The film is part of a Trillium-funded project designed to improve the health, safety, and satisfaction of both attendants and people using attendant services. The video is about providing information about working relationships between attendant and person using attendant services as it relates to sexuality.

We’re interested in connecting with anyone, regardless of how you receive or provide services, whether you think you have experience with this subject matter or not.

If you are curious about our project or interested in finding out more about us, about the film, and about what participating in this video would be like you can contact us directly. We can do this on the phone, via email, or whatever way works for you.

Participants in the film will be paid for their time.

Whether in-store or online, we’ve tried so hard to be there for all of you and all we’ve ever really wanted in return is to be able to keep doing what we do. Since our move in 2011 - combined with the emergence of what we see as predatory online sex shops - things have been incredibly hard over here. We have had to make some extremely hard decisions as of late, and we have been collectively questioning our life’s work, co-operative structures, and the nature of sex-positivity itself.

Come As You Are moved into its new digs at 493 Queen West last November, giving them an increase in floor space and a chance to capture walk-ins teeming around the busy Queen-Spadina corridor. But the move, Lamon says, has actually resulted in a decrease in sales.

We’ve been wanting to write you this e-mail for months, but we just didn’t have the heart to break the news. We know you all have been going through a lot lately - especially with Mercury just coming out of retrograde - and we know that times are tough all around. Essentially, we didn’t want to burden you with our problems. Our mission in life - and business - has been to be a support to others, and we’ve never been particularly good at asking for help for ourselves.

We met with worker-owner Sarah Forbes-Roberts, a 15-year CAYA veteran, who gave us a tour of the store’s wide range of sexual aids and accessories for people of all ages, genders, sexualities and abilities—including a number of exclusive products and many that are locally made. She confirmed that numerous disparate factors have converged to bring CAYA to the brink. Now, only a concerted effort from customers, supporters, and friends over the next few weeks will be able to give the co-operative the breathing room it needs to avoid closure and explore other options.

We love orgasms more than most folks - heck, it’s right there in our name! - but it feels like more and more, ‘good sex’ is measured only by the quantity - and possibly duration of - orgasms and not in terms of actual enjoyment or the pleasure we experience in having sex.

Not only do folks have a tendency to make orgasm the goal of sex, but there’s also so much messaging out there about the kinds of orgasms we ought to have (g-spot vs clitoral), but also when we have orgasms (don’t come too soon or too late!), and we’re rated according to the quality and quantity of the orgasms we have and the quality and quantity of the orgasms we give to others.

The popularity of our sex workshops and educational materials is a testament to how much import we place on giving good orgasms. When folks ask us how to give ‘great head’ or how to ‘make’ someone have a g-spot orgasm, we’re always happy to give people tools to learn about technique, but invariably, the real answer is ‘enthusiasm’.

We know it is near impossible to tune out all of the misleading and negative messaging we receive about sexuality throughout our lives, but perhaps we can have sex that actively challenge those ideas about sex. Try something new or that you don’t usually do - you never know what you’ll discover and you’ll be doing your part to change the sexual landscape for all of us!

We're looking for a few responsible folks (willing to sign a confidentiality agreement) to come help out at our workshops, and in exchange you'll get to hang out in our special 'staff only' VIP section (with wheely chairs!) during the workshop. After the workshop, we'll need you to stick around to put away chairs and give the space a sweep. We'll even send you home with a limited-edition "Our Bodies, Our Clipboards" commemorative clipboard and a five-year-old 10th anniversary Come As You Are balloon as a token of our appreciation!

Apply today!

For a retail-type establishment, we resent ramptant commercialism more than is probably healthy, but as folks who have dedicated our lives to helping other people have great sex, we can’t help but have a bit of a love-on for the official holiday of love.

As with all traditions, there are elements of Valentine’s that we could do without, but mostly we’d just love to take it further. If only we had an actual day off for Valentine’s Day - a whole day to spend with a lover or to engage in some serious self-love. Whether you want a heart-shaped box, a furry stuffed animal, or a dozen roses to accompany your lovefest is up to you.

We get hit up for more sex advice in February than in any other month, and while we all have different wants, needs, and desires, it seems deep down, we all really just want to be seen, understood, accepted, and loved for who we really are.

If we ran the world, no one would need Valentine’s Day because we would cherish and love and appreciate each other all-year-round, but as long as we’re relegated to one day per year (not including masturbation month, of course!) we’re committed to helping provide you with the toys, tools, erotica and porn to make your love and lust holiday something truly special.

Get a Heart-On!

We want nothing more than to bring pleasure to you and those your love for Valentine's, and we're always working harder to make sex easier for all Canadians, so this Valentine's season, we're offering all of you free shipping, free gift wrap, or 15% off your online order! Get more info on our Valentine's offers and inspired Valentine's deals here!

Join us for The Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair

The Toronto Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair is a one-of-a-kind sexy fair that brings together artists and crafters just in time for Valentine's Day! Knitters, crafters, zinesters, card makers, and artists of all types create inspired and inspiring erotic objects for this one day celebration of DIY sex and romantic culture!

Join us at the Gladstone Hotel on February 9th, 2013 for the fair and cabaret! Check out the Erotic Arts and Crafts website!

Great Sex Made Simple Workshop

With Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
Many people think that studying sexual Tantra will reveal the arcane secrets of having great sex. In reality, there are no great secrets. Tantric sex has more to do with your attitude than with marathon lovemaking sessions, obscure techniques, or anything else. A simple shift in thinking is the most important element. Sex begins in the brain, and becoming familiar with a few important principles can make it easier for this shift to occur. Understanding these key concepts and incorporating a few techniques is a lot easier than you might think. In this workshop, you'll be exposed to some basic Tantric concepts and learn some simple and practical ways to deepen your connection, both emotionally and erotically.
When: Monday, February 4th, 2013. 7:30 - 9:30PM
Read more and get registered for Great Sex Made Simple Workshop

At best, most sex shops are based on a particular person’s sexual ideology and at worst, they’re based on a business plan - and being the intense critical thinkers we are, we think neither approach is particularly useful.

As a sex shop co-operative, we know first hand from fifteen years of collective discussions that we all have different ideas about what constitutes good sex, or hot sex, or safe sex, or even what constitutes sex itself. When we’re not completely overwhelmed by the practical aspects of running this (very) small business, we are constantly engaged in collective conversation about our always evolving perspective(s) on sex and sex culture.

We know enough to know that no one knows what sex toy or fantasy or ideology or sex position will work best for you - not even us. What we do know is that there is a whole world of sexual ideas out there for you to explore, and we’d love to show you around sometime if that’s something you’re into.

We also know how much we learn from all of you: some of our favourite sex toys are ones you’ve suggested, and all of your feedback on our sex toys, books, DVDs, and workshops helps us help other folks even better! Collectively, we have the power to change all of our sexual realities for the better.

Get in on the knowledge-sharing and help other's benefit from your experiences! Instantly receive 15% off any online order, or get a free bottle of Imagination Massage Oil just by adding your review of any sex toy, book, DVD, or workshop!

Get more info at www.eroticartsandcrafts.com

This series is 70% new, 30% seen. Incorporating collage, crochet, painting and drawing media, Hook, Line and Sprinkle explores thread becoming line, line becoming shape and shape being celebrated in all its realness, curvaceousness, sexiness, kinkiness and mess. Incorporating handmade and collected textiles into painted works at once exposes and relieves the artiist's hoarding tendencies, while texturally tantalizing kindreds who see their inner neon and glitter guts reflected in the chaos. The show Celebrates the oft-unnoticed superpowers of survivors, magical creatures, sassy bitches and Crazy folks, as well as the asymmetry of voluptuous forms.

Opening reception Thursday, January 10th 2013 7pm-10pm and runs until the end of January.

Please remember, offers cannot be combined!

Mostly, we just fear we’ll disappoint. Our speech will be awesome (no doubt), but as much as we’re often held up as a ‘success story’ in the co-op world, we’re still very much on the ‘survival’ end of the spectrum.

For us, being a co-operative is a radical, anti-capitalist act that specifically excludes ‘thriving’ as a goal in any conventional sense of the word. In fact, we were founded as a co-operative to ensure that we would never be corrupted by the desire for profit or personal gain.

Well, we’ve certainly managed that!

In Toronto, we have seen so many politically and socially important small businesses close of late – This Ain’t the Rosedale Library, the Toronto Women’s Bookstore, MissBehavin’. These weren’t just stores – they were communities, and they closed because the people in these communities opted to buy from Amazon or Indigo or super-duper-discount-sex-toys.com.

All we want (for the holidays) is to keep on surviving. We just want to be here for you when you need us, and we really hope you feel the same because you just don’t know what you‘ve got until it’s gone.

Lim’s most recent calendar for the 2013 year, The Comfort of Queer Family Wisdom, follows the story of their time in Montreal as they contemplate radical racialized queer politics and attempt to find comfort and community. For Lim, the personal is political, and their illustrations speak volumes about their esthetic, politics and intimate life. Filled with images of those who’ve touched their life, of queer icons and brave friends, The Comfort of Queer Family Wisdom is truly a collector’s item.

Of course, here at Come As You Are, we are adoring fans of the lovely Lim, and have gotten together with them to ask them a few questions about their work. Their 2013 The Comfort of Queer Family Wisdom, is available at Come As You Are for $20. Also, make sure to check-out their adorable commercial posted at the end of the interview!

CAYA: Your work lives at the intersection of race, gender, sexualities politics and the very personal, in such a lovely and organic way. You seem to have a knack for interpreting gender and race theory on such an intimate level. How do you come up with the textual content of your work?

EL: First of all, THIS IS SO NICE! You've paid so much attention to my work, I feel all weepy. THANK YOU!

I feel very, very lucky, because it comes so naturally to me to write these stories. It comes down to love. I genuinely love and admire every single person I've ever written about. So in a way it's one big, long gush. I love Sissies for being brave and kickass and sexy. I love butches for being visible and unflinching and fun. I love the queer family members in the 2013 calendar - they truly, truly got me through the day last year.

CAYA: The folks that you illustrate come across as strong, active and interesting, spanning genders, sexual expressions, races and other minority positionalities in the world. They really emanate a legend-like quality and have voices that challenge oppressive norms. Is this an intentional chronicling amazing queers? EL: It wasn't really - hahahahha it was more like chronicling my crushes. Have you ever thought of doing that? It turns everyone into a legend and hero. CAYA: Part of what inspired The Comfort of Queer Family Wisdom, as I understand it, was your isolating experience as a racialized queer in Montreal. To combat this, you make your curatorial debut with the 2-Qtpoc festival, featuring the work of racialized queer artists. Could you perhaps speak to this experience?

EL: I have to say, it was really humbling. I didn't realize how arrogant I was.

I think anyone could relate to say - being in a queer bubble. When you're out of it, whether stuck in some kind of queer-phobic office, reunion, or town, it's kind of amazing how much it changes us. Right? It breaks down our confidence, our self-esteem, all of the truths that we hold to be self-evident.

I had never felt that way for months at a time. I was surrounded by people who were kind and warm, but truly didn't believe that I had a right to be in the province, or neat ideas, or sex appeal. It transformed me into an angry, bitter person. It really, truly blows my mind to think of the queers and racialized folks who live like that for years and lifetimes. They are incredible survivors.

CAYA: In your work, and in The Comfort of Queer Family Wisdom in particular, you often make reference to feminist, queer, and race theorists/activists throughout history, from Mitsuye Yamada to Punam Khosla. Is it this lineage of critical thought and community activism what you mean by “Queer Family Wisdom?”

EL: One of the important messages for me, is 'you are not alone.' Whether you're a racialized queer, or fighting for change, there are many generations of people on your side. YAY! <3 <3 <3

Check out Elisha's website at www.elishalim.com

It wasn’t true (just think of the health code violations!) but the idea of a sex-toy test-drive stuck with us.

Back in the day, sex shops kept their products on the walls in packaging, so you never quite knew what you were getting until you brought your purchase home and busted it out of the plastic clamshell packaging. When we opened in 1997, however, we thought we were being pretty revolutionary to present our collection out of packaging with working samples out on our shelves. No matter how much our samples-on-the-shelf approach helps you find a sex toy that works for you, it can never quite take all the mystery out of your bag of goodies!

As a sex shop on a mission to bring more pleasure to more people’s lives, we try to take the trickery out of sex toy retailing every day by being honest and up-front about the sex toys we carry, but what if you could truly try your vibrator before you committed to it?

We’re running a once-in-a-lifetime vibrator test-drive challenge: buy any vibe in October, and if you don’t like it, bring it back before the end of the month and swap it for something else. We’ll make sure your rejects are responsibly taken care of - they’ll never fulfill their sex toy destinies, but they’ll proudly raise some eyebrows at Toronto electronics recycling! Just be sure to let us know that you’re test-driving so we can give you a special exchange receipt!

Here’s why: When Come As You Are was founded, we were incorporated as a co-operative specifically to keep our interactions with you honest and untainted by commercial concerns. We exist purely to provide you with ideas, options, a space where you can feel good about (and not marginalized by) your sexuality, and tools to help you realize your sexual potential.

We can only do this because we have no ulterior motive in our interactions with you - we have no incentive to ‘sell you’ one product over another, and aside from our collective desire to keep our shop alive year after year, our only goal is to assist you on your journey wherever it takes you. We just want to help you find a path that works for you.

There was a particular irony in our interaction with this particular manufacturer: their high-end vibes are currently outselling everyone else’s. They make high-quality, well-designed vibrators and because we review all of the products we carry, everyone who works at Come As You Are can (and does) recommend their vibes without hesitation.

So, to all of the sex toy makers out there wondering how to make their sex toys ‘sell better’ at Come As You Are: just make better sex toys.

Tons of folks come into our store everyday to approach us about unwanted pain during sex play. It seems to be a very common phenomenon, why do you think it's not widely talked about?

It is very difficult for someone to be open about their pain when they have no way of identifying it. Often, women go through more than 5 practitioners before receiving a diagnosis for sexual pain after repeated rejection from doctors, invasive procedures and in some cases losing support from close friends or partners. Ultimately, the public knowledge is not there. Both women and men need to have sexual pain disorders in their vocabulary so that it can be easily identified and begin to be managed – in the same way that we know how to identify a flu. If someone can recognize that they are experiencing the symptoms of sexual pain then the healing journey can begin that much sooner, before damaging procedures and psychological detriment.

We are able to speak openly about chronic pain in our limbs, for example, but when it comes to our vagina, which biologically is another set of muscles, it is not so easy. Our vulvas represent the seat of our sexuality and to experience pain in our most intimate areas everyday has massive effects on our psychological/emotional wellbeing and more specifically our perception of self and sexual identity. This is what happens when a person’s sexual expression is stifled and why it can be very difficult to speak openly and confidently about sexual pain.

How did you become involved with The Vulva Girl Support Group?

Sexual pain is most often a battle that women find themselves fighting on their own. The Vulva Girl Support Group arose from the desire to change this. It was the National Vulvodynia Association (www.nva.org) that ultimately led me to a diagnosis after years of online research and confusion. Having the NVA as a resource felt like I had an army behind me - but it was a faceless army. I became interested in connecting with others experiencing my same trials and guiding women in pain away from unnecessary uncertainties and isolation. After interviewing for and assuming a volunteer position as provincial support leader, I noticed through the support work that the numbers were simply not adding up. According to the statistics there are thousands of women in Ontario experiencing sexual pain - but where were the and how to bring them out of the shadows? I recognized that the issue is rooted in the lack of awareness and saw the necessity to start locally. I wanted to foster an active and engaged community of women within a local network of resources and support – so I founded The Vulva Girl. I thought, if I was a superhero, I would be The Vulva Girl and sexual pain would be my arch nemesis.

What can a newcomer to the group expect at The Vulva Girl Support Group?

