makers, and artists of all types will be creating erotic objects for this one day celebration of DIY sex and romantic culture.

Where: Gladstone Hotel (location is wheelchair accessible)
When: Saturday February 13, 2010 12-8pm

CAYA does Venus in Berlin

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

For the first year, Come As You Are attended the Venus sex trade show in Berlin, Germany. In fact, it is only in our recent history that we've attended trade shows at all. When we first opened in 1997 it was pretty inconceivable that we'd have a travel budget for trade shows out of province, let alone on another continent. Since then, we've been able to send gill and Holly to shows in LA, Las Vegas and now Berlin!

The Venus show is both a consumer show and a business-to-business trade show. This means that some parts of the show are visitable by anyone, and there are other areas reserved for industry 'professionals'. The Venus show is in its 13th year, and I've been warned by other folks in the 'industry' that it is incredibly wild in comparison to North American trade shows, and I really didn't know what to expect.

My first pleasant surprise was actually in my hotel minibar where I discovered a pickle-in-a-can with self-contained pickle spear. Brilliant.

Once I arrived at the show, I noticed two big differences between the shows I've attended at North American venues and the Venus show in Berlin.

Similar to the Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto and other cities, there is a combination of sex retail (sex toys, dvds, books, etc) and stages set up for live sexy shows. In Toronto, these tend to be pretty softcore - lingerie shows, sexy dancing, etc. In Berlin at Venus, the stage shows were full-on stripping and on the consumer floor, web-companies had smaller stages with full-nudity, lots of sex toys, and super explicit action. Comparitively, Toronto is a tease.

On the trade side, Venus was also very different from the shows I've been to in the U.S. Visiting the booths of sex toy makers at Venus often felt like I was peeking into the future of sex toys. I saw so many sexy and innovative toys - some about to be released, some a year away from production still - from so many interesting and independent sex toy makers. In the U.S. when I visit booths from some of the big, old, mainstream sex toy manufacturers, I feel like I'm looking into the past of sex toys.

There are awesome toys (books and dvds!) coming out of North America - they just tend to be from the smaller or independent sex toy inventors. In fact, perhaps the biggest difference was the number of independent manufacturers from all over the world presenting at Venus.

Help Us Test Our Mobile Site

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Since the launch of our new website, the Come As You Are web team (i.e. gill) has been working not-so-feverishly on the launch of our website for mobile devices. The mobile site has the same general layout as our regular website, but we've dropped the right column and we've increased the size of the search function to make use on mobile devices easier.

If you have a mobile phone or other mobile device, use your mobile browser to visit www.comeasyouare.com. Send along your comments and constructive criticism to me at gill@comeasyouare.com.

Name Our Packer Contest

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Is that a new packer in your pants, or are you just happy to see us? Maybe it's both, since there's definitely a new packer in town. We were feeling a need for a more affordable but still durable packer, and one that would give us a colour selection, so we turned to our local dildo manufacturer, Happy Valley and asked them to turn our dreams into reality. We're proud to announce the launch of our brand new silicone packer called…um, well, we don't know what it is called yet, but we're hoping you can help! Check out our packer (currently called Mister No Name) in our Toronto store or online, and submit your suggestion for a name. If we choose your name, you'll receive your very own packer and a Come As You Are gift basket. All entries (not just the winning one!) will receive 10% off any purchase from our website.
Send your suggestions to contests@comeasyouare.com.

Tune In: Orgasm Inc. on CBC's Passionate Eye

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We were honoured to be a sponsor of the fabulous documentary Orgasm Inc. at this year's Hot Docs film festival and we're so happy for director Liz Canner and everyone involved in the doc that it's airing this Sunday night, November 22, on the Passionate Eye on CBC TV.

It couldn't be more timely, what with the recent media push about flibanserin, the newest "female Viagra" that hasn't been approved for use, doesn't really represent any breakthroughs in research, and yet still is getting press around the globe.

Check it out. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you may never look at drugs the same way again.

Orgasm Inc. the website

Passionate Eye on CBC TV

Oprah's Sex Toy and DVD Picks

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Needless to say, these aren't Oprah's personal picks. The day she personally endorses a sex toy like she did the Kindle will be a very happy day for one manufacturers and whole lot of retailers.