Support in every way possible! The strength of The Vulva Girl lies in our face to face social interaction - real women making real connections. It’s a unique network. We are not just women in pain. We are also practitioners and supporters. Some of us are leading pain free lives and helping others towards the same happy ending. Members instantly become part of our strong network of women experiencing sexual pain, practitioners and healers. We connect through a variety group activities and discussion forums but also provided one on one support sessions.

Sexual pain is usually something members don’t want to scream from the mountaintops. Not to worry – The Vulva Girl is a completely private group. This means that your information is in a safe and secure place. All support group content such as meet-up times and locations, resources, membership profiles, discussion forums etc. are visible only to members and each member is approved individually by yours truly :)

We also skype in members who are not able to join us in person so no matter how far you are from the GTA, we encourage women to join!

What kinds of activities do you folks do?

We have a range of group activities including our regular meet and greets for sharing experiences, resources, etc. Certain meet and greets include a specific topic for round table discussion such as relationships or pain management techniques. Our Professional Seminar Series connects women in pain with the knowledge they need to heal through a series of intimate discussions with practitioners engaged in fields with the most success for healing pain and easing pain management such as physiotherapy, acupuncture, CBS therapy, sexual therapy, tantra and much, much, much more. We will also be holding yoga classes focused on gently pelvic stretching, mindful meditation and muscle relaxation in the fall.

Your mantra at The Vulva Girl Support Group is "pleasure over penetration," can you elaborate on this?

The Vulva Girl group is pleasure’s biggest fan. We are dedicated to helping women find sexual satisfaction and enjoyment which is ultimately their birthright. By virtue of experiencing vulvar pain, women are practically forced to confront their bodies. I like to think that we are given the unique opportunity to become deeply in touch with our bodies since our healing depends on it. In many cases, women with vulvar pain haven’t been given the opportunity to mature sexually because our vagina simply says ‘no’. There is difficulty in finding partners who are willing to patiently explore a sexual relationship with a no-entry girl, but I see that most women in pain don’t know where to begin that journey. We get so hung up on that fact that nothing can go inside that our priority turns from being pleasured to being penetrated. I am a firm believer in that fact that you can be an utter babe AND have a sexual pain disorder. I’m having better sex now than back when I was pain free because I have explored so many sexual avenues in my continuing healing journey. Believe it or not, you can have a chronic pain condition and a juicy, steamy sex life - and we cannot wait to show you how!

It seems difficult for folks to find health practitioners who are knowledgeable and respectful about sexual unwanted pain, why aren't doctors more aware of this?

I wish I could give one clear reason that explains everything but I am going to have to lean on my personal experience with practitioners and my work as a support leader. My inclination is that doctors are not as educated on sexual pain disorders as they ought to be for women’s health issues, though improving, has generally lagged behind in Western medicine. Generally the attitude is that it looks like every other vagina therefore the pain must be in your head – and just like that, your health issues are excommunicated from the Western medical world because nothing can be done for you. This being said, there are vulvar and pain clinics in the city of Toronto that are there to help women. The problem is that women in pain don’t even know they exist because they haven’t found any conclusive diagnosis with the doctors they have seen. I feel that the revolution in women’s health issues is ongoing - while female sexual dysfunction is becoming better known, it is still fairly mum. Also, women were less likely decades ago to speak openly about sexual dysfunction to anyone, MDs included. There is a social stigma that plagues both men and women’s health, and it is that our sexual organs should just function properly – that if you can’t get off or get up, something is wrong with you – and this attitude desperately needs to be eradicated. I believe that the social stigma, though still present, has evolved since that time and allowed for an environment in which women can speak begin to speak openly about their pain.

Do you have any suggestions for folks who might be reading this and experience unwanted vulvar pain? Are there some take-home tips that you might suggest, or is everyone's experience really different?

Healing for vulvar pain is something that needs to be tailored to each individual person. There is no single way of treating chronic vulvar pain but there are many techniques including physiotherapy, acupuncture, western and eastern medicine, CBT therapy, tantric therapy and more. Finding professionals in these fields is an intense research process and The Vulva Girl seeks to consolidate that knowledge into one body to help you find out what form your healing journey can take.

There are initial steps that can help all women be receptive to healing. The most popular phrase I hear in my support work is "I thought I was a freak". Terrible, yes, but at a closer look extremely magical. Thought. Past-tense. This is the first step in initiating the healing journey: realizing that you were never alone, you are never alone, and you will never be alone. The next step is seeking support and taking advantage of it. If you have access to a support leader or resource, milk it! It’s also a good idea to keep up to date on the advancements in sexual pain healing methods. And the most important part: listen to your body. Do not force it to do anything it does not want to do.

You have a upcoming seminar for The Vulva Group Support Group, would you like to talk about it?

Absolutely! The Professional Seminar Series connects women in pain with the knowledge they need to heal through a series of intimate discussions with practitioners engaged in fields with the most success for healing pain and easing pain management. As part of this series, we will be exploring psychological approaches to sexual pain and opportunities offered by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Hypnosis, and Energy Psychology techniques (e.g., Emotional Freedom Technique - EFT) with Dr. Sandeep Hunjan, Clinical Psychologist on the evening of Friday, Sept 7th. Dr. Hunjan will also be hosting an EFT workshop later in the month and Yoga samplers will kick off in October!

Do you have any suggestions for other possible resources? Websites? Books? Etc...

A lot of published and online material can leave women dazed and confused in dealing with sexual pain. Because it’s often a problem women first tackle alone, they have likely combed through a lot of this material. I highly recommend ‘When Sex Hurts’ by Andrew Goldstein MD, Caroline Pukall PhD and Irwin Goldstein MD. The National Vulvodynia Association is at the frontlines for raising awareness at institutional and political levels and they also have great resources and booklets for women experiencing sexual pain. The Vulval Pain Society is wonderful too! The Vulva Girl will also have a vimeo/youtube channel which we will be uploading book reviews, vlogs and other goodies.

Andrew Mann has photographed landscapes, portraits and underwater scenes for over 30 years. More recently he began photographing female nudes.

Andrew is not a professional or commercial photographer. Photography is a passion, which he does not want to make a business, as that would take the creative joy out of it for him.

One of the themes in Andrew’s work is athletic female nudes. These images celebrate the strength and power of women, who do the same sorts of things that athletic men do, but much more gracefully, and with less muscle mass. Even women who have very strong muscles can have small body frames, so that pound for pound they are stronger than most men, without having to be bodybuilders with large, stringy muscles.

All of the athletic models in this exhibition are atypical of Andrew’s normal models, as they are circus performers, dancers or gymnasts. However, he works with women of all ages, body types and sizes, most of whom are not experienced models. Many had never posed nude before. About half the women he photographs are over 40, one is 61 and the oldest (so far) is 67. Some have “mommy tummy” and caesarian scars from having had children, most are not athletic, just normal women. The challenge is to select lighting, camera angles and poses — and a bit of careful Photoshop processing — to create surprisingly beautiful images.

Andrew uses professional quality Nikon digital cameras and lenses, and prints with archival quality Epson inks and papers. His equipment and processing allow him to make prints up to life size.

August, 2012

Despite this, we would never be so bold as to consider ourselves sex educators or experts - we have a wealth of information at our collective fingertips, but we like our sex educators AASECT certified, and we prefer our sexperts online or in the back pages of your local alternative weekly.

Each of us has a niche or a specialty (or a few), and we offer a wide variety of perspectives on sex and sexuality, but ultimately, we’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again, we firmly believe that you are the only expert on your sexuality, and we’re just here to provide ideas and options for your personal sexual journey.

People ask us an awful lot of questions, and for all of us, answering questions and having conversations about sex is our favourite part of this gig. People ask us the best questions and some we’re asked a lot: How can I female ejaculate? How can I last longer? What can I do about vaginal pain? Is [fill-in-the-blank] normal?

This week, someone phoned us to ask us ‘what is the meaning of orgasm?’. We talked for awhile about what orgasm might mean to different people at different times of their life. Before we hung up, they said ‘so, basically, orgasm means different things to different people?’ Yes, precisely.

So, what does orgasm mean to you?

On August 1st, The Vulva Girl Support Group for Sexual Pain is holding one of its regular meet and greets in which members join to share their experiences and concerns. This particular meet and greet marks the kickoff of our Professional Seminar Series in which professionals and practitioners from various backgrounds (such as physiotherapy, acupuncture, CBT therapy and more) explain what they can offer to women and pain and answer any questions from group members. The August 2st meetup includes a round table discussion and seminar from a certified pelvic floor therapist. Visit www.meetup.com/TheVulvaGirl/ and join for details!

Back in the day, ‘gay’ politics were indistinguishble from ‘sexual’ politics - they were one and the same. In the past couple of decades, the struggle has shifted and you’d be hard pressed to find a lot of sexual liberation happening in gay liberation.

Our whole society is in desperate need for a great coming out by people of all sexualities, orientations, and genders to combat the tide of sexual conservatism that seems to have swept through our communities.

As Canada’s favourite purveyors of sex toys, dvds, books and workshops, we have a keen sense of what sexual activities and practices our customers are interested in - and inevitably, our mail order department is jammed with orders from some of the most conservative communities in Canada. We often have multiple orders from several neighbours on the same street in those communities, and we would be willing to bet that each of those customers thinks they’re the only person in town who is into what they’re into.

Well, guess what? Not only are you not the only person in town into vibrators/dildos/butt plugs/leather gear/harness play, but we can almost guarantee that you’re not even the only person on your street. Similarly, if you have sexual concerns or issues with your sexual health, you’re not alone even if it feels like you are.

SO, Canada, when are you coming out?

Award-winning Toronto writer and performer S. Bear Bergman, best known for his funny and accessible work about gender and sexuality, has created a brand-new work - The Virginity Lost & Found - for the Toronto Fringe. 60% sex comedy, 30% sex education, and 10% interrogation of the whole concept of virginity, The Virginity Lost & Found is a new take on a very old topic.

The Virginity Lost & Found, an office of the Ministry of the Interior, is now down to one staff member – Mary Pat, an elderly government functionary with a carefully calibrated filing system and a very specific mandate. When her tiny office is thrown into chaos one morning due to budget cuts, she finds herself having to explain more than she expected - with hilarious results.

Played by Bergman in understated garden-granny drag, Mary Pat details the ins and outs of sexual debut with a growing confidence that just might surprise those with pre-conceived notions about the sexual values of the seventy-year-old set. Along the way, Mary Pat explains “pegging”, discusses queer virginities, waxes rhapsodic about mutual masturbation, has a good laugh about the ridiculous situations “losing it” can find us in, and extols the virtues of a good-quality lubricant.

Directed by Spencer Charles Smith, producing artistic director of Straight Camp, and written by Bergman himself, this fast-paced, sex-positive, feminist drag comedy raises interesting questions about virginity – losing it and finding it.

The July 8th performance of this show will be interpreted into sign language by Toronto interpreter Bonnie-Lyn Barker, sponsored by Come As You Are, Canada's co-operative sex store. This will be the first-ever Toronto Fringe performance presented with ASL interpreting as far as anyone currently affiliated with the festival is aware.

For interviews with writer/performer S. Bear Bergman or director Spencer Charles Smith, please contact Bear at bear@sbearbergman.com or 647.802.3623. Interviews are available in English or, with advance notice, with a sign-language interpreter.

Email contests@comeasyouare.com to win tickets to the performance on July 10th!

Check out our selection of queer and trans educational books and DVDs on sale!

One such group to have taken on that monumental task is the Aboriginal Writer’s Collective of Manitoba, who got together to create a sexy anthology of indigenous erotica titled “xxx ndn: love and lust in ndn country.” Xxx ndn features titillating poems, short-erotic stories and beautiful prose, all of which deviate greatly from formulaic mainstream erotica. Most importantly, xxx ndn is part and parcel of a recent surge in indigenous erotica, titles that challenge stereotypes of indigenous sexuality, speak to the sexualization of indigenous women in mainstream culture, and generally reclaim indigenous views of sexual fluidity and power. Titles such as “Sovereign Erotics: A Collection of Two-Spirit Literature,” Richard Van Camp’s “The Moon of Letting Go and Janet Roger’s “Red Erotic” are all part of this reclamation tradition.

Editor of xxx ndn, Katherena Vermette, was so kind to answer some questions for CAYA Co-operative/Come As You Are. In the interview below, Katherena describes the inspiration, process and meaning of writing indigenous erotica.

What is the Aboriginal Writer's Collective of Manitoba and how did it come about?

The collective originally started in the late 80’s or so, when a group of indigenous writers here in Winnipeg decided to get together and share work. That group was resurrected in the late 90’s by the feisty Rosanna Deerchild and started meeting regularly, planning shows and chapbooks. Others have been picked up along the way. Only the brave ones stick. Brave with a high tolerance for crazy. I've been around [the aboriginal writer’s collective] since 2004.

What sort of programs and services do you folks offer?

We've done shows, made books, as well as one spoken word CD as a group. These days, we are facilitating a lot of workshops and have a regular program with the Winnipeg Public Library. We also use our Facebook group page as a networking tool, connecting writers and newbie writers.

We're also firmly entrenched in organizing the Aboriginal Literary Arts Festival. Originated in Brandon, it's now going to be held in Winnipeg (at least for the next couple of years). We're having a smaller, local festival in October 2012 and a larger nationally focused festival in early 2014.

What prompted the idea of writing an erotic anthology?

We noticed a bit of a trend in the area of indigenous erotic writing. The reclamation of indigenous sexuality was just the kind of movement we could get excited about (get it! get it!). As a group, our writing practices usually revolve around a theme, so we all tried our hand at writing some of the kinky stuff. We also invited several writers from across the country to contribute. The results are the varying levels of kink that are found in xxx ndn. It was so much fun! I love the mix of ideas; by far the most hilarious editing I have ever done!

What did that process look like?

When it gets down to it, we keep it pretty simple. We sent around an email saying, "hey, we wanna do an erotica collection, wanna send something kinky-like?" and just waited for responses. We got a lot! Then we fundraised for about a year to get enough money for good printing. We wanted it to look pretty, and it does! It is such a beautiful book and I am so proud of it!

How does an anthology of aboriginal erotica aid in breaking down myths about indigeneity?

Historically, over the last few hundred years anyway, indigenous sexuality has taken a beating. Internally, indigenous cultures are suffering from the effects of residential schools and oppressive religious beliefs. These effects hinder individuals seeking to find a healthy sexual outlook. (I love the innuendoes that come out of these conversations). Erotica is an artistic expression of that healthy, it's-ok-to-be-horny outlook. Indigenous erotica like xxx ndn seeks to show indigenous people, and all people, that sexuality is not a sin; it is not bad and it is completely human. Outwardly, indigenous erotica shows the world that the stoic indian can be pretty sexy, and funny! Inevitably, indigenous erotica becomes funny! The two go hand in hand (get it! get it!)

Do you folks have any further plans for sexy writing adventures?

I know some of our members write the sexy stuff. As a group, there are no plans to do this theme again, but you never know. We might feel the urge again. Either way, we continue to encourage and read it. There's some great stuff out there. Janet Rogers' new book Red Erotic comes to mind! Go buy it!!

xxx ndn: love and lust in ndn country is available at Come As You Are!

Get more information about the Aboriginal Writer’s Collective!

            The answer might be right in our own, busy, downtown back yard. Up & Coming Magazine, an independent publication from Toronto, is a much needed voice in the world of sexploration. This small-time mag packs some punches, with its debut featuring the work of queer photographer Bruce LaBruce, trans and sex-worker activist Lexi Tronic, and the fabulous talents of resident Up & Coming photographer Mark Peckmezian. Up & Coming features a range of sexual preferences, gender expressions and sexual exploits, stepping away from tired assumptions and myths about what’s sexy, and who gets turned on by what. This mag certainly doesn’t represent the traditional men’s magazine, where heterosexual men are the only target market, where women are gazed at while barred from looking, and when men and women are the only genders to be seen at all.

Up & Coming may just be the face of our sexual times, pulling from our deliciously fluid hodge-podge of sex, raunch and wonder. The magazine features work from new and emerging artists, from kinky-porn embroidery, short erotic fiction, sexy collages and nude photography. One expects things to come from this quarterly, local mag – and quite frankly, the only way to make it happen is to contribute! So no more complaining about the lack of representation, about the unrealistic, prescriptive, and often sexist “tips and tricks” that seem inherent to adult mags. If you think that media needs to catch-up to real-time sexualities- then why not help beef up this mag with your wicked voice?

            Up & Coming editor and creator Mike Feswick, was so kind to answer some of Come As You Are/CAYA Co-operative’s questions about the vision of Up & Coming.

What prompted you to start up a smutty mag?

This project has been a dream of mine for a few years now. By exploring my own sexuality I have developed a strong interest in human sexual behaviors. This magazine is in a sense a journey – part my own, part the contributors’ and most importantly, the readers’. I want people to accept sexuality as something that is fluid and unpredictable.

 What's your relationship with dirty magazines or sex culture?

I grew up with the dawn of the internet, so there wasn’t much need to buy smutty magazines.  I would watch porn on the internet, first by download until streaming sites started popping up (amen to that). Having said that, I like the idea of having something you can hold in your hands and flip through again and again, reading materials that people can collect.

I have been mesmerized by erotic photography and art since I was a teenager. In 2011, when I started working at a porn shop in downtown Toronto, it opened the door for me to further explore this world. I’m still new in the sex community in Toronto and although I see some disconnect between groups, overall it seems to be filled with positive people who are happy to promote diversity and celebrate their sexuality. To bring people together, we will host a monthly pool party at Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto where readers can meet, eat and more. The next one is Sunday May 29^th!

 What's your vision of Up & Coming, and how do you see it as a process connected to the history of smut? How do you hope it may be different?

I would like Up & Coming to educate people on different aspects of sexuality, and introduce readers to new forms of pleasure. Unlike other dirty mags, Up & Coming does not segregate readers by appealing to only one type of person. It is designed for anyone to pick up and read, regardless of their sexual orientation. We transcend all boundaries and labels. Society has been so sexually repressed in the past few centuries, it is finally time for us to love and accept each other for who we are. People should not be teased for being different, they should be supported and encouraged to be who they want to be.  Thankfully, sexual ‘norms’ are already becoming more open; Up & Coming pushes this paradigm shift further.

 Up & Coming spans tons of different experiences of sex, gender and sexuality - was this a conscious decision?

Yes, totally. Up & Coming celebrates sexuality – with no prefix attached.

Personally, I wanted to see a magazine that showed men, women and trans folk because they are all beautiful and sexually appealing to me.

 What sort of contributions are you looking for?

We are looking for anything from erotica to pornography as long as it is intelligent, artistic and tasteful. We also accept any essays, interviews, smut, poetry, or any other creative writing…
Basically, send us anything at all as long as it has to do with sex!

Think you’ve got something sexy to say? Why not contribute?

For more information, check out Up & Coming’s facebook page, or go directly to their website at http://www.upandcomingmagazine.ca/

You can purchase your copy of Up & Coming Vol 1 for $9.99 in store at Come As You Are, or online via our website

Masturbation is a glorious part of our human capacity to enjoy sexual pleasure. Most people masturbate. Yet we live in a sex negative culture that maligns masturbation and ridicules masturbators. At Come As You Are, we want to change all that. Masturbation is healthy, it’s an elemental aspect of our sexuality. Now you can fight for masturbation, promote sexual health, raise money for a good cause, and get off at the same time!

The Masturbate-a-Thon is a one of a kind fundraiser that encourages participants to enjoy a full day of solo sex and raise funds for important sexual health organizations. We’re sure it’s the most fun you’ll ever have with philanthropy (no blistered feet or Jerry Lewis!) Plus if you are one of the top five fundraisers you can win a selection of exciting and gratifying prizes from Come As You Are.

Here’s how it works:

Between now and May 26th ask your friends, co-workers, and loved ones to sponsor you for every minute that you masturbate on National Masturbation Day (or just use the form below).

On May 26th masturbate your heart out, don’t hold back, remember you’re not just doing it for yourself, your doing it for the higher cause.

Once you’re done, and you’ve given yourself a few days to recuperate, tell your friends how much money they helped you raise, round up your loot and drop it along with your pledge form in the mail to us: Come As You Are 493 Queen Sttreet West, Toronto, on, M5V 2B4, or if you’re in Toronto drop it by our store!

Whether you raised $1 or $1000 you will receive 10% off your next Come As You Are purchase. The top five fundraisers will win a bevy of beautiful prizes.

All monies raised will be donated to and Maggie’s. Maggie’s is a drop-in and resource centre run by and for sex workers.

About Maggie’s

Maggie’s: The Toronto Sex Workers Action Project is an organization run for and by local sex workers. They’re mission is to assist sex workers in their efforts to live and work with safety and dignity. Maggie’s was founded on the belief that in order to improve circumstances, sex workers must control their own lives and destinies.

Maggie’s welcome workers of all genders from all areas of the sex trade - street-based sex workers, exotic dancers, escorts, pornography actors, phone sex operators, professional dominants and submissives, erotic massage workers, web cam workers, and others.

Learn more about Maggie’s at: http://maggiestoronto.ca/

Get Involved!

Thank for for supporting the inalienable right to self-pleasure! After you have masturbated to your heart’s delight on May 26th, have your sponsors make their contribution and drop everything off with your form to our store, or mail it to our shop!

Join us for our once a year inventory sell out! Our ever popular toonie bin returns with discontinued books, sex toy overstock colours and outrageous one-off samples. Don't miss out on rocking tunes with DJ Winnie, cupcakes and hourly door prizes. See you there!

On one hand, this interaction was amazing. It is the kind of breakthrough in people’s sexual lives that we live for, but it also made me feel a bit resentful that I was being asked to be the educator when my own sexual education consisted of little more than that episode of Degrassi where Yick and Arthur called Sue Johanson from a pay phone.

One of our most beloved Canadian lube creators, Hathor Aphrodisia, was started by a mother-daughter team. I always say this is really endearing or really awkward depending on how open you are with your own parents. I cannot imagine making lube with my mom, let alone discussing it - yet, there I was, discussing lube with my mom. Truly amazing and so very awkward.

See, even though folks at Come As You Are spend almost all day, every day comfortably talking to folks about sex toys, sexual pleasure, sexual health, and sexual education - open dialogue about sexuality within our own families can still be awkward, or downright difficult to achieve.

As we always say, ‘we’re here to help!’ and as such, I sent my mom away with a book, a vibe, some Hathor lube, and a fistful of (free) Come As You Are educational brochures.

Most of us probably won’t find ourselves doing sexual education with our parents, but many of us will be or are already responsible for the sex education of our children.

We find sometimes when we talk about sex-positive parenting, some folks seem to equate it with sexually-permissive parenting - which is really not the same thing at all. Neither does sex-positive parenting have to be particularly explicit.

We live in a hypersexual and sexually explicit culture, and while so many of us try to shield our kids from the sexual messages the media puts out, that’s only half the battle. The other half is to provide positive and accurate information for our kids.

This month, there has been an astounding convergence of sex-positive parenting messaging in and around Come As You Are and we are so delighted to share it with you!

Our dear friend and former worker-owner, Cory Silverberg, has started a KickStarter campaign to have his picture book What Makes a Baby published. With illustrations from local artist Fiona Smyth, Cory’s forthcoming book explains where babies come from for every kind of family and every kind of kid.

At the end of March, world renowned author Susie Bright is in-town and in-house with her Sex Positive Parenting Workshop for one night only. This is a rare opportunity to see Susie in person and to benefit from her vast wealth of knowledge and expertise.

For more information and resources on sex positive parenting, please visit www.comeasyouare.com/parenting

Erotic Memoir: A Writing Workshop with Susie Bright

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012. 7:30-9:30PM
A sex journal is like any diary - it simply doesn’t hide or lie about the sexual part of life. It’s a place to preserve your private adventures, remind yourself of close calls, and think about your fantasies, as well as contemplate things you’ve never put to words before. In this workshop, Susie Bright will get you writing, on the spot, to bring candor and articulation to your sexual history and philosophy. She’ll give you the prompts and chops to say what needs to be said to explore the sexual aspects of your life through memoir. $35 | learn more about Erotic Memoir: A Writing Workshop with Susie Bright

Review and Win!

Instantly get 15% off any online order and help your guide your fellow online shoppers at comeasyouare.com by just sharing your opinion. Here's how it works: go to www.comeasyouare.com, find your favourite sex toy, book, DVD, or workshop and let us know what you think! You'll receive a coupon code instantly to apply to any order before March 31st, 2012!

• Anal Pleasure: Enjoying Anal Play
• Changing Erections: Erectile Dysfunction and Pleasure
• Gee Whiz: The G-Spot and Female Ejaculati
• From Bottom to Top: BDSM for Beginners
• Sex and Unwanted Pain: Reimagining Paths to Pleasure
• Slippery When Wet: Know Your Lube
• Safer Sex is Great Sex: Better Use a Latex
• Silicone Dilators
• Care and Cleaning Info
• Nettoyage et Soins

As such, these interactions leave everyone frustrated. We don’t get asked the questions we want to answer, and folks in the media don’t get the answers they’re looking for. Sigh.

The reality is that our co-operative is about individuals and not about groups of people. We can’t give catch-all answers about sex toys or sexuality because it is inevitable that those answers won’t apply to a significant proportion of the folks reading the answer.

At our heart, we are people-pleasers. We love customer service. We adore making you happy. We live for your satisfied smile when you leave our store with a shiny new vibrator or replacement charger for your Lelo (on the house, of course!) or because you’re just happy you found a new or interesting idea in our shop.

Ultimately, we so wish we could give easy answers to complicated questions that would satisfy everyone. It would be so easy if there was just one way to introduce a sex toy into your relationship, or just one way to have an orgasm or feel sexually satisfied, or just one way to keep your relationship fresh.

But that would make for a very boring collective sexual experience, wouldn’t it?

Our sex lives are not uncomplicated because we as people are intrinsically complicated. Being turned-on, or sexually interested, or romantically inspired requires more than just a vibrator or a box of chocolates - especially around Valentine’s Day!

Instead, for so many of us, feeling good sexually is about feeling respected, and valued, and yes, sexy - and each of us requires something a little bit different to feel good in our sexual minds and bodies.

If you’re struggling to come up with a way to make a special someone feel especially sexual this Valentine’s, we suggest starting with the special instead of the sexual.

What makes your beloved unique? What is their sexuality about? What turns them on? What makes them feel sexy? What are their fantasies? Do they have a favourite kind of sex toy? A favourite colour? A favourite position? These are all great starting points.

If you don’t know the answers to these questions, that’s even more exciting! This is an amazing moment to explore these questions together, and to make Valentine’s Day truly all about them. May we suggest one of our many themed Sex Decks for inspiration?

Still craving some sex advice? Check out our Valentine’s sex toy suggestions or our perfectly generic Top Ten Tips to Improve Your Sex Life or if you’re looking for some individual attention, come see us in-store, or drop us a line at info@comeasyouare.com

When it comes to sex we’ve always believed the lines between giving and receiving are fuzzy at best. This Valentine’s Day we’re bringing that theory into reality by offering you something for yourself, just for giving something to someone else.  Everyone wins.

From now until February 14th, place any order over $100 and receive a gift certificate for $20 to spend on yourself!

If you’re looking for inspiration, check out our Valentine’s Day gift ideas!

From noon until the wee hours on February 11th, dozens of vendors will be on hand working and selling romantic crafts, all under one roof for this one day. This year we are also adding a rollicking Cabaret to cap off the night starting at 9:30pm and going until late with a DJ’d afterparty. For all info and vendor submissions check out www.eroticartsandcrafts.com.

As a worker-owned, sex-positive sex shop, we fancy ourselves revolutionary on so many levels. Most importantly, we hope our existence provides a space where folks can gain the tools and the information to launch their own personal sexual revolutions against the tyrannical forces of shame and fear.

This is our raison d'être - to provide a small corner of the world where people can feel good about their desire and sexuality.

Let's face it, for so many of us, there are so few parts of our lives where we aren't marginalized or stigmatized for being open about our sexualities. The holidays can be a real reminder of how closed much of our lives are to honest sexual expression - especially for those of us who happen to co-operatively own a sex shop and suddenly find themselves scrambling to describe CAYA workshops to long-lost family without using the words 'female ejaculation' or 'fellatio', let alone 'blow jobs' or 'fisting'. Yikes!

The real revolution, however, is in our co-operative structure and democratic workplace.

Among the many beliefs we hold dear, we sincerely believe that most of you tune out as soon as we start talking about our business structure. We know that everyone would much rather talk to us about sex toys, or porn, or the time Shannon Bell ejaculated on our bookshelf during a workshop (repeatedly), than about our consensus-based decision making model, or our visioning process, or our very strong feelings about the Ontario Worker Co-operative Federation, or our membership process.

However, the United Nations has declared 2012 to be the International Year of the Co-operative and while we're always happy to discuss anything and everything concerning sexual pleasure, health, and education, we also consider it our duty to spread the good word about worker-owned co-operatives. We promise, our co-operative structure is actually the least boring thing about us.

Co-operatives are different because they are owned by their own membership and they are responsible to their own membership. For some co-ops, the members are the people who shop in the store (like MEC), but for other co-ops, like Come As You Are, the business is owned by the folks who work for the business.

This means that all of the worker-owners have an equal say in how we run the company (the products we carry, the workshops we run, the health benefits we get, etc) and there are no external shareholders and no big boss dictating how we do business and demanding we satisfy their need for profit.

Instead, we have completely invested worker-owners who have no interest other than making our customers happy, keeping the store running smoothly, bringing in more worker-owners, and hopefully making a living wage doing it. We've always believed sex toys could change the world, and more and more each day, we believe that co-operatives can too.

To find out more about our co-operative, check out our website or to learn more about worker co-operatives in Canada, take a look at the Canadian Worker Co-op Federation website!

Female Ejaculation & The G-spot Workshop with Shannon Bell

Monday, January 16, 2012. 7:30 – 10:00PM
Unique among female ejaculation pioneers, Shannon Bell's focus is on demonstrating the extreme power and technique of female ejaculation in a safe and fun atmosphere. This popular workshop begins with a live demonstration of the power and potential of ejaculation techniques, followed by a fast female ejaculation genealogy. Join us for an enlightening and inspiring tour that finally contextualizes both personal and historical g-spot knowledge. $30 | check out Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

10 Rules For Happy Non-Monogamy Workshop with Andrea Zanin

Sunday, January 22, 2011, 5:30-7:30PM
So you'd like to be romantically involved with more than one person at once? Or maybe you'd just like to sleep with someone other than your one-and-only? Whether you're considering your first steps into non-monogamy or you're an old hand looking for a fresh perspective, you'll find valuable tidbits in this common-sense approach to enjoying love and sex in the plural. $30 | learn more about 10 Rules For Happy Non-Monogamy

Get your erotic arts and crafts on!

Are you a kinky crafter, a naughty knitter, a dirty designer or someone who is? We want you!

We're currently accepting applications for our annual Valentine's Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair (and cabaret!!) at Toronto's infamous Gladstone Hotel.

Fees are minimal (seriously, we don't make a penny off this event), the exposure is great (we get good media attention for the event and even have our publicist working the fair), and you'll get to bump elbows with other folks who share your passion for the erotic arts and meet your fans.

How do you feel about sex toys?

Have you ever wanted to make a contribution to (social) science? If so, we have the survey for you! Leah Shumka, a doctoral student at the University of Toronto, is conducting research into women's relationship to sex toys and she wants your input!

The survey is quick and dirty (in the best possible way!) and all information collected through the survey is anonymous and confidential. Best of all, everyone who participates will be entered into a random draw to win a $60 gift certificate at Come As You Are!