But following on the heels of their porn piece, Oprah.com asked a Chicago retailer for their top picks. I would have asked Early2Bed instead, but am still happy to see them give shout outs to some of our favourites, including

Hathor Lube. We're so thrilled that our favourite Canadian lube maker is featured along with Sliquid and Eros in the chosen lubes.

Laya Vibe. This Fun Factory powerhouse deserves to be on everyone's top pick list.

They must have felt some obligation to pick at least one Jenna Jameson movie since Jenna was the focus of the episode. We're glad they picked The Masseuse. And even happier they singled out Tristan Taormino's Chemistry and Candida Royalle's Eyes of Desire

Toronto's Everything to do with Sex Show

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

It’s the Everything to do with Sex Show’s 10^th anniversary, and once again, Come As You Are will be there representin’. Held at the Direct Energy Centre on the CNE grounds (closest to the Princes’ Gates), this trade show/exhibition/consumer bonanza brings in around 50,000 visitors over the course of it’s three-day weekend--this year, beginning on Friday.

It’s no Vegas AEE by a long shot, but it does still have that rush of excitement in the air. Tons of vendors, live lingerie shows, seminars and over-priced food abound. Unfortunately they don’t get many big porn names to migrate north for the weekend, although they did manage to wrangle Ashlynn Brooke, who is fantastic in a couple of films we carry (Scrubs XXX and The Office XXX).

Come on down this weekend and say hey to us, check out our sweet booth, and if you’re lucky, grab some of our top-secret new CAYA swag – to be unveiled this Friday. We’re gonna be located at booth numbers 323&422, at the start of a row near the workshop space at the northwest corner of the building.

See you there!

Violet on Oprah on Porn

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

The show title sounds bad, but at least one of the guests gives us hope. Tomorrow on Oprah,

Why Millions of Women Are Using Porn and Erotica

The online teaser includes Jenna - "every woman has a Jenna Jameson in her" -Jameson and plenty of shots of Oprah looking puzzled. We wouldn't even bother except Violet Blue is one of the guests. She managed to get some great stuff into the O Magazine and isn't known for a whole lot of compromise, so we're tuning in and hoping to be turned on.

Tomorrow on Oprah

And if you'd rather get Violet uncensored, check out our selection of Violet's sex how to's and erotica collections.

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Nov 20, 2009

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Envisioning New Meanings of Disability and Difference

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

One of the biggest challenges in doing work around sex and disability is the general dearth of disability imagery.
Which is why we're excited about this exhibit and will be there on the 18th at the opening. Hope to see some of you there.

Envisioning New Meanings of Disability and Difference: A Multimedia Exhibit

A dynamic multimedia exhibit, “Envisioning New Meanings of Disability and Difference” puts forward ways of seeing disability and difference. Women with disabilities and physical differences use photography and digital stories to boldly present themselves in their own words and images.

All are welcome to attend the exhibit launch and reception on Wednesday, November 18 from 4 – 6 p.m. in the East Common Room of Hart House (7 Hart House Circle). The location is accessible and ASL interpretation will be available. Artists featured in the Envisioning exhibit will be on-hand to discuss their work.

The Envisioning exhibit is free of charge and will run from Tuesday, November 17 until Tuesday, December 1 from 7:30 a.m. until 11 p.m. in the Hart House Map Room. It is open to all members of the University of Toronto and general public.

For accessibility questions, contact Myra Lefkowitz, U of T Health and Well-being Programs and Services at myra.lefkowitz@utoronto.ca. For more information or to RSVP to the Nov. 18 launch, contact Erin Noble at erin.noble@utoronto.ca.

This exhibit is presented by University of Toronto’s Health and Well-being Programs and Services, in co-operation with Hart House and the Envisioning New Meanings Planning Committee, composed of U of T staff, faculty and students.

EVENT: Envisioning New Meanings of Disability and Difference Multimedia Exhibit

DATE: Public launch and reception - Wednesday, November 18, 4 – 6 p.m.

Exhibit on display from November 17 until December 1.

Is Anal Sex Hardcore?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

The Challenge of Putting Porn Into Little Boxes

Soon after opening in 1997 we found that porn was the product customers came in with the most baggage around. Being the first feminist identified sex shop in Toronto that also carried a range of porn -- from soft to extremely hardcore -- we had a lot of people coming to us interested in giving porn another try, but turned off by previous experiences and not sure where to start.