To participate you must: 1) self-identify as a woman; 2) be 19 years of age; 3) live in Toronto or the surrounding area; and 4) use (or have used) sex toys. The survey will be open December 15th through February 14th, 2012. The draw for the gift certificate will take place on February 15th, 2012. | fill out the survey

Have you ever wanted to make a contribution to (social) science? If so, we have the survey for you! Leah Shumka, a doctoral student at the University of Toronto, is conducting research into women's relationship to sex toys and she wants your input!

The survey is quick and dirty (in the best possible way!) and all information collected through the survey is anonymous and confidential. Best of all, everyone who participates will be entered into a random draw to win a $60 gift certificate at Come As You Are!

To participate you must: 1) self-identify as a woman; 2) be 19 years of age; 3) live in Toronto or the surrounding area; and 4) use (or have used) sex toys. If interested in participating please visit www.anthrosexsurvey.com. The survey will be open December 15th through February 14th, 2012. The draw for the gift certificate will take place on February 15th, 2012.

For more information contact: leah@anthrosexsurvey.com.

To keep things interesting, click on this here link to take our sex-toy-roulette for a spin. Prizes range from free shipping (boring), to massage oil (you're getting warmer...), to prostate massagers (too hot?).

Claim your prize here!

Holiday Shopping Tips

We can't think of anything sweeter to get your sweetie for Christmas or the holidays than the kind of erotic gift that keeps on giving.  Sex toys, porn, erotica collections may not be right for the family portion of your holidays, but as a secret tucked under a pillow or at the bottom of the suitcase, they're tops.

This is not to say that buying sex toys for the holidays is an easy task. Fortunately, we can help! Check out our holiday sex toy shopping tips, skip right to the $30-or-under sexy stocking stuffers, or splurge this season with a luxury sex toy!

So Kirsten, you've just got your project Hot Topic published by Maison Kasini in the form of the book "Hot Topic: Portraits in 20th Century Feminists," featuring oil-based portraits of all the feminist named in the Le Tigre's infamous "Hot Topic" song. What was your interest in producing such a project?

Yeah, it's so exciting to have the project collected into a book! It's just really nice to be able to flip through and see all of the images alongside bios of these amazing people.

"Hot Topic" has been one of my favourite songs for a long time, but this isn't a fan piece.

The goal of the project was to engage in a form of activism that was not critical of dominant culture, but instead celebratory of alternative social movements. The series depicts an informal “who’s who” of feminist icons from the last century, and it's my hope that these paintings will play a small role in preserving the memory of these influential underground figures.

In a world that celebrates manufactured pop stars but forgets the names of suffragists, I wanted to find a way to solidify the memory of the underground superstars whose creativity and ideas have made such a difference to feminists of my generation The paintings are exhibited along with a free ‘zine that includes a short biography of each person, allowing the gallery to act as an environment of dialogue and education as opposed to merely a visual space.

With the new year on the horizon, and all of the wonder of the holiday season upon us, this season holds so much promise - and so much pressure.

Whether you actively engage in the Santa-scene (and we're not referring specifically to the annual yule-log-themed fetish party) there's a whole world of expectations and ideas of how we should participate in the holiday season. Similarly, there's a whole world of ideas about how we should think about and experience sex and love - and December holds the unique designation as being the month when these ideas and expectations combine and leave a lot of us feeling a bit lost.

We have devoted an entire section of our web site to holiday shopping tips and stocking stuffer suggestions but essentially, our ideas about Christmas shopping are kind of similar to our suggestions for folks just starting out in anal play: relax, go slow, and you can't go wrong with lube!

We're probably the only retail establishment that will tell you that the most expensive gift is not necessarily the best gift. We're also probably the only sex shop around that will actually let you know that it is alright to not buy anything at all. We will never tell you what to buy, or tell you what the most 'popular' toy is. We want you to find the sex toy, book, DVD, or workshop that's right for you - not the one that was right for someone else.

We truly believe that the only good sex toy is the one that works for you (or for your partner), and sometimes the best Christmas gift is swinging by our (new) shop at 493 Queen West, perusing our website together, or checking out a workshop to create a sexy experience rather than a sexy gift.

Holiday Shopping Tips

We can't think of anything sweeter to get your sweetie for Christmas or the holidays than the kind of erotic gift that keeps on giving.  Sex toys, porn, erotica collections may not be right for the family portion of your holidays, but as a secret tucked under a pillow or at the bottom of the suitcase, they're tops.

This is not to say that buying sex toys for the holidays is an easy task. Fortunately, we can help! Check out our holiday sex toy shopping tips, skip right to the $30-or-under sexy stocking stuffers, or splurge this season with a luxury sex toy!

We've moved!

After almost 15 years on West Queen West, Come As You Are recently moved on up to the Queen West neighbourhood in Toronto. Sandwiched between Queen Street's obligatory American Apparel and Urban Outfitters, the new Come As You Are is still on Queen Street West but is now just two blocks west of Spadina (on the south side of the street). Look for the blue sign! Check out the coverage and photots of our opening over at BlogTO.com!

As some of you already know from the relentless Come As You Are rumour mill (or just the ‘for lease’ sign obnoxiously thrust upon our windows), this month we’re preparing to say goodbye to seven-oh-one Queen Street West. Better known as “The 701” from back-in-the-day when Peaches and Feist lived upstairs, this has been our collective home-away-from-home for over fourteen years, and the upstairs apartment has housed a continuous line of artists and activists from the beginning (we still get their mail...and their royalty cheques!)

We always knew this day would come. Little by little, our neck of the woods has been bought up by property developers large and small as independent property-owning retailers retire and sell. As West Queen West moves on, so must we!

As of November 15th, Come As You Are will have a brand new home where you always thought we were! Now, when you call and ask for directions, we’ll tell you we’re located about a block west of Spadina on the southside of Queen. That is, we’re moving on up to the eastside (of Queen West)!

Our new space is bigger, more accessible, and has ample space for our infamous hands-on workshops with Midori coming up in November and December (see the back of this newsletter for details). We’re also relocating our offices back to the store-space, so all of our staff and worker-owners will be accessible to answer questions and you will all be able to see just how we work harder to make sex easier!

To celebrate, the staff and worker-owners will be launching a full-scale production of Rent, uh, I mean, we’re throwing a huge party on December 3rd at 493 Queen Street West!

Are you a detail-oriented, highly organized self-starter interested in helping others make healthy sexual choices?

Does the idea of using your problem solving skills in a democratic work environment sound exciting?

Are you looking for an opportunity to engage your love of meaningful work and collaborative communication skills in a company committed to progressive business practices that offers you a chance to share in the success of the company?

If so, we want to hear from you. Our co-operative offers an extensive paid three week training, the opportunity to actively participate in the direction of the company, staff discounts, paid sick leave, and health benefits. Staff also have the opportunity to become owners and shareholders in the company.

We are looking for motivated individuals with a minimum of one year of customer service or retail experience. Volunteer experience, bilingualism & sexual health/education experience are all assets.

We are committed to diversity in hiring.

Please fill out an application. Only candidates with completed applications will be considered. Deadline for application is Tuesday November 15, 2011. Please fill out an application at www.comeasyouare.com or email work@comeasyouare.com. Please download a Come As You Are job application as a word doc or pdf and e-mail or fax it to us at 416-504-7490.

I love this story because it illustrates a couple of fundamental facts about who we are at Come As You Are. The first is that we will go out of our way to find just about anything for you. We may not have it in stock, and we might not be able to order it for you, but at the very least we can point you in the right direction and help you along in your search.

The second is that we take sex pretty seriously. That isn’t to say sex and sex toys, DVDs, books and workshops aren’t fun - they’re the most fun! - but we take what we do seriously and we take your sex lives seriously. This is what our core value ‘working harder to make sex easier’ is all about.

The thing is, almost none of the conversations we have that begin with ‘I know this is really weird, but...’ turn out to be all that weird. We’re still as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as the first day we opened our doors in 1997, but to say we’ve seen it all in the past 14 years would be an understatement.

We’re all individuals with different desires and diverging ideas about sex, but so many of us have had similar sexual experiences, the same challenges selecting the ‘right’ vibrator, or shared concerns about sexual health.

So whether you’re looking for a large leather dildo, have questions about how to clean your silicone toy, are looking for that new Fun Factory vibe, or are just wondering which Ducky Doolittle workshop is right for you - hit us up!

The big Lelo Blow Out

Ever wanted a next-generation vibrator, but balked at the price? Well, as we approach our November moving date, those cases of Lelo vibrators in our stockroom are starting to look awfully heavy. So, how about this? We'll help lighten the financial burden of owning one of the world's best vibrators, and you can help lighten the load on moving day! Alternately, we fully expect to see you all in November to help us carry this stuff over to the new location! | Get in on our Lelo vibrator sale

This October!  Ducky Doolittle Workshops!

Ducky DooLittle is above all else an artist. An unstoppable, sexy, creative force. In the last 20 years she has emerged from behind the peepshow glass to find herself at the head of the class as one of America's most celebrated sex educators.  This October, Ducky is bringing her Pop His Rocket, Sex For Survivors, Art & Nature of Being Sexy and Art of the Female Orgasm workshops to Toronto! Register for our fall workshops!

Well, this sale is the big exception. This Sunday, October 2nd, we are having our first ever pre-moving sale! Never fear, we're not moving far - just a little closer to Spadina where so many folks seem to think we are anyhow! - and since schlepping silicone to Spadina will be heavy, and because we need to raise some funds to renovate the new space, we're having a massive sale!

For folks online, we will be offering great discounts (in addition to everything already part of the 'rainy day sale') on all of our sex toys and DVDs. If you get subscribed to our newsletter by Saturday, you'll get something extra special from us (deeper discounts, freebies, and more!).

In store, you'll get the full four-in-one sale experience! Our sex toys and DVDs will be 15% - as well as some specific items marked way down. PLUS! We're having a garage sale and a bake sale! The garage sale will be a wide assortment of one-off sex toys, some computer stuff, an old-school slide projector, and all of the awesome random things a sex shop co-operative accumulates over fourteen years! The bake sale will be mostly vanilla, but we promise some erotic content (cumshot cookies? breast cupcakes?).

If you want to help out, but don't particularly need a new vibrator (?) or a bottle of Sliquid Organics (now back in stock!) right now, you can still help invest (did someone say something about investing?) in the future of our co-operative, we'll be offering a sale on gift certificates so you can pick up a shiny new Lelo at your leisure and still lend a hand!

Keep an eye on this space on Saturday at midnight or get subscribed to our newsletter to get in on the action!

In the world of sex toys lurks a category of vaguely sex- related products that is often overlooked, and almost never discussed. This is the world of products that we refer to as ‘sensuals’ and includes massage oils, body balms, flavoured oils, nipple gels, chocolate body paint, and more.

As with many of the items we carry in our Queen West shop and online, we have to carefully review all of the products we stock to ensure that we only carry those select sex toys, books, and DVDs that we feel contribute something positive to the world of human sexuality. This means screening for products that aren’t body-safe; doing in-store tests to ensure lubricants that claim to be condom-compatible actually are; and side-stepping products that are culturally appropriative or just plain racist.

Adhering to and honouring our sex-positive and anti- oppressive mandate is especially difficult when we try to find good, healthy sensual products. Inevitably, the manufacturers of these sorts of products exploit cultural stereotypes to market their products (we’re pretty sure there’s no reference to strawberry champagne sugar oil in the Kama Sutra, for instance), use all sorts of ingredients that should never be put inside a body, and generally violate all of the ideas we have about what sex-positivity, sensuality, and physical connection should be all about.

The irony is that we love these sorts of products. Massage is such a simple and beautiful way to express affection, care, and attraction, and flavoured balms provide a sweet excuse to tongue down someone you love.

This month, we’re dedicating this newsletter to a whole line of sensual items that we’re simply proud to carry in-store.

Get your learn-on for FREE!

For a limited time only, sign up for any two Come As You Are workshops, and attend a third for FREE! Take advantage of our back-to-school special and check out our fall workshops with Ducky Doolittle, Midori, Jamye Waxman, and Shannon Bell! This offer only applies to workshops at Come As You Are. Learn more!

Fall Workshops at Come As You Are!

September: Jamye Waxman

• Porn Star Sex Secrets For The Rest Of Us -Tuesday, September 13th
• Blowjob Bootcamp - Monday, September 12th

Jamye Waxman is most recently the author of Getting Off: A Women’s Guide to Masturbation (Seal Press). She has been dubbed “the nexxxt generation of sex educator” by Wired.com. She has her masters in sex ed from Widener University, and is the sex advice columnist for Playgirl Magazine as well as one of the hosts of Fresh Advice on Cherrytv.com. Her work also appears in Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Zink, AVN Novelty, Xbiz, Steppin’ Out and RealitySandwich.com. Learn more about Jamye Waxman at www.jamyewaxman.com

September: Shannon Bell

• Female Ejaculation Workshop - Sunday, September 18th

Shannon Bell is a performance philosopher who-lives-and- writes philosophy-in-action. Her books include: Fast Feminism (2010); Reading, Writing and Rewriting the Prostitute Body (1994); Whore Carnival (1995); Bad Attitude/s on Trial coau- thored (1997); New Socialisms co-edited (2004). Most recently Shannon Bell is researching extremes in art, particularly bio and hybrid art, and working on shooting theory - videoing - imagining philosophical concepts. Bell is an associate profes- sor in York University’s Political Science Department in Toronto, Canada. She teaches modern and post-contemporary theory, cyberpolitics, aesthetics and politics, violent philosophy and fast feminism.

October: Ducky Doolittle

• Pop His Rocket - Saturday, October 15th
• Sex For Survivors - Sunday, October 16th, FREE
• Art & Nature Of Being Sexy - Sunday, October 16th
• The Art Of The Female Orgasm - Monday, October 17th
• Pop His Rocket - Tuesday, October 18th

Ducky DooLittle is above all else an artist. An unstoppable, sexy, creative force. In the last 20 years she has emerged from behind the peepshow glass to find herself at the head of the class as one of America’s most celebrated sex educators. Ducky’s unabashed openness about her life developed into a successful career as a journalist and advice columnist. Over the years she has used her writing to pursue her deep lust for knowledge and understanding in regard to personal relationships, sexuality, compassion and human rights - along with her immense sense of humor. Learn more about Ducky Doolittle at www.duckydoolittle.com.

November/December: Midori

Author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage and Wild Side Sex, and her latest erotic science fiction Master Han’s Daughter, educator and columnist on adventurous sexuality, Midori has travels the world presenting to universities, groups and media.

Midori is known for her humanistic, humorous and warm classes that help people to spice up people’s sex lives and encourage self discovery and personal growth. Her weekend intensives called ‘Women’s Sensual Dominance Weekend Intensive’ and ‘Rope Bondage Dojo (TM)’ have been sell-out hits for years.

Born in Japan and raised in a feminist intellectual Tokyo household, she served in the US Army while earning her psychology degree from University of California, Berkeley.

Numerous years as a sex educator with San Francisco Sex Information combines with her curiosity and explorations into the sex-positivety movement complete the dynamic blend of experiences that give her such breadth and depth of knowledge in human erotic expression.

Midori has also appeared on several television stations including HBO,Playboy, Peep (German), and others. She was awarded the Woman of the Year Activist Award in 2000 for Pantheon of Leather and again in 2001 for the Western Region Activist award.

Learn more on Midori’s website at www.fhp-inc.com

• Hands-On Rope Bondage - Sunday, November 27th
• How To Eat a Peach - Monday, November 28th
• Beginning to Top - Tuesday, November 29th
• Aural Seduction by Voice - Wednesday, November 30th
• Improve Your Flogging Skills - Thursday, December 1st
• Femme Forte: Women’s Sensual Dominance Intensive Weekend - Friday, December 2nd to Sunday, December 4th

Dazzleology by Annanda DeSilva

September 6th-30th, 2011
Dazzleology is a mixed-media exploration of the intersections of glamour and garbage; sequins and stare-downs; the boudoir and the back-alley. In this exhibition, Femmes real, imagined and somewhere in between are rendered in all their fierce glory by artist Annanda DeSilva, gleefully perverting the line between art and craft. This collection of old and new works draws heavily on the power of sass, sequins and love handles.