As a result, porn has been the product line that demands the most reflection and work from our collective membership. We probably spend more time watching, thinking, and debating porn than anything else we carry. All that talk came in handy when, a few years back, we decided it was time to devise a classification system for customers.

Which brings me to anal sex. Anal sex proved to be the first stumbling block. In our first draft everyone involved in the process agreed that anal sex would be a distinguishing feature of the raunchier content we carry (closer to five flames than one). But some members challenged this. What was it, they asked, about anal sex that makes it inherently raunchy or hardcore? Should a sexual activity taken out of the context of erotic energy, people's bodies, and all the non-verbal communication that happens during sex, ever be classified as essentially "hard" or "soft"?

It was a good question, and one we got stuck on for some time. In the end we agreed that when it came to an individuals sex life this didn't make sense at all. But when it comes to porn we feel like it does.

Porn is a kind of fetishization of sexual activity. With few exceptions, porn isn't about the subjective experience of the actors (one notable exception would Tony Comstock's films). So it makes sense in this context to identify porn both as it's produced, but also along the lines that customers most often ask for (and anal sex vs. no anal sex is a common request).

In the end we decided to make our rankings reflect both sexual activities and sexual energy in a film. Like everything at a worker co-operative, we consider our porn nosology a work in progress. Have a look and if you've got comments, suggestions, or controversies you'd like to suggest, let us know!

	Light and Breezy. Titles may titillate but keep the action relatively clean. No anal, no genital close ups, no external ejaculation.
	Penultimate Porn. Scenes feature light-hearted sex, actors understanding and responding to their partner's desires. Some external ejaculations, occasional anal sex, threesomes, and girl-on-girl.
	The Mid Point. Scenes feature light-hearted sex, actors understanding and responding to their partner's desires. Some external ejaculations, occasional anal sex, threesomes, and girl-on-girl.
	More Bang for the Buck. Sex that's raunchy and to the point. Expect multiple scenes involving anal sex, group sex, some power play, zoomed-in shots, and facial ejaculations.
	Hard as We Want to Be. The most explicit content we carry. Titles may feature power play and/or rough sex, multiple anal scenes, double penetrations and dirty talk.

What's New On Our Shelves

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

It’s exciting to be able to get new silicone toys around here, and we’ve got a bunch of new stuff for you to check out.

First, there’s Fun Factory’s Share XS, another version of their double dildo. This one has the same size end for the wearer, but the other end is much smaller. Great for beginners to receiving anal penetration, or those who prefer something a bit smaller. Can be worn with or without a harness.

Next up is one of the brand spankin’ new Lelo toys, Billy. Very similar to the Liv, Billy has a bit of a flared base to make it safe for both vaginal and anal penetration. Fancy pulsing settings as well as a great rechargeable, long-lasting motor.

2 more dildos from our fave Canadian silicone toy makers, Happy Valley brings us Joy and Jet. Both come in nice firm silicone in shiny colours, they also feature a little space for a wireless bullet in the base if you want a vibrating toy. Great for use with harnesses, or however you want to play!

Sparkle Cocktail Party

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Next Wednesday, come check out the Sparkle Cocktail Party as part of the weekly event Granny Boots held at the Gladstone, 1214 Queen St W right here in Toronto. Featuring performances by some of our staff here at Come As You Are, and more. Wheelchair accessible dance party!

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Nov 5, 2009

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Luckily the price of gas has been dropping around here lately, so maybe you'd be getting a deal if you picked up one of these gals at the pump. I can't believe I just wrote that.

It does the job though - it definitely is a clever title. Can't speak for the content though.

Who needs a real man? (uggh)

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

I don't know who this is really marketed to--people that have recently broken up with their partners, single people, or possibly those in a relationship that might be considering inviting a third to their sex life, this pillow is absolutely hilarious and amazing. I don't think I fall into any of those categories personally, but I still want one. Who wouldn't?! It's the natural step after having one of the Pillow People from the 80's.

Online Aboriginal Sexual Health Resources

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Thanks to Leanne Cusitar (star of Toronto Public Health among other things) for passing these along. Come As You Are is just updating it's referral list, so it's perfect timing.

The Canadian Aboriginal AIDS Network

The Canadian Aboriginal AIDS Network Inc. (CAAN) is a non-profit coalition of individuals and organizations which provides leadership, support, and advocacy for Aboriginal people living with and affected by HIV/AIDS, regardless of where they reside. They've also got a new site geared to youth.

Chee Mamuk: Aboriginal Program at the BC Centre for Disease Control

Check out their awesome Star in Your Own Stories project that is "transforming First Nations high school students into filmmakers and sexual health campaigners."

Pauktuutit Inuit Women of Canada: Sexual Health Program

Pauktuutit is dedicated to preventing the further spread of sexually transmitted infections among Inuit and working to ensure that Inuit who are living with serious diseases such as HIV and/or hepatitis-C are able to access the services and support they need in the communities in which they live.

2-Spirited People of the 1st Nations

2-Spirited People of the 1st Nations is a non-profit social services organization whose membership consists of Aboriginal gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people in Toronto. Their services include HIV/AIDS education, outreach, prevention, support and counseling for 2-spirited people and others living and affected by HIV/AIDS.

Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists: Aboriginal Contraception Awareness Project

Supported by the award winning Canadian site sexualityandu.ca, ACAP is committed to providing credible and up-to-date information about sexual health. The site strives to offer information that is culturally relevant to the people living in a diverse range of Aboriginal communities across Canada, thanks to the guidance of a team of Canadian medical and Aboriginal organizations.

What's New on our shelves?

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Here’s what’s new and shiny on our shelves this week: I’ve got three classic and classically inspired offerings.

First up, is the long awaited re-release of Zazel. This was one of our best selling titles when we first opened, and they’ve just made it available in a brand new 2-disc edition, remastered in HD widescreen.

The look of our new Tear Leather Fetish Collar can only be described as classic. Turn any neck into an El Greco masterpiece!

And what’s more classic than a good ol' queer daddy fantasy? Daddies offers stories of younger guys lusting after older, more experienced men...and vice-versa.

Savage Love Love

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:00:00 -0400

Painfully archaic understandings of bisexuality aside, we love Dan Savage. He's funny, a good writer, and in most cases has fucking A politics when it comes to sexual rights and expression. We also love him because even when we disagree with him, he always feels like he's being honest, and honesty in sex is a rarity, particularly in the media.So we were stoked when one of our very own worker-owners, Cory, got asked to answer a question for one of Dan's readers. He couldn't recommend any of our fine products, but if you're looking for a prosthestic nose, or the right face harness, this one is worth a read.Savage Love -Face Sitting (also check out Cory's last appearance in Savage Love, with three letters all about disability).

Survey for Immigrant Youth in Toronto

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Reposting this for the folks at the Griffin Centre, a great organization supporting "vulnerable youth and adults with mental health challenges and/or developmental disabilities" that also does some amazing work around queer youth living with and/or labeled with disabilities. They're asking people to pass this around, so if you know anyone who would be eligible please forward.

When Does a Sex Toy Become a 'Pleasure Aid'?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0400

A: When it's being displayed on TVGuide.com. At least that's what happened to one of our most beloved sex toys, the NaughtiNano, when we sent a few dozen to the folks putting together the gift bags for the cast of The Starter Wife. We know we're supposed to be most excited about getting a vibe in the hands of the star, Debra Messing, but truth be told, it was knowing that something went from our little shop in the hinterlands of Canada directly into the talented and sexy hands of Judy Davis that has our collective panties in a bunch.But back to the euphemism. Once approached to contribute something sexually suggestive to the bags our first phone call was to Suki and Brian at OhMiBod, they of the beautifully designed, smartly functional, tech friendly vibrators.