Getting Us Some Good Vibrations

As a worker-owned co-operative, we were originally inspired by San Francisco’s Good Vibrations. In 1992, the workers of Good Vibrations bought out founder Joani Blank (who later invested in our co-op) and had a good run as a co-operative until a few years ago when they privatized - leaving Come As You Are as the only worker-owned sex shop co-operative in the world! Since leaving the world of co-operatives, Good Vibes has focused on their retail stores, making sex-positive porn, and making safe and sexy sex products.

September 6th-30th, 2011 . Opening reception September 8th, 7-9PM

Dazzleology is a mixed-media exploration of the intersections of glamour and garbage; sequins and stare-downs; the boudoir and the back-alley. In this exhibition, Femmes real, imagined and somewhere in between are rendered in all their fierce glory by artist Annanda DeSilva, gleefully perverting the line between art and craft. This collection of old and new works draws heavily on the power of sass, sequins and love handles.

Claudia Korpanoff is a Toronto based multi-media artist. Her work focuses on the exploration of life and its social issues. Korpanoff doesn’t feel bound by traditional mediums and sees everything as a resource to reproduce her thoughts and feelings into visual creations.

Korpanoff’s current body of work explores such themes as sexuality, gender and relationships revolving around the complexities of love.

We’ve been graced with Annanda’s incredible presence for the past two years and as a worker at Come As You Are she has been a valued (and much leaned upon) member of our senior staff, has organized another wonderful year of our Erotic Arts and Crafts fair, curates all of our in-store art shows (and has put on a couple of awesome art shows of her own), and lent her creative talents to our windows and in-store merchandising.

Annanda is also one-half of our home party committee and has brought much joy (and information) to a countless number of brides-to-be at bachelorette parties across Toronto.

We’re so proud to have Annanda as a fellow worker-owner, and we’re all so terribly excited to open this new chapter in the history of Come As You Are.

Boy, oh, boy we sure do like nattering on about our core values, and this August newsletter is no exception! However, a day doesn't go by where someone doesn't come in looking for ‘the owner' of our shop, or a vendor doesn't understand why we don't carry desensitization spray (but it is 50% off this month!), or a local organization e-mails in disbelief that our outreach workshops are free - and we point to our core values poster and explain that we're a co-op.

Yes, we're a non-traditional business, we're proud of it, and we can't help but want to talk about it all of the time.

'Be Generous' may be our 9th Core Value, but it is the most core of our eleven core values. Without generosity, none of our other core values would be possible.

In addition to our always-free outreach and educational workshops, this fall Ducky Doolittle will be gracing us with some of our favourite workshops, and will be offering her Sex for Survivors workshop for free (register early, folks, these fill up fast!).

We hold a firm belief that sex toys can change the world, and that belief informs how we approach our customer service, our product selection, and how we contribute co-operatively with others doing good works in similar fields. From our collaborative vaginal dilator project with Happy Valley - which contributed to tangible clinical vulvodynia research at Queen's University - to our recently adopted anthropology doctoral candidate doing research on the role of sex toys in folks' lives, we see our role in fostering sex-positivity as something quite beyond selling vibrators and porn.

New This Month: Book Bonanza!

Complete Shibari 1 is an excellent manual with full-colour photographs, explanations, even a legend of icons that walk you through, step by step, some beautiful Japanese rope bondage. This guide explains how to choose different ropes, scene safety, communication and much more. Hard to find, and worth the wait! $35

Sometimes you want something a bit more explicit, and sometimes you want something more sensual. In Nice Girls, Naughty Sex, let your desires be the judge - this book is split up in to 4 segments covering everything from power play to fantasies to lesbian sex and everything in between. Porn for those who know exactly what they want, or who can’t make up their mind! $18.95

A collection of essays on personal experiences, escapades, and adventures. The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You is an excellent book filled with smart, often humourous and thought-provoking tales. S Bear Bergman’s new classic is a fantastic read, and a great addition to the bookshelves of those interested in gender theory. $19.95

At Her Feet is an indespensible book for those who are considering a female-dominant relationship, written both from the perspective of a long-term Master, as well as her slave. Fantastic, practical advice fills the pages, with a focus on how to make the relationship work both within the sexual relationship, as well as outside of it. $16.95

Get Involved!

Despite a cultural preoccupation with sex, there is a surprising lack of academic research on the subject of sexuality. While people are interested in thinking and talking about sex and sexuality, few individuals want to sit down and discuss the topic with researchers. As a result, academic theories about why people do the things that they do (from a social and cultural perspective), are seriously uninformed.

In hopes of addressing this issue, and in keeping with our desire to promote sex positive culture, Come As You Are has adopted its very own anthropologist. Leah Shumka is a doctoral student at the University of Toronto looking at how sex toys and sex positive education are shaping women’s sexuality. She is looking for people to sit down and chat with about sex and sexuality. Leah is primarily looking for participants who self-identify as women and who use sex toys and/or attend sex workshops on a regular basis. A modest honorarium is provided to reimburse people for their time. If you are interested, please get in touch with Leah at l.shumka@utoronto.ca or 416.801.9178.

Art in-store: Suite 16 - Drawings by Claudia Korpanoff

Claudia Korpanoff is a Toronto based multi-media artist. Her work focuses on the exploration of life and its social issues. Korpanoff doesn’t feel bound by traditional mediums and sees everything as a resource to reproduce her thoughts and feelings into visual creations.

Korpanoff’s current body of work explores such themes as sexuality, gender and relationships revolving around the complexities of love.

In hopes of addressing this issue, and in keeping with our desire to promote sex positive culture, Come As You Are has adopted its very own anthropologist. Leah Shumka is a doctoral student at the University of Toronto looking at how sex toys and sex positive education are shaping women’s sexuality. She is looking for people to sit down and chat with about sex and sexuality. She is looking for participants who self-identify as women and who use sex toys and/or attend sex workshops on a regular basis. A modest honorarium is provided to reimburse people for their time. If you are interested, please get in touch with Leah at l.shumka@utoronto.ca or 416.801.9178.

Ducky Doolittle has been teaching workshops at Come As You Are for about five years and this week she’s back with a line-up of workshops with such fabulous titles as Pop His Rocket to the aptly named Art and Nature of Being Sexy. A few people read about her in the NOW magazine, a couple people subscribe to her online newsletter, and a few courageous folks stopped by to pick up lubricant supplies but spontaneously decided to attend their very first workshop.

As the store empties of shoppers, staffers begin setting up chairs and a stack of Ducky Doolittle books (Sex With the Lights On) appears on the counter. The music is low and melodic as people gather in small groups or find a chair to rest bags and jackets. In walks the star of the evening and quickly the chatter grows louder.

Ducky Doolittle is full of energy and humour. She quickly draws folks to her as she gathers a growing pile of sex toy props on a table. Someone asks for an autograph on a book and the conversation turns to Minnesota and how it’s grown up over the years with more and more positive sex writers, bloggers and sex shops calling it home. It is also Ducky’s hometown.

Everyone sits down. There are about twenty people in the room tonight and everyone is waiting for Ducky to start the workshop. It’s a mixed crowd, some couples, a group of five female friends, three or four people on their own (two of them have started up a conversation about parking on Queen West). One person comes rushing in worried they are too late but they quickly find a seat.

The first five minutes of any workshop is awkward for all us. We’re not sure what to expect. Sitting in rows of chairs beside people we’ve never met before. Not sure what the topic will teach us or wondering when it will feel okay to ask the question at the top of our minds (maybe someone else will ask the same question? – yes probably!).

But Ducky steps to the front of the room and immediately we are drawn in. She talks about her own experiences of “living in her body” (her words) and why in this culture we’re all comparing ourselves to some ideal that doesn’t exist. And sex is hard to talk about – really hard. Immediately there is a collective relaxation as our group finds their common ground. Yes; we are all trying(or trying to not try) to meet this ideal as it might be.

As the workshop progresses, more and more folks ask questions. Ducky REALLY wants to get to all the questions. She gives everyone index cards so they can write down any question that comes to mind. She brings out anatomy charts and everyone gets to see a visual of internal muscles and neural pathways. There’s moments of silence as the group takes in new information (a collective aha! moment) and then loud laughter as Ducky makes light of a personal foible.

…and what we learned!

1. If we are sad or lonely or sick or depressed, we should treat ourselves with more sex as opposed to less sex. It is part of taking care of ourselves. It won’t feel good until we do it, and then it will be great!

2. Porn stars are professional actors and we shouldn’t compare ourselves to what they are doing. And what they are doing looks good on camera but may not actually FEEL good.

3. If you don’t want to do sex act “X” with partner “A” then don’t, but focus on the positive and tell them all the great other “A-Z” sex acts that are going to “rock their world”.

4. Enthusiasm will take us a lot further than technique.

5. We all need a Ducky Doolittle in our life that encourages us to explore sex and feel powerful doing it!

"Suite 16" by Claudia Korpanoff

July 1 - 31 at Come As You Are!

Opening reception: July 7th 7-9pm

Claudia Korpanoff is a Toronto based multi-media artist. Her work focuses on the exploration of life and its social issues. Korpanoff doesn't feel bound by traditional mediums and sees everything as a resource to reproduce her thoughts and feelings into visual creations. Korpanoff's current body of work explores such themes as sexuality, gender and relationships revolving around the complexities of love.

We’re selective about what workshops we host, and the educators and authors that we pick present workshops in our shop are highly regarded in their fields of expertise. We keep our workshops as inexpensive as we can - we don’t make money on our workshops and the fee you pay to attend goes directly to the facilitator and the staff working the workshop. We also offer a sliding scale to keep things as accessible as possible for folks.

We don’t offer straight-up ‘blow job’ workshops - instead we bring you Ducky Doolittle’s ‘Pop His Rocket’ workshop. We don’t offer workshops on ‘how to please your partner’ because we believe every partner is different, but we do have workshops covering everything from female ejaculation to non-monogamy. There’s something pleasing for every partner in one of our workshops!

We know which workshops we like to host, but we’d like to hear more about what you’re interested in. Whether you’re a regular attendee at our annual Midori workshops, or you’ve never attended a sex workshop in your life, we’d like to know what topics you’re most interested in and who you’d like to see bring their sex education to Come As You Are.

Fill out our survey online and let us know what you think! You will instantly get a coupon for 15% off anything in store or online all month, and a chance to win a $200 gift certificate!

A Resource for Businesses and Organizations

www.communication-access.org

Augmentative Communication Community Partnerships Canada is pleased to announce the launch of our new resource, which is funded in part by the Government of Canada’s Social Development Partnerships Program - Disability Component.

The resource is about what organizations can do to make their goods and services accessible to people who have speech and/or language disabilities. It is based on extensive input from people who have different types of communication disabilities and is grounded in national and international human rights legislation.

The Education Centre on the site has video clips and practical suggestions about:

o People who have communication disabilities

o How to start up a conversation

o Communicating with people who have speech and/or language disabilities

o How to support a person understanding what you are saying

o Accessible meetings and public events

o Communicating over the telephone

o Providing accessible print, text and e-communications

o Creating accessible forms and other writing supports

Please help to promote communication accessibility by:

o Checking out the resource

o Telling others about it

o Linking your website to it

o Telling us what you think using the online surveys or contacting us at accpc@sympatico.ca

We hope the resource will be useful in increasing awareness of the communication access needs of people who have speech and/or language disabilities.

Barbara Collier

Executive Director

Augmentative Communication Community Partnerships-Canada

131 Barber Greene Rd.

Toronto ON M3C 3Y5

Tel. 416-444-9532

www.accpc.ca

With a Canada Post strike looming over our little co-operative and our entire country, we’ve been reflecting on our approach to sending you our lovely and sexy toys, books and DVDs. We’re trying to figure out how we can serve you best while the fate of your mail hangs in the balance.

As a co-operative, we have a special commitment to running an honest and ethical business. We also have a mandate that prioritizes both our employment (and survival!) and a commitment to supporting our community. To us, this includes supporting the rights of other people to be fairly employed. However, with the strike deadline just passed, these commitments come into conflict with each other.

Within Toronto, we will be switching permanently to the non-profit courier A-Way Express (www.awaycourier.ca). Their mandate fits well with ours, they use the TTC to make deliveries, and they have a real commitment to being socially and environmentally responsible! Plus, our local customers will receive their packages faster and at the same price.

In the rest of Canada, we will be offering delivery via UPS in the event of a strike.

We love our Canada Post people. Sure, they lose or delay our packages once in a while, but over the years, we’ve grown so fond of the postal people in our lives. We know our parcel pick-up folks by name, we say ‘how’s it going?’ when we run into our mail person out of uniform on a Saturday, and we bake them cookies for the holidays.

We know Canada Post workers and people across Canada have diverse views on what it means to be fairly employed, so as a worker-owned co-operative, just know that we support your right to fair and just (and hopefully fun and engaging!) employment however you happen to define it.

It all comes down to the pencil and the human figure. Spanning from pre-history to the 21st century, drawing from life is one of the oldest and most basic skills for artists.

For the month of June, Come As You Are proudly showcases the work of Toronto-based artist and writer Kimberley Whitchurch in a series of works on paper: not-so-classic nudes and burlesque pin-ups, drawn exclusively from the live model.

Kimberley's lively, fluid line work and bold attack bring a playful sensuality to all her drawings, celebrating people of all sizes, ages, and gender expressions, from friends to artist's models to showgirls in leather and sequins.

"Luscious Life" opens on Thursday June 2 from 7pm-9pm, and runs until June 30th, 2011.

Location: Kensington Market
Email: aislinnbakes@gmail.com
Website: http://www.etsy.com/people/AislinnBakes

Products and services available:

• Homemade erotic cakes, cupcakes, cookies, cakes and pies
• Serving dish rental service
• Free pick-up or subway delivery for a fee (depending on size of order and distance)

These erotic photographic self-portraits and drawings aim to reclaim positivity and denounce the shame and secrecy surrounding sexuality. Sloppy Seconds is one artist's journey to find a place where hurting can also be healing. Inspired by stop-motion film, the artist pieces together images that tell the story of her queer body. Can we have the courage to hold our used bits up to the lens and take pride in them?

Runs from May 1st-31st, 2011. Opening May 5th, 7-9PM, 2011.

This show is part of the 2011 Contact Photography Festival.

The symbolism of spring is completely unavoidable. With this long, hard winter just behind us, the allure of spring is particularly appealing. Tolerable outside temperatures and extra hours of sunlight suggest that April is nothing if not filled with promise.

From the housecats itching to get outdoors to chase the many squirrels digging outside, to the proliferation of chocolate bunnies, Tenga eggs and unleavened bread, April’s appeal is obvious: this is the season of the ‘new’.

The new seems inherently appealing to all sorts of creatures - especially people. People like new shiny vibrating electronics with new features (whether they be from Lelo or Je Joue or Apple); we’re collectively obsessed with the newness of the landscape as the snow melts away to reveal love as green as weeds beneath; and folks often seem to be longing for a new year to celebrate (happy fiscal new year CAYA!).

The new can also be pretty scary We cling to our LPs and vintage boots and rubber dildos just as hard as we look for comfort in the gentle sway of the momentum of the status quo.

So, maybe we split the difference and do the same old things, but in a new way - take a step into the future while still honouring the past. Maybe this year, we stick with the bullet-style vibe but get a rechargeable one instead because it is better for the environment (and cordless!), and we sow the same seeds but take more care in nuturing them this year so we get some nice root vegetables come fall.

No matter how you do it, take advantage of the opportunity to grow, do or be something new. It only happens once a year.

If you've never been to a workshop at Come As You Are, the prospect may seem daunting and you may not know what to expect. For some of us, just walking into a sex shop can be daunting, let alone attending a workshop, but it doesn't have to be that way. Let us help guide you through the world of CAYA workshops!