3rd Annual Toronto Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0400

Looking for an excuse to take your arts and craftiness in a sexy direction? Searching for the perfect place to sell your handmade erotic wares just before Valentine's Day? Each year for the past two years the Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair has attracted over 500 attendees to oogle (and buy) the work of over 20 vendors at the Gladstone Hotel.For more details and on-line vendor submission forms visit: www.eroticartsandcrafts.com Submission deadline: Tuesday December 9, 2008 Where: Gladstone Hotel 1214 Queen Street West(location is wheelchair accessible) When: Saturday February 14, 2009 Time: 12 - 8pm

Documentary Screening, Orgasmic Birth: The Best Kept Secret

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0400

I'll never forget the first time I read Susie Bright's Egg Sex and how it totally blew my mind that this event which I had previously understood solely as a medical one (meant to be painful, serious, and basically screamed through) could be, indeed was, another expression of human sexuality.We tend not to think about pregnancy and sex much (except for the once a month porn catalogues featuring Ready to Drop vol. 346 that our video buyer Holly has the pleasure of flipping through). And most of us equate childbirth with sex even less. But most of us are, apparently, missing the boat.There's a great screening next Wednesday on thi

Let's Talk About Sex!

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0400

It's an irony not lost on us here at Come As You Are that almost all sex education resources are geared to people under 18. Not that teens don't have a right to information and resources that help them understand the benefits and risks of whatever kind of sex they're having. They do. But the truth is that for most of us our sex lives get more complicated and more interesting as we age. People of all ages need and deserve sex education.

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Oct 9, 2009

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

This is just a reminder, I'm you haven't seen my weekly funny/horrible/ridiculous porn titles of the week, this is purely for entertainment, and nothing that Come As You Are endorses in the slightest. But personally, I'm a big fan of The Pogues and found this one to be quite to my liking. Although Rum, Sodomy & the Lash is a title of a book, it's probably most famous for being the title of an amazing Pogues record (that includes such favourites as Dirty Old Town and Sally MacLennane). So here it is, Cum, Sodomy and the Cash!

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Oct 2, 2009

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

As the DVD buyer at Come As You Are, I'm bombarded with all sorts of horribly offensive, and at times, hilarious, titles and box covers that I have to wade through. This week, I'm going to give you a little sampling of a couple boxcovers in the series "Your Mom Tossed my Salad". The use of props (dressing, salad bowl) delights me to no end.

Remember, when you're kissing your mother, you're tasting my asshole. (Fuck.)

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Oct 16, 2009

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

No, you're not going to find a link to purchase this title on our website. It's just not going to happen. This is, perhaps, one of the most descriptive of the gross, which makes it oh so much more lovable.

Choice Porn Title of the Week - Oct 23, 2009

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Sometimes I feel like when you're going to name a movie something, there should be more references to what you're ripping off. Where's the makeouts on the rollercoasters, the sex in the waterpark, etc, etc? Oh, right, there's no budget for that. While some of the language that is included in this title (as well most of the boxcovers that I blog about that I will never carry) might not be what we use around these parts, the idea is silly enough to be picked as my Choice Porn Title of the Week.

Holiday Preview - Hang This Duck on Your Tree

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

At Come As You Are, we're awfully fond of telling you what to - ahem - stuff in your stocking for the holidays, but this year, we've got something that can be hung on your tree and be guaranteed to jingle your bells well past boxing day. Unfortunately, it won't do a thing for your yule log.

Big Tease Toys is infamous for their Rub Your Duckie series of discreet (and fun!) vibrators. Their ducks have been to Paris, into the BDSM scene and have even been shrunk down to the popular and powerful I Rub My Travel Duckie for on-the-go fun. For the holidays, Big Tease brings us the I Rub My Travel Duckie as an ornament: enclosed in a holiday orb ready to hang on a tree, stocking hook or loved one! more info

Congratulations to Candida Royalle

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We were thrilled to hear that one of our top selling directors, and a personal friend to Come As You Are, the trail blazing feminist pornographer Candida Royalle was honored at the first ever "PorYes" Feminist Porn Awards in Berlin.

The world of self-identified (and other identified) feminist pornography has changed so much in the 12 years we've been open, and I remember ordering Candida's first films from a mail order catalogue in Quebec, and getting those big VHS boxes in the mail.

Sadly one thing that hasn't changed is that like Candida, most people who want to make consciously political porn are still doing it completely on their own dime. There are exceptions (like Tristan Taormino) but most mainstream porn companies still don't get that doing anything differently is ever a good thing. The idea that porn can be hot and have social meaning is irrelevant since the purpose of making porn is to make money, not represent experience.