How do I register for a workshop?
You can register for any workshop in-person in our Toronto store, over the phone at 1-888-504-7934, or online at www.comeasyouare.com

Who are your workshop facilitators?
Our workshops are presented by a select group of sex educators, authors, and professionals in other fields who have expertise in subjects relating to sexuality. Our sex educators range from internationally famous authors, to university professors, to local doulas, to fetish divas. If you'd like to find out more about our educators, we have biographies available online and in-store.

Will there be actual sex at my sex workshop?
While some workshops do feature demonstrations and hands-on learning, but there won't be any sex. Check out the description of the workshop you're interested in online or in-store for details about what the workshop entails.

If you're looking for more information, or would like to find out about hosting a private workshop at our shop or in your home, get in touch with us at 416.504.7934 or at info@comeasyouare.com

On the behalf from Ontario Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf (ORAD), we are inviting the Deaf and Hearing organizations in Queer communities to come together at our first Symposium on Building Alliance in Queer Communities: Bridging the Gap between Deaf and Hearing People.

The Symposium will be scheduled on Friday February 25, 2011 from 10:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at The 519 Church Street Community Centre, to discuss about these barriers that many individuals in the Deaf Queer community face. Symposium topics will be dedicated to discuss about accessibility issues, solutions, proactive planning, and working together.

Please register with Frank Folino at edirector@orad.ca and please include your name and email. If registering as an organization, please state your position in your organization and how many will be attending. You will receive confirmation within 24 hours.

Hope you will join us and there will be ASL-English Interpreters Provided and Wheelchair Accessible. ORAD looks forward hearing from you soon!

Ontario Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf
c/o The 519 Church Street Community Centre
519 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario M4Y 2C9
E: info@orad.ca
W: www.orad.ca
T: www.twitter.com/OntarioRAD
Y: www.youtube.com/OntarioRAD

How much does it cost? As always, all art shows at Come As You Are are FREE to participate in, aside from any personal costs associated with framing or transporting work to and from the space! Can I sell my artwork at Come As You Are? If artists wish to price their work for sale, they can provide contact information for Come As You Are to give to interested buyers, as art sales are not associated with store sales and CAYA Co-operative never takes a cut of any art sale profits.

Are there size requirements? What kinds of media can be used?
Please feel free to work in a size format that you feel comfortable with – We recommend only going as small as about 8.5”X11” so your work does not get visually lost in the space and no larger than about 4’ square so we are still able to hang it! At our store at 701 Queen Street West, we regularly hang art on our slat walls above and in between areas of shelving full of products. We use nails hammered between these slats to hang work on, so we require that art is either framed, fitted with hanging wires on the back or on stretched canvas that can be hung on nails etc. Work will not be taped to the walls, nor will it be free standing (sculpture or installation work will unfortunately not work in our retail space).

Photography, Painting, Collage, Mixed Media, Fibre Arts, Bas-Relief Rculpture (flat-backed) are all examples of kinds of art that have successfully worked in CAYA’s space in the past..

How can I get in on this?
Any time in January, send an e-mail to curator@comeasyouare.com and tell us a little bit about your idea for your piece. You can send an image of the kind of work you already do, or if you have a piece that would fit with the theme described above that you would like to show us, go for it! We will then send you our standard Artist Application Form to fill out so we can get to know a little more about you and your work and you can get some more information about what we value as a co-operative sex shop and whether this is the right venue for you. Since we display the work at our store, there is somewhat limited space, so the sooner you apply, the better! The deadline for submissions will be established once we gauge how many interested artists we hear from. Further details regarding show and opening reception dates are still To Be Announced.

We’re not big believers in new year’s resolutions - they tend to be unacheivable and are a pretty judgmental way to begin the year. After all, resolutions are really just a way of passing negative judgment on all of the stuff we just spent a whole year doing, and frankly, we think you’re doing just great. Not that the last decade didn’t leave anything to be desired, but we’d rather see all of these self-improvement projects be acheived and not discarded after the rush of the new year subsides.

Instead of new year’s resolutions, we’d like to see new decade revolutions. We’d like to see a decade where everyone just treats each other a little bit better. We’d like to see a decade where sexuality (and sex toys and porn and sex education) is not illegal anywhere. We’d like to see a decade where all of the workers become worker-owners. We’d like to see a decade where we learn to consume without causing destruction. We’d like to see a decade where we all learn, bit by bit to live a little bit better.

That sounds like a long list of hopes and demands, and while we don’t have all the answers, we’ve enlisted help. With a full slate of spring sex workshops and The Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair this Valentine’s, let us all take our cues from the crafters, artists and educators to make this decade that much better.

Erotic Environmentalists, Green Porn, and Being Lovers With the Earth. Exploring the Landscape of a Satisfying New Sexual Identity.

This is an all new, fresh, innovative, one-of-a-kind presentation which explores Sexecology- the places where sexology and ecology intersect in our culture. It’s about imagining the Earth as a lover instead of mother, in order to create a more mutually sustainable relationship with our beloved planet.

Get more information about Annie Sprinkle's EcoSexy workshop at Come As You Are

If you're looking to put some sexy in your Santa Claus, we can help! We've got ideas and inspiration for all budgets and we're here to help online and instore. We're prepared for all of your holiday inquiries and whether you're looking for a subtle secret Santa gift, something extravagant for your lover or something special for yourself, we've got you covered.

If you're looking to take a break from the holiday grind with someone you'd like to do a little holiday grinding with, well, we can't think of a better place to recharge your batteries than our little shop. We'll give you as much or as little guidance as you wish as you explore.

Most of all, we just wish all of you a great holiday and solstice, and we'd like to help brighten these dark, winter days (and nights) for you.

Toys

	I Rub My Duckie Ornament Big Tease Toys is infamous for their Rub Your Duckie series of discreet (and fun!) vibrators. Their ducks have been to Paris, into the BDSM scene and have even been shrunk down to the popular and powerful I Rub My Travel Duckie for on-the-go fun. For the holidays, Big Tease brings us the I Rub My Travel Duckie enclosed in a holiday orb ready to hang on a tree, stocking hook or loved one! | Learn more about I Rub My Duckie Ornament.
	Inro Organic Lubricant Inro Organic Lubricant is a certified OTCO & USDA organic lubricant. With a light and silky consistency, Inro Organic lube is vegan, glycerin-free, paraben-free and completely edible. Recyclable packaging. PETA certified. Ingredients: Ingredients: Organic Glycine Soya, Organic Aloe Vera, Vitamin E | Learn more about Inro Organic Lubricant.
	Lelo Alia Vibrator Lelo's new line of Insignia rechargeable vibrators boasts features, functionality and style that most other vibrators can only dream of. With a fully waterproof design (for easy cleanup and bathtub frolicking alike!) this external clitoral vibrator has six distinct modes of vibration and multi-speed control too! Easy-to-use, push-button controls and fast charging make this new Lelo vibe a must-have this holiday season (and beyond). | Learn more about Lelo Alia Vibrator.
	Lelo Flickering Touch Massage Candle The world of massage candles has exploded, and for good reason. Combining the two essential ingredients of a romantic, sensual weekend (the obligatory candle and the gateway massage) makes for one perfect candlelit massage. Lelo's Flickering Touch Massage Candle is the ultimate luxury massage experience with shea butter and vitamin E to moisturize the skin and provide a friction-free massage. These candles feature a low-temperature melting oil to create a pool of massage oil at a burn-free temperature. | Learn more about Lelo Flickering Touch Massage Candle.
	Lelo Isla Vibrator This smooth, sleek, silicone vibrator is part of Lelo's new high-end Insignia line. Featuring all of the high-quality and easy-to-use qualities we've come to expect from Lelo plus a little extra fun! All of Lelo's Insignia rechargeable vibrators are completely waterproof - for fun in the sun or fun in the water! - and have a unique push-button control to help you navigate the six distinct modes of vibration easily. This is a soon-to-be classic g-spot vibrator with a great warranty, great looks and awesome functionality. | Learn more about Lelo Isla Vibrator.
	Lelo Sensua Flogger Lelo brings a little luxury to power play and sensory play with their Sensua Flogger. Made of suede, this flogger is ideal for more sensual play and light genital flogging. Generous acrylic handle is a perfect compliment to Lelo's Tantra Feather and adds another touch of sexy to an already sexy suede flogger. | Learn more about Lelo Sensua Flogger.
	Lelo Siri Featuring an even stronger motor than it's predecessors, Lelo's Siri rechargeable vibrator stays true to Lelo's vision of producing high-quality, technologically advanced vibrators that work great and look stylish too. With push button controls, the Lelo Siri features six modes of vibration and will provide four hours of vibration with just two hours of charging. | Learn more about Lelo Siri.
	Lelo Soraya Vibrator Lelo's groundbreaking Insignia line is the ultimate in high-end, luxury rechargeable vibrators. The Lelo Soraya is a fully waterproof, dual-function (clitoral and g-spot) vibrator in hypoallergenic and non-toxic silicone. With a full year warranty from us (and a ten-year warranty from Lelo) this is one of the most reliable vibrators out there. Soraya has eight vibration modes, multi-speed operation, multiple motors for even greater vibration and an easy to use push-button controls. | Learn more about Lelo Soraya Vibrator.
	Lelo Tantra Feather As usual, we can rely on Lelo to bring a touch of elegance to our favourite sensuals, and this luxe feather is no exception. Featuring a matching colour acrylic handle and a burst of sensual feathers, Lelo's Tantra Feather is a treat for the senses. | Learn more about Lelo Tantra Feather.
	Love Lips Lipstick Vibrator Ever wondered what kind of vibrator James Bond or Foxy Brown might own? The Lipstick vibe is a secret-agent vibrator made to look just like an ordinary lipstick. A great gift for a friend or a toy for the office! | Learn more about Love Lips Lipstick Vibrator.
	Mini Love'd Dice A whole new spin on the classic love dice game! These easy-to-read and easy-to-play love dice are a little bigger and a whole lot prettier than the originals and even better - they're bilingual! Six sides and infinite possibilities - these dice are a fun, easy and affordable way to spice up any situation. | Learn more about Mini Love'd Dice.
	Pirate's Cove Rocket Whether you're a hardcore fan of the Pirates DVD series, or you just love the inked look, Digital Playground's Pirate's Cove Rocket is a cleverly designed, multifunctional classic vibe perfect for all pirate fans. With five powerful speeds, Digital Playground takes the rocket vibe to a whole new level. Fully waterproof. Push button control. | Learn more about Pirate's Cove Rocket.

Books

	Affection An outstanding memoir of a lifetime fueled by sex and desire. We follow an artist exploring the world, obsessed with sex and her self-image, from her tortured childhood to her impending fortieth birthday. Gorgeously written, Affection is raw, beautiful, intense, dreamy, and extremely hard to put down! | Learn more about Affection.
	Best Lesbian Erotica 2009 Excellently written, edgy stories written by and for lesbians, Best 2009 doesn't disappoint with tales of threesomes at sex clubs, rockabilly girls at 50s diners, and a night at the opera followed by rough sex. An excellent collection. | Learn more about Best Lesbian Erotica 2009.
	Lasting Longer First published in 1978, sex therapist Sy Silverberg has republished this classic guide to lasting longer for men in this millennium. With straightforward advice and exercises, Dr. Silverberg provides a step-by-step guide to controlling ejaculation. | Learn more about Lasting Longer.
	Ooh La La! Mindblowingly hot, grotesquely graphic, in-your-face dirty, sophisticatedly sensual, boundary-pushing and gorgeously written, Ooh La La is a collection of contemporary French erotica, written exclusively by women, and translated to english. One of the most explicit books that we carry, many stories include extremely rough (consentual) sex, very graphic depictions of bodily fluids, sensations, body parts, textures, etc. | Learn more about Ooh La La!.
	Sweetlove Grab your honey and have a night in with Sweet Love, a compilation of erotica for couples, about couples. Sweet and sensual with a bit of fantasy, role play, and some group sex, though it is heterosexually oriented. Nice and light yet well written, with a real focus on the concept of love. | Learn more about Sweetlove.

Videos

	Body Heat DVD Digital Playground and director Robby D are back with Body Heat, a super hot flick based on the lives, and sex lives, of firefighters. When the team suffers a tragic loss and their fire hall is almost taken away from them, they need to step things up and take the situation into their own hands. Excellent cast and storyline with all the bells and whistles we've come to know and love from Jesse Jane and crew. | Learn more about Body Heat DVD.
	Doing It Ourselves DVD Finally, super hot, independent, sex positive porn by trans women and their partners of all sorts of genders. Doing It Ourselves is a much needed and much anticipated new film that we're super excited about - groundbreaking, sexy and fun. 4 sex scenes, including a bonus disc featuring tons of interviews with the cast talking about their personal lives, why they wanted to be part of the project, and how they feel about porn and feminist porn in general. | Learn more about Doing It Ourselves DVD.
	River Rock Women's Prison DVD Fantastically done, River Rock Women's Prison is an instant classic. There's just something about girls behind bars - the sexual frustration, toughness, attitude...it's all portrayed spot-on in this film. Full of intense sex scenes that are absolutely dripping with raw passion, power dynamics and an interesting storyline to boot. Definitely worth checking out. One of the stand-out films of the year. | Learn more about River Rock Women's Prison DVD.
	Rough Sex 2 DVD If you enjoyed the first one, the second volume of Rough Sex is going to blow your mind! All scenes feature activities like spanking, spitting, slapping, while some include knife play, a full-out pony scene, cake sitting, and lots of Hitachi magic wands. If you're even remotely interested in sex that's rough yet safe and totally consentual, where the actors are 100% game for hot, playful and/or painful scenes, this is a must see. Best: Dylan and Madison's ridiculous chemistry, James Deen's sexpertise, and Adrianna being bound and taken advantage of on the pool table. With a run time of over 3 and a half hours, there is something for everyone in this one. By far one of the best films of 2010. Thank you Tristan Taormino! | Learn more about Rough Sex 2 DVD.
	The Band DVD Truly a film not to be missed, The Band is a story of sex, drugs and rock and roll at its finest, truest, rawest, and sexiest. The plot-heavy movie stands up as a feature film that just happens to have a ton of hardcore sex in it! The plot follows a punk-rock band's singer who's star rises too quickly - only for him to lose his band, his girl, and ultimately his fame. With a few twists and turns, we take a peek into the seedy underbelly of the touring life. | Learn more about The Band DVD.
	The Bangover DVD Mix and match a bunch of the best scenes from Wicked Pictures, and what do you get? The Bangover! With 20 scenes and almost 4 hours jam-packed onto this DVD, there's something for everyone. | Learn more about The Bangover DVD.

'From Our Mother' is an erotic collection of paintings representing sexual imagery through elements such as flowers and other organic themes. As 'Our Mother' is a metaphor for Nature, the artist suggests that sexuality apart from being individual and beautiful, is very natural as well, what should serve as an encouragement to accept or show one's sexual orientation and character.

Runs from December 7, 2010 to December 31st, 2010.

So partake if you wish in growing a moustache, or, donate if you wish to Prostate Cancer Canada. Let’s all take a moment to think about our prostates, or the prostates of those we love, and how we can keep them healthy.

Here are some helpful hints:

• Get an exam from your health care practitioner.
• Take a look at some of our awesome prostate massagers we’ve got in store – the Aneros, Rude Boy, Pandora, etc... Just ask!
• Bone up on your knowledge! There’s tons of books and DVDs that can make you an expert in no time.
• Check out www.movember.com or www.prostatecancer.ca to donate or participate!

On another note, the holidays are coming, and Come As You Are is all stocked up with everything you need for that special someone, or those special people, in your life. Or maybe you just wanna treat yourself, which is a-ok too! We’ve got some suggestions here, but feel free to give us a call, email, or drop by our Queen Street store for advice on how to be the hit of your holiday celebrations!

As many of us know, Hallowe’en began as a whole family affair - rituals designed to bring in the good spirits and keep us safe from the bad ones. In fact, with all of the good cheer, masks, and costumes, the Hallowe’en of days of yore is a great reminder of how we adults in modern times have really lost our way when it comes to adult play.