We love Candida for putting her money where her mouth was at a time when the risks were decidedly bigger (financially, legally, and arguably socially). She has always pur her positive intentions and heart into her work and she also happens to be one of the sweetest people in the industry.

Check out our complete line of Candida Royalle movies

Image courtesy of Femme Productions

Come As You Are Named Best Sex Shop by NOW Magazine

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We're tickled pink to be named best sex shop by NOW Magazine for either the 10th or 11th year in a row (it's a bad sign when we can't remember these things, isn't it). Every year they say something nice about us, this year they liked us and our products:

"Shoppers looking for a sex-positive spot to score their vibrators, dildos and cock rings are turned on by Come as You Are's smart staff and lustful selection."

One of the reasons we first opened our doors in 1997 was because there wasn't a sex shop in Toronto that spoke to us exactly as we were. None of us minded the cobbling together you had to do (a harness here, a vibrator there, lube from somewhere else) but we felt like Toronto was a big enough city that it could handle another sex shop and one that would do things differently. Torontonians proved us right and we honestly can think of a better city to be living and working in. A city where we've never once been picketed, where every conflict has been respectful, and where a democratic worker co-operative can not only survive but thrive.

Every day we get to open our doors, and open our email, we're thankful for our city and the people in it. And we wanted to say thanks one more time.

So thanks, and if you're interested in checking out the other businesses and individuals getting some NOW lovin' here's the link.

Best Marketing Strategy!

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

In the last week or two, we’ve received a couple plain white envelopes with no return addresses – postmarked Midway, BC – with perhaps the best contents that we’ve seen lately. It seems that this company/website has decided that the best and most-eye catching way to promote their product is to hand-write the information that they want to get across on ripped-out pages of girlie porno mags. Even better is the fact that they chose the person with the clearest, neatest handwriting to get their message across.

You won’t find any Texas college co-eds on our site (much to my personal chagrin), but you definitely will at www.producerslounge.com.

If you can’t read the print, here’s what I’m interpreting it to be:

Lady #1:

Dearest fellow XXXERaumew! Have is yaww personal invite to cechaut my site at: WWW.PRODUCERSLOUNGE.COM

Dleawe on good otemd ms ON WEBOFTRUST.COM!

(caya note: this domain name is currently for sale!)

Lady #2:

Dearest XXX R’s awneu of a business.

This is aww imvite 8au yaw to checkout aww websitee at:

WWW.PRODUCERSLOUNGE.COM

Hope you enjoy these. I’m a stickler for spelling and grammar, and I wasn’t trying to be funny by trying to type out each message letter-for-letter, but it really wasn’t even a stretch. I could not make out half of the words printed on it! I get it that they want me to check out their site. And they did a fantastic job of getting me to actually check it out. Two thumbs up in a not-completely sarcastic way!

Aunt Peg's Soup

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

I have no idea how I stumbled upon this recipe, as I don’t typically look at such things online, but it struck me absolutely funny that this “rich and creamy vegetable soup that is delicious with warm French bread” seems to a favourite of one of our favourites, Aunt Peg. Obviously I’m sure they’re not related, but I wish the ‘real’ Peg knew that she shared a name with Juliet Anderson’s beloved porn character of the late 70’s and 80’s.

Dress Up and Win a Haunted Butt Plug

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Okay, it’s not haunted, but it does look like a ghost and it does glow in the dark (which does make us a little scared). And so we were inspired to do a Halloween giveaway.

Come into our Toronto store anytime between 11am and 7pm on Saturday the 31^st dressed up to scare (or arouse…or both) and you’ll be entered to win a Terrifying Toy Prize (thanks to part-time Vanna White impersonator, part-time haunted butt plug model/worker-owner Holly for sharing her messy office and modeling skills with the class).

Absolutely no purchase necessary, and there are not obvious rules as to what makes a winning costume. We know we aren’t the only ones who think Halloween is the best holiday of the year, so drop by and share the fear.

Colouring Contest

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0400

We've got the entries for the first annual Come As You Are colouring contest that was held on the eve of Nuit Blanche. Of course there's an 18+ twist to our contest, and young and old came out to get colourin'. Thanks again to artists Mallory Diaczun and Erin Finlay for displaying their wonderful work on our walls till the end of November!

Here's the link to our flickr page where you can check out the work.

Winners will be contacted shortly!