We’d like to suggest that we adult folk reclaim a bit of the fun and imagination of Hallowe’en and give ourselves permission to make believe again.

At any other time of year, costumes and fantasy can seem a bit out of place or contrived, but just as Valentine’s Day provides an excuse for red roses and chocolate, Hallowe’en gives us room to free our imagination and experiment with a whole other level of fantasy and adult play.

This All Hallow’s Eve, let us all follow the lead of our friends in the queer and BDSM communities and make a little sexy make believe ourselves. Whether you celebrate your fantasies in the privacy of your own home, meander through a Hallowe’en street party or debauch at a fetish club, use this holiday to expand your horizons and play a little trick or treat with yourself.

"We are inundated with images, so much so that we take them for granted. I draw images from popular media in order to relocate them. I enlarge, rearrange, and reinterpret mass produced images as portraits and figure drawings. The process of redrawing is one of careful study, an opportunity to fully consider images I would otherwise take for granted. I engage with politicians, playboy models, and celebrities, the famous men and naked women of popular culture.

On one level, I am creating portraits of these individuals. On another, I am drawing portraits of the images, icons, and idols produced by our culture. I am creating self-portraits of us all. I am also interested in representing a diversity of bodies, those that we do not normally encounter in the daily stream of images. I engage with bodies not pictured in popular media, such as my own body. Through my self-portraits, I also explore themes of self-image and embodiment."

Join us on Thursday, September 30th at 7pm-9pm for the official opening party.

We review all of our fabulously sexy toys, books and DVDs right here in house (that sounds creepy, but I assure you that we review all products in our own personal, private houses... except when HH reviews porn in our office and frankly, that's more often hilarious rather than creepy) but we feel strongly that more information is almost always better, and we're looking for Canadian bloggers to review some of our wonderful products.

Here's how it works! Send a quick email to me at gill@comeasyouare.com with a bit of information about you, your blog, and what kinds of products you're interested in reviewing. If we're into what you're doing, we'll write you back and hit you up for some information about your site stats.

Obviously, we don't require any control over your editorial and while we'd always prefer good reviews of the things we like, we'd much rather an honest review from someone who has actually tried the product.

If you're not a blogger, you can still get in on the action! Review any product at www.comeasyouare.com or www.veneztelsquels.com and you'll be automatically entered into our 'Review & Win!' contest. Each and every month, we review all of our reviews and randomly select one lucky reviewer to win a Come As You Are gift pack!

If you or someone you know is suffering from vaginal pain, these dilation exercises may be useful to you. These exercises should be done in consultation with your health care provider. If you are looking for more resources on connecting with a health professional or dealing with vaginal pain, please see the resources section. We have created this guide to dilation exercises with much help from Stéphanie Thibault-Gagnon PT, MSc and Evelyne Gentilcore-Saulnier MSc.

Annie and Beth will be marrying the moon followed by an ecosex honeymoon and have produced the most endearing video to give all of us a glimpse into their incredible journey as artists, lovers and activists.

There's something really beautiful and true in their reframing of 'Mother Earth' to 'Lover Earth'. Perhaps, in hopes we treat our lovers better than our mothers, Annie and Beth encourage us all to make love to the earth as the earth loves us.

Annie and Beth are 'kickstarting' their wedding so there's an opportunity for all of us to participate in this act of love, art and activism.

Check out their Purple Wedding page or visit their Love Art Lab online.

While the debate over sex education in schools will surely continue through all of our lifetimes, it is undeniable that most of us never received a proper education in sexuality or sexual health, and we spend much of our adult lives sorting out the mass of misinformation we received in our youth. Fortunately, as adults, it is much easier to access information about sex - we can seek out information online; we can attend sex education workshops at our favourite sex-positive sex shop; we are able to purchase or rent or download sex instruction DVDs.

However, with all of the information out there about sex and sexuality (especially online), it is becoming increasingly difficult to sort out fact from fiction, and this is where we can help! We have spent the majority of our adulthood sorting through sexual health information and sexuality products to bring you only the best of the best from sources that we’ve found to be reliable.

Our sex education workshops are performed by internationally recognized sex educators and authors; all of the books on our shelves have been read by us to ensure accuracy; our adult and educational DVDs are thoroughly reviewed; and our selection of sex toys have actually been tried by us so you know that they actually do what they claim.

We don’t fancy ourselves experts - you’re the only expert on your sexuality - we’re just here to help guide on your journey toward greater sexual health and pleasure.

But for any of us who live long enough, being a senior citizen and being sexual isn't a fad, it's a reality. Our sexuality doesn't stop or change because we are getting older. Our sexuality changes, but it does that throughout our lives.

The biggest change when it comes to aging and sex may not be how our body responds differently, or how we think and feel, it may be the way we are treated by everyone around us, and the ways our access to partners change as we get older.

It's hard not to sound glib about sex and aging bodies. The fact is that as we age we do have to learn to adapt to our changing bodies, it isn't all "embrace your inner wisdom" and "spend all that free time having sex". Although both of those sound pretty good if you can make it work.

The bottom line is that changing and adapting isn't necessarily easy but it is possible and can result in both great sex and greater self knowledge.

Come and explore Wendyland, the first solo show by Toronto illustrator Wendy Ding. Experience a place inspired by tasty treats, sexy pin-up girls and whimsical imagination. Join us for a lively evening with light refreshments and meet Wendy in person on opening night.

In fact, since the time we opened our doors way back in 1997, we've struggled with all sorts of titles in all sorts of contexts. The members of CAYA are officially called worker-owners to underscore that we're not a bunch of fat cat absentee owners of this co-operative, but rather, we're actively working in the trenches every day. The government requires us to identify a president, treasurer, etc for their purposes, but within our collective structure, it doesn't make sense to have a president - although, I know that Cory thoroughly enjoyed his tenure as 'secretary' and I find much humour in receiving mail addressed to the 'president'.

Further, we've never been good at coming up with descriptions for our individual job titles. The folks who work in the store and in mail order (worker-owners included) certainly are not 'sales associates' and their training doesn't involve any sales training at all. Instead, we all receive training on sex-related books, sex education dvds, erotic dvds, sex toys and sexual health, as well as, sex and disability, anti-racism, sex and gender, and mental health. We aren't sales focused at all, but we don't believe in calling ourselves 'sex educators' because that implies that we have a formal education in sexuality. Of course, anyone can call themselves a sex educator, and often we've wondered if we should jump on that bandwagon for the sake of simplicity, but it feels disingenuous to do so.

For folks in the media, we're even more annoying with our refusal to be named. One of our core values is to be the anti-expert, which means that we reject titles like 'sex expert' or even worse 'sexpert', but in this culture of expertise, we're expected to have authoritative-sounding titles, and we just can't and won't budge on our core values. Nor should we.

We've been playing around with some new names lately, but they all seem either boring or exaggerated, so we're enlisting your help! Yes, this is the official Come As You Are Nomenclature Contest of 2010! Send us your suggestions and we'll be awarding prizes for the best names, as well as prizes for the most humorous names too. Send your entry to contest@comeasyouare.com by the end of September to have yours considered.

We schlepped our wares exactly two blocks east to the Burroughes Building, unintentionally became the FourSquare mayor of said building, watched some Coronation Street in the elevator, and generally had a blast meeting and talking to some really awesome people.

If you've read our August newsletter, you'll already know that Sarah is busy rearing the next generation of CAYA co-op members (she's on parental leave) and this was our first event without our fearless event coordinator here to guide us (and you know, to do the heavy lifting.) But we persevered, and we think, it all came together quite nicely - especially with the help of our freshly minted display and merchandise coordinator (we're such a little coop, but we insist on giving everyone very formal sounding titles.)

The attendees were from all sorts of Canadian media - from blogs to national magazines - and it was lovely to see some friendly faces and some folks who became pretty darn friendly by the end of the day. A special shout out to the folks at women.ca for totally making our day with their unbridled interest, and one of our new favourite blogs luckypennydaily.com. Please don't think we're trying to uh, score, with media with these mentions, we just like to acknowledge awesome folks when they cross our paths.

A lot of folks asked us that day about our 'demographics'. That is, they really want to know about your gender, age, relationship status and orientation - and well, we have a really hard time answering those questions because we really don't think about the world in those terms. Sure, we meet you in-store and online every day, but we work hard to not make assumptions about your lives because we think our being open provides a better experience for you.

Perhaps because we've always had assumptions made about our genders, ages, relationships and orientations, we're just more sensitive to these things, but we believe strongly in being the sex shop and sexuality resource for everyone - not just couples, or women or queer folks. We want all of you to feel comfortable walking through our doors and visiting our website, and we really hope we were also able to do the same for all of the editors and writers who passed through our holiday preview this week.

We've been working hard to bring you a more frequent, relevant and easy-to-read guide to the goings on at Come As You Are - and we hope you'll love the new format as much as we do!

Here's what you can expect from our new newsletter:

Be Accessible: We've increased our font size and changed our font to the easier-to-read, and appropriately named VAG. Working Harder to Make Sex Easier: We'll now be publishing this newsletter monthly to keep the information fresh and to ensure you hear about new toys, books and DVDs as soon as they hit the shelves.

Contribute Co-operatively: We'll be frank: a paper newsletter isn't he most environmentally responsible form of communication. In 2006, we nudged almost 5000 of our newsletter subscribers off of lettermail and onto email and we promise to keep on nudging.

Create Nerdy Fun: We've produced this entire newsletter in-house: we designed, wrote, printed and folded this newsletter ourselves. Sometimes we just create a whole lot of nerdy work, but fortunately, we think it Is a whole lot of nerdy fun!

In other news, we're both happy and sad to announce that there have been some other big changes at Come As You Are co-operative.

Founding member, Cory Silverberg has recently left the membership of the co-operative after 13 years of dedicated service to pursue his interest in collecting Foursquare badges, and Sarah Forbes-Roberts will be on parental leave to raise our collective spawn.

We're half-joking about both, of course, but we'll miss them both terribly and are so appreciative that they've entrusted us with running this great co-op for all of you!

Introduction

Being sex positive at Come As You Are means we consider sexuality to be a site of tremendous health, pleasure and strength in our lives. We also realize that many of us experience physical, emotional, and psychic pain around sexuality. We are great cheerleaders of the positive potential of sex, but proceed with respect and awareness that sometimes sex can feel too painful to talk about.

Whatever the source of our pain, many of us will be faced with the challenge of trying to navigate this barrier to pleasure. For some of us this may be a brief encounter and for others it may be a lifelong challenge.

Though this process can be wrought with challenges and frustration, we also believe it opens up opportunities to redefine what pleasure means to each of us and re-imagine new ways of finding it!

This pamphlet offers a non-medical, pleasure based approach to sex and pain.

Accessing help

Unfortunately, there is still a lot we don’t know about many of the conditions that cause sex to be painful. What we do know is that no one should be told that unwanted pain during sex is “normal”.

If you are experiencing pain during sex it is important to see a health professional to ensure that any underlying physical cause is treated whenever possible. Before an appointment it can be helpful to make some notes, including information about your pain (when does it occur, what do you do/take for it, how long has it been going on, etc.) as well as questions you have for the health professional. Having notes with you may help you feel calmer and more focused, and ensure you get what you need out of an appointment.

When it comes to pain during sex, help can come in many forms. For some, it may mean accessing relationship or personal therapy, physiotherapy, or medical help; for others it may be about reducing their stress levels or making other changes to their day to day lives.

Remember, whenever you are accessing help, don’t be afraid to be your own best advocate! Absolutely ask questions, know your options, and get second opinions!

Sex the way YOU want it!

If you are experiencing pain during sex it may be helpful to try and re-imagine what sex includes. Often we are encouraged to think of sex as vaginal sex or partner sex. But sex doesn’t have to be either of these things. With or without pain, limiting what you think of as sex often only serves to limit your options for pleasure.

People experience sexual ecstasy while being fed a sensual meal, while having warm oil rubbed into their skin, or while being handcuffed to the bed post, and in a thousand other ways. Imagine the kind of sex you WANT to have, not the kind you think you ought to have.

The joy of solo sex When pain becomes a part of our sexual response many of us stop all sexual touch, even masturbation. Time spent on our own and exploring our bodies can be a key tool in learning, or relearning, how pleasurable sex can work for us. Often the pain we experience during sex is not inevitable pain, so making time when you don’t do anything that hurts and only things that feel good is important! Explore whether touching your body in new ways or in new places can create a pleasurable feeling.

Knowing what it is that you enjoy can help you communicate to others where to go and where to avoid so that you start minimizing your pain and maximizing your pleasure.

Toys and tools

Together with a medical professional we designed a set of six 100% silicone dilators. We find these items are often useful exercisers for people experiencing vaginal pain or post-surgery therapy.

When we are experiencing pain our bodies tend to carry around a lot of tension. Massages (with all natural massage oils) can help us not only release this tension, but also reconnect with others and explore erogenous zones all over our bodies.

Vibrators come in lots of shapes and sizes, and offer a range of vibrations from very subtle to very intense. Whether used internally or externally, they may offer a new sensation and increase blood flow.

Erotic books and DVDs can be filled with creative approaches to enjoying sex. From sensual massage to erotic rope bondage, educational to hardcore, they can offer all sorts of new ways to heat things up.

Online Resources

The Sexual Health Network offers an array of articles, mostly from a medical perspective on a range of sexual health issues, including pain during intercourse.

Scarleteen offers a youth-friendly, sex positive approach to sexual health information. Articles on sex and pain include From OW! To WOW: Demystifying Painful Intercourse.

Canadian Physiotherapy Association. Offers referrals to physiotherapists who specialize in pelvic and sexual pain.

Info and resources on vulvodynia from Queens University’s Sexual Health Research Labratory

Books

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability. Includes discussion of chronic pain throughout. Miriam Kaufman, M.D, Cory Silverberg and Fran Odette.

Healing Sex: A mind-body approach to healing sexual trauma. Staci Haines.

Get in touch

Need more information? We can be reached by phone at 1-888-504-7934 or via email at info@comeasyouare.com.

Disclaimer: this letter was sent to a number of sex shops years ago, and we're republishing it here because, well, I love the sex toys he's singled out (Hip and Hop Rabbit Vibe, Mango Packer, etc) and it was clearly meant for a large audience. Obviously, nothing you ever send us in confidence will ever wind up on the internet. Why? Because we believe in being worthy of your trust.

The first brochure we're presenting is "Sex and Pain: Re-imagining Paths to Pleasure". Click on the link below to download the pdf, or drop by our (fully accessible) store to peruse our selection of brochures in person!

What you may not expect, is that a lot of our product support actually consists of helping people put the batteries in their shiny new vibe correctly. So many of our so-called defective returns are the result of the batteries being incorrectly inserted.

Whether Microsoft knows it or not, they have just opened the door to a revolution in vibrators and other battery-powered devices with their new InstaLoad technology. InstaLoad allows you to put batteries in your device however you please, and it will still work!

May I be frank? Manufacturers do a terrible job of indicating how batteries should be inserted into their products, and most of us just play a bit of a guessing game especially when a device requires more than just two batteries. This is unfortunate and while it is mostly just annoying, some toys can actually be damaged if the batteries are inserted incorrectly (I'm looking at you, old-school, discontinued Fun Factory mini vibes!)

Now, I don't know how many battery operated vibrator manufacturers are going to jump on this bandwagon or if Microsoft would even allow vibrator makers to get a license, but if they did, our lives would be changed forever.

July 1 - July 31.
Art Opening July 15, 7pm - 9pm.

Planned Parenthood Toronto is looking for volunteer peer educators to talk with youth and women about sexual health! Whether it's about pregnancy options, birth control, STIs, or healthy relationships, our volunteers are trained to answer questions and share information in a non-judgmental, pro-choice, youth-positive, and inclusive manner.

WANNA TALK ABOUT SEX?

-Teen Programming needs volunteers aged 16-19 to answer questions via e-mail, through our Teen SexInfoLine, and using MSN chat sessions.

-Health Services needs volunteers aged 18-29 to facilitate face-to-face peer education sessions with youth clients at PPT's community health centre.

-Women's Programming needs female-identified volunteers aged 19 and up to facilitate face-to-face peer education sessions with female clients at the Bay Centre for Birth Control. Women of color are especially encouraged to apply.  

Please check out PPT.on.ca to get an application. Send your completed Teen Programming and Health Services applications to mthomas@ppt.on.ca. Send your completed Women's Programming todpearson@ppt.on.ca. Applications are accepted through July 31st and training will begin in September.

But here's the thing - you folks transformed today into a really great day for me. Today should have been terrible - it should have been just the worst - but luckily, I got/had to cover a shift in mail order, and I got to email and talk with so many of you and you were all just the nicest, loveliest bunch of people I could've encountered. 

Today could have been a day of heavy breathers and non-consensual telephone jerker-offers, but instead every customer (I hesitate to call you customers, because it isn't really about the buying, right?) I interacted with today had awesome questions or just really interesting things to say - even the fellow (who shall remain nameless for confidentiality reasons) who was having troubles with Canada Post delivering his order was so incredibly courteous and said such nice things about Come As You Are that it truly made my day, and probably my week. Similarly, my email interaction about the legal designations of vibrators (see more here tomorrow on this) was equally flattering and just the nicest. Also, one of our favourite special-order-only customers called today, and I always enjoy those chats.

Anyhow, you folks thank us all the time for doing good work, and I just wanted to thank all of you for making it so worthwhile.

While the replacements suggested in this post aren't the sexiest or particularly catchy, and the vocabulary routinely introduced by Dan Savage (Santorum for example) is mostly politically motivated rather than pleasure motivated, both of these 'projects' underscore the need for a new language of sex.

If sex in a canoe isn't quite your thing, but you are looking to have some great Canadian sex, here's your chance to get in on the action and do something great for your local sex toys makers at the same time! In addition to our usual awesome free Canadian shipping, we're giving you three made-in-Canada sex toys for the price of two!

Here's how it works: add any three made in Canada sex toys, books or DVDs to your cart and one will be automatically discounted to $0.  

As is the case with these things, the lowest priced item is free!

Not sure if the vibe you're coveting is Canadian? All products on our website are marked with a handy maple leaf to let you know it was made in Canada. Also, check out our page of Canadian sex toys, books and DVDs.

We're now also distributing the binders we've been collecting. All of our binder bucks binders are clean and wearable pre-loved binders. Each pre-loved binder costs $5 and goes to subsidize the collection of more used binders for other folks who need them! Our collection is small, but we have a good range of sizes available.

This item was faxed to us by an anonymous admirer - I believe they mass-fax sex shops in response to mainstream media coverage of topics related to sex and I'm pretty sure we've received other items from this person. The thing I love about this particular missive is that it details a list of alternatives to 'female Viagra' (some of which we might even suggest ourselves!) from body kissing to masturbation to the mutual application of Preparation H. Terrific!

With The New Yorker and the world's attention on Canada this weekend, we thought we'd take the opportunity to introduce the world to 20 of the best sex toys Canada has to offer and at the best price we have to offer! Even better, for everyone staying in or out of the security zone this weekend, we deliver!

Here's how to do it: Lying on a spaceous surface like the bed or the floor, both partners should be lying on their side with the partner doing the penetrating spooning their partner (pictured).

Although this position allows for a lot of physical contact between the partners, movement can be limited, and moving in concert with your partner can allow for more active penetration.

The Spooning sex position is ideal when a wide range of movement isn't ideal, and can be very comfortable during pregnancy (although consider avoiding lying on the right side after the first trimester).

Additionally, the spooning position causes less strain on the body, and is also a nice option for folks looking to change-up power dynamics during sex!

Initially, there was something kind of appealing about American Apparel's outward and explicit sexuality - possibly because it is so totally opposite to the co-operative culture at Come As You Are. Come As You Are is all about boundaries. My favourite CAYA inside jokes are about our parties ending promptly at 9:30PM before anything inappropriate could possibly happen, and about how we tend to wave at each other more than we hug or shake hands. Well, sometimes we high-five too!  We're really not into the professional come on.

American Apparel says that they hire based on personal style and that's not discriminatory. I'd like to think that labour policy works a little differently in Canada (and I'm probably mostly wrong in my idealism here) but it strikes me that what AA does is perfectly compatible with how labour rights and anti-discrimination works in the US. That is, how does Hooters even exist in the face of anti-discrimination law? If Hooters is any indication, AA is merely typical in their hiring practices.

In a press release, AA gave our CEO's Dov Charney's phone number, but there is no answer and voicemail doesn't work, but I would keep trying. The conversation to be had could be awesome. Ultimately, I don't think AA thinks there's anything wrong with how they do business and they probably think they're actually groundbreaking in making sex part of their corporate culture, but really, they're actually just reverting to the model we're all trying so hard to break.

Be sure to check out the American Able ad series Jes Sachse did a little while back.

More info: [American Apparel] [American Able]

It’s interesting to think of the ‘morning after’ as something that is shameful. Personally, I feel like it’s kind of an awesome thing – there are many good things tied to it (I’m thinking caesars and bruch). Even though we all have our fair share of what might feel like regrets, the walk of shame should, in fact, be more of a walk of accomplishment. I’m a big fan of notches in bedposts.

This week, we're so pleased to present the 2010 editions of The Best Lesbian Erotica and The Best Women's Erotica 2010 which are both excellent additions to both long running series, and The Best Sex Writing 2010 which isn't strictly erotica, but also isn't strictly un-erotic either - it is one of our favourite books in our 'brain sex' collection. We've finally posted Original Plumbing #2 online and #3 should be out soon too, so keep your eyes peeled!

Here's what's new in books this week at Come As You Are:

Best Lesbian Erotica 2010 Perhaps the best collection of today's outstanding lesbian erotica. Stories of a seductive cupcake-shop femme, two lovers producing classic pin-up porn for each other, one-off trysts between two butches, and a deliciously dirty text message relationship that ends up being more than the participants bargained for make this edition definitely one to pick up. A great collection of a bunch of different types of stories, all written well and impossible to put down. $19.95 | more

Best of Best Women's Erotica 2 A great collection of well-written erotic tales written from a women's perspective, Best of Best 2 illustrates deep, dark desires including blowjobs on trains, dirty talking with strangers, and much more. A variety of different types of stories to satisfy anyone's taste. $19.95 | more

Best Sex Writing 2010 Best Sex Writing falls in line with previous years' editions - throught-provoking, entertaining and educational essays on 25 topics directly relating to sex. This year's topics include first-time swinging experiences, the sexual aspect of the Twilight saga, teen sexting, a straight man obsessed with having sex and relationships with lesbians, and much much more. Always a great read. $18 | more

Best Women's Erotica 2010 Back again with the newest edition, Best Women's Erotica promises to be the most racy volume yet. Juicy tales of vegetable garden sex, a female cop forcing a flirty male collegue to strip in the line-up room, a sexy shoe shine from a stranger and much more. Dirty and explicit without being too raunchy. An excellent collection of 18 great erotic stories. $19.95 | more

Original Plumbing Issue 2 When we heard the there was going to be a new zine created for, and made by, FTM trans guys, it caught our attention to say the least. When we finally had a chance to take a look at it, we were absolutely thrilled with the results. Original Plumbing features hot, full-colour photos of diverse models, witty, humourous and interesting interviews, and much more. This zine is flying off our shelves, and for very good reason. Published quarterly. $8 | more

Sometimes She Lets Me You know what they say about how opposites attract, and sometimes the strongest attraction can be between butches and femmes. Sometimes She Lets Me is a collection of the best butch/femme erotica out there on the market. Stories include "Tag" where two lovers play the game naked in the woods and find eachother by scent; "Homecoming Queen" in which members of different high school cliques meet up by chance for a little role play; and the super-charged "Roulette", which tells of a powerful, manipulative femme schooling patrons at a rough butch bar. $18.50 | more

Transgender History Written in an informative yet extremely readable format, Transgender History traces back the ups and downs of trans rights and movements over the last half century. Discusses underground scenes, political changes, stand-out figures, health care battles, acceptance in different communities, and much more. A great intro to trans studies for anyone! $19.95 | more

Regardless of how you feel about Middle East politics generally, this is an incredible discussion to be happening at Pride Toronto this year. There's no debate that Pride began as a political act and Pride celebrations in North America and across the world absolutely have activist origins, but the political nature of Pride here in Toronto has been systematically swept away in favour of the big gay party we're familiar with. The interesting part to me is that anyone was surprised that Pride has become apolitical. The exciting part is that folks are now opening questioning and challenging Pride's mandate.

Like many communities who've experienced a great deal of oppression and discrimination, there has often been pressure to quiet down the dissenters within the community to present a unified front against oppression. The open dissent against Pride Toronto suggests to me that queers (at least in Toronto) have settled into the basic rights that have been won over the past four decades, and are now ready to challenge each other and the world.

If Pride wants to be an apolitical organization, that's just fine! There's nothing wrong with throwing a giant gay party once a year - but call it what it is: a party. If folks want Toronto Pride to be political again, they'll have to drop the fancy sponsors and their thick, uh, wallets.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 7:30 – 9:30pm (People of all genders welcome.)
Where: Come As You Are
Cost:$30/person (Sliding Scale Available)

Unfortunately, the only thing more problematic than various archaic laws regarding public nudity is the media coverage this story has received.

Mostly disappointing is that these trans people are being consistently identified in the media as 'transmen' with breast implants. Now, I'm all for folks breaking with gender norms, but generally, folks who transition genders have surgery or take hormones to achieve an appearance consistent with the gender they identify with - in this case, these folks would most likely be transwomen.

I know that many of you would already know this, but the error in the original article and all subsequent articles suggests that at least in the media nobody understands trans people and even fewer know how trans folks identify.

From reading internet commentary on this matter, I know that some would see my pleading for accuracy as a request for 'sensitivity' from the general populace - some kind of demand for political correctness - but truly, if the mainstream media is going to comment on trans-identified people at all, they ought to be correct in their terminology at the very least.

If you're not trans yourself, or don't know anyone who is, it is understandable that this stuff might be confusing, but in not trying to understand, the coverage of this thing has just become a mess of misinformation.

Next time, we'll tackle archaic nudity laws :) Fortunately, someone in Toronto must have foreseen the practical difficulties in enforcing topless laws by gender, so I hereby invite all transmen and transwomen with or without breast implants to sun themselves on our beautiful beaches.

[AP]

Lust, daydreams, voyeurism, self-defense and period stains; Fishnets, dazed pigeons and the ever-revered bushy mons all come together in a spicy stew of vivid colours, layering the glitter and grime of our city lives. Indelible Femme lays out all the sass, lumps, bedroom eyes and megaphone-moans for your eyes only, rendered in a mixture of acrylic, oil pastel, collage and sequins.

June 1 - June 30
Art Opening: June 3, 2010, 7 - 9pm.

Well, before you get any racy ideas about the Come As You Are washroom, I should tell you that our washroom is primarily known as being one of the only truly public washrooms on this stretch of Queen West (that is, we don't make you buy something to use it) and further, it is the only public gender-neutral accessible washroom on West Queen West. Wow.

I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging because mostly it is just terrible that we're the only one. This is kind of like when Good Vibrations privatized and we became the world's only co-operative sex shop by default - I mean, it sounds nice, but it is not like we did anything extra to earn the title.  In fact, we wish there were more co-op sex shops AND public accessible washrooms!

So, what do you do when you're not hanging around Queen West in Toronto and you need to find a washroom? Well, as is the new norm, there's an app for that! Using the information submitted by users to Foursquare, folks have built an app to help you locate washrooms near you. Even better - when they have the information, they indicate whether the washroom is accessible.

I know it seems like I'm giving a lot of attention to Foursquare lately - despite my obvious privacy concerns - but as with all technology, sometimes the usefulness can be more important than the sacrifice. In the case of the Pee Free app, you don't have to be on Foursquare to use it, and you don't need to give a lot of information about yourself - just where you're looking for a washroom.

There's a free, ad-supported version and a paid version available for Android currently, and it should be coming to the iPhone soon.

Has anyone had a chance to play with this new app? Please do let me know what your experiences with it have been like!

[Pee Free]

Art opening party: Thursday, June 10th, 2010, 7-11pm
The Raging Spoon (761 Queen St West)
Come see, celebrate, and raise a glass. DJ Dreidel spins all evening.

Exhibit runs through July.

View more images on [Facebook]

There's a lot of 'Come As You Are' out in the world - from dobermans to Christians to Nirvana to this lovely co-operative sex shop I've heard of - but this McDonald's ad has something we don't share with others: Venez tels quels (or Venez comme vous êtes, as it were.)

When we launched our website and retail store en français, we agonized over our French name almost more than anything else. We really didn't want to be one of those anglo retailers who forces others to speak English if you wish to refer to them at all, and it was important that our work in Quebec be available and easy in both languages.

Years later, we no longer have that sweet little shop on St-Laurent, but we're still able to offer workshops and support in Montreal, and we still offer customer service, educational and erotic books, and a French website at www.veneztelsquels.com. Speaking of which, look for a new, revamped Venez tels quels in the months to come.

This research has yet to be published, but according to the LA Times, in this study the folks who used lubricant during anal sex were more likely to get a rectal infection.

Yikes, right? Okay, well, don't put your lube bottle (or butt plug) down quite yet.

Does anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that the folks who have and use lube might possibly be having more anal sex than the non-lube using people?  More ass-sex is going to equal more exposure to ass-related-infections no matter how you look at it.

Also, folks practicing safer anal sex (i.e. using condoms) may not use lubricant as much because their condoms come lubricated, and perhaps lube-using barebackers make it look a bit like the lube is the problem.

I know, I know, my deductive, assumptive speculation is probably worse than the hyperbolic conclusions of the research itself, so I'll stop speculating and get to the things we know to be at least a bit true.

1. With few exceptions, the ass does not lubricate itself! To avoid doing damage or causing rectal pain, use lube.
2. Avoid lubricants that contain desensitizing ingredients. If you can't feel what's going on, you won't be able to prevent injury.
3. If you're not using silicone toys, consider a silicone lubricant. They're extremely gentle, hypoallergenic and they are great at preventing friction. Also, silicone lubes are great with condoms!
4. If your lubricant is causing irritation, consider an organic lubricant or one with fewer ingredients.

For sex nerds like us who are always hungry for new information about sexuality, this study - or the conclusions being drawn from it - are pretty depressing. We know from reading, fucking and talking to our customers and actual sex experts, that too much friction during anal sex can lead to tearing, and we know that open wounds lead can to greater exposure to virus and bacteria, so to witness a message like 'don't use lube during ass sex' being spread is pretty scary.

We don't have all of the answers - it's one of our values! - but we encourage you to get all of the information you can; think as critically as you can; and use lube!

LA Times

Super Sexy CPR from Super Sexy CPR on Vimeo.

Read more about Chris Ablett or view his collection "Sitting" on Chris' website.

Love it or hate it (I won't say which side I'm on) social networking exists and can sometimes be pretty awesome. If you've read my flurry of posts about internet privacy here, you probably already know that Come As You Are is all about being worthy of trust, and we genuinely think all businesses (and governments!) have a similar obligation to their patrons - whether they observe that obligation or not. Since we mostly can't trust organizations to keep our secrets, we need to do everything we can to protect our own privacy, right?

With that disclaimer in place, Foursquare is a smartphone-dependent app that allows you to 'check-in' at the places you visit and lets you let your Foursquare 'friends' know where you are. The more places you check-in at, the more 'badges' you receive and if you check-in somewhere more than anyone else, you are proclaimed Mayor! Fun!

We like fun! And even more, we like when you have fun! So, if you happen to be on Foursquare, check-in next time you come to visit us and we'll hook you up with something good